EDD is coming up

tallybarry · 05-02-2003, 01:22 AM

just when i thought i was going to be ok, WHAM!!! it hit me this week. my edd for my first angel baby was 5/08. next thursday i would be holding my sweet baby in my arms. i know that most people would look at me like i am nuts if i tell them this but i knew that someone here would understand. i am so sad. i was watching a friends rerun last nite and rachel and ross were having their first ultrasound. they were so excited and happy. it suddenly hit me that i would never feel that way again. even if i were to get pregnant i would never feel that same excited feeling of amazement. i just cried it hurt so bad. i kow i will get through this but right now i just cant stand it. thank you for listening.

kcal · 05-02-2003, 10:20 AM

My first pr I would be due on July 21st. I am so dreading that day. I did get pregnant last month but that to ended in a m/c. I know when we get pr again I can't let myself get excited because I can't keep going through the let down. Just wanted to let you know I know how you feel.

Louie · 05-02-2003, 12:12 PM

(((tallybarry))) I'm so sorry. When you talk about that friends show it makes me feel sad too remembering what it was like to see our little one waving its tiny hand at us only a few hours before being told that things did not look good. I wish we could capture that optomistic excited wonderful feeling somehow. I guess the only way we capture it is in our memory. I just want you to know that, although we'll never be quite so excited again, I really hope that there will be a time ahead for you that is full of that amazement and joy with your next pr. Keep the faith and be good to yourself throughout this difficult time. Thinking of you.

cystermoon · 05-02-2003, 12:34 PM

(((Hugs))) I can so relate. I was due around May 10th. It gets so I can't even watch Friends any more. I hate tv any more and the way they portray pg--like nothing ever goes wrong, everything is so sunny and worry free. It is so cruel!

I know what you mean about never being able to feel happy like that again. This was my third loss and I never really got to expereince the real joy of pg for all my fears of loss. It isn't fair. No one but those of us who have gone through it can understand it.

It stinks to have to feel this way. I know. And we will all get through it, but it just will take time. It's okay to feel the way you do, don't deny yourself these feelings. It is all part of the total healing process. Vent away!

Vaughn · 05-02-2003, 06:12 PM

My edd was June 23, 2003 so I know what you are all feeling. I've even tried in advance to plan for that day so I will be "prepared" except you can't really be prepared for that sort of thing. Hopefully it will be one more mile stone on the road to resolution of some of the pain.

Its funny because I saw Friends last night (the new one) and it ended with Monica and Chandler finding out that they have both have fertility problems. The show actually ended on a sad note with them hugging each other instead of a joke.

I was amazed. It made me very bittersweet to see what is so common place to us all happening to these characters.

I hope you all including Tallybarry that you take the time to take care of yourself on that day. Do something special to pamper yourself.

Vaughn

tallybarry · 05-02-2003, 07:10 PM

thanks ladies! i just needed to vent. i feel better today. i am still dreading the "day" itself but its just one more bump in the road. i will survive! have a great weekend ladies.

MaLee · 05-04-2003, 01:20 PM

Glad you are feeling better! EDD's are hard milestones to pass - but - they are passable. I was able to pass mine because of the great relief I felt that my cousin did not deliver on my EDD. (She was scheduled for a C-Section on my EDD, but they decided to do it 2 days early.) I still can't look at her baby without crying because I think - my baby should be at that stage.

P.S. - I also saw the Friends epsisode when they recieved their infertility diagnosis. I am just hoping they have to struggle a bit and not have a "miracle" pg without any intervention. TV does make it

Quote:

--like nothing ever goes wrong, everything is so sunny and worry free. It is so cruel!

shelby · 05-04-2003, 02:43 PM

I know how you feel...mine is May 12th and I'm trying not to think of it too much.

I just want to reassure you, and I really really hope I'm not upsetting you bytalking about this.... I'm pg again and constantly have the fear of losing this one. BUT..at the same time...I really do feel joy and excitement of this coming child. I just had that ultrasound and saw my child moving and waving, and felt nothing but joy and extreme gratitude. But that doesn't mean I've forgotten.

I've comforted myself with the fact that the child I lost, was too perfect, too wonderful for this earth...he/she was only good enough for God Himself. And also, this child I"m carrying now obviously needed me more. I still miss that child, and I hugely regret not having the chance to meet him/her...but I know I will one day. And I know he looks down on me and smiles and points and says "That's my mom"

The very best to you, and I hope "the day" passes with peace in the knowledge and anticipation of one day meeting your child again. ((hugs))

tallybarry · 05-06-2003, 06:46 PM

malee, boy can i relate to the cousin story! my sister is due to give birth to her third child the end of may. her due date was june 15 and we were both so excited that we were going to get to share the whole pg experience. sadly it did not work out that way and i have spent the past 3 months trying to prepare myself for the birth of my nephew. i know i will love him but it will be hard not to think of my two babies. my son is so angry too. he doesnt understand why elizabeth (my niece) now has 2 brothers and he has none. i dont know what to say. it breaks my heart. i also saw the friends episode. what a double whammy! i hope that they will show some of the struggles of infertility. people need to be more aware. its not that simple for everyone to get pg. maybe it will be a good thing. shelby congrats on the pg and heres to a a happy healthy 9 months for you!