 Drowning (without you) [infertility related]
Drowning
She reached out for me
(My child, my love)
Hands clasped together in desperation
(Hold on to the dream)
Fumbled through reason.
(What do you mean it's impossible?)
She, reflecting memories,
(I dream of your first day at school.)
A future to forever remain unshared.
(Am I going to die alone and forgotten?)
Slowly slipping down between our fingers,
(My mom will never be a Grandma.)
The gossamer confetti of innocence.
(I had always assumed I'd be a Mommy.)
We cannot say goodbye.
(Please God, hear my prayers!)
No.
(Hope is gone, the family name dies out here.)
It is too far along to believe,
(He won't know how often I cry, so he doesn't have to feel bad.)
It can never fall, this immortal light.
(Christmas will never be truly happy without you.)
Alas, love was not enough,
(I have failed you baby, because I ate too much at dinner tonight.)
To hold her up by what remained of tainted hearts.
(We really tried for you.)
Darkness has a foothold.
(I don't believe a family is whole without children.)
I realize that all our hope has died.
(Move on, they say. Distractions are all I foresee until death.)
Drowned by our unforgivable sins.
(I never meant to be so bad to not deserve you in my womb.)
__________________
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- Me - 28 DH - 33 m. 1998
- DX 1996. M/C Oct. 20th, 2008. EDD was June 26th, 2009.
- Meds: 2000mg Glucophage, Wellbutrin, Clomid, Multivitamin.
- I'm a photographer
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- 7/2009 Survived a 70lb tumor caused by PCOS. My Story:
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Last edited by Gothic_Kitten_1981; 12-08-2007 at 02:59 AM.
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