Feeling a little overwhelmed...
by, 04-07-2012 at 07:13 PM (431 Views)
I'm a newbie on this site and decided that writing a blog would be the easiest way to take the plunge and get started on here.
I'm 29 and have been married for just over 3 years. I was dx'd w/PCOS at 19. Since my dx I've been on b/c to keep symptoms in check but have since realized that 10 yrs of hormones probably wasn't the brightest idea when it comes to PCOS management. In any event, DH and I have been TTC since January with no luck yet. I've been through 2 complete cycles without an O and I just started another round of Prometrium on 4/3 and will be taking Clomid 150 mg on CD's 5-9. Fingers definitely crossed for this month. I'm also taking 1500 mg of Metformin daily even though I don't have diabetes and as of last May was not insulin resistant.
I couldn't imagine the stress of TTC with PCOS until we began our own journey to parenthood in January. I like to think that I'm open to creating a family in whatever way God wills, whether that is through conceiving and carrying our own child, adopting, or taking in foster children. I like to think that, but the truth is, I'm disappointed and almost ashamed of the fact that my body doesn't work the way it was designed to. I know it's unhealthy to feel this way but every month when we arrive at the dr's office and hear the pep talk for the next cycle we have to put ourselves through, I feel like a great big failure.
My dr is handing us off to an RE in May if I don't O w/ the clomid this month. That will mean having an HSG, semen analysis, trigger shots, and ultrasounds for the next cycle. UGH! Yet another stress factor: the expense. Our insurance is not infertility friendly and we are racking up bills pretty quickly on this TTC journey.
Hopefully this is my month to O and conceive. I'm not sure how much more I can take of the med's side effects. I'm nauseated every morning when I wake up; I have heartburn bad enough to spit fire; I'm bruising easily and abnormally; and not to be indelicate, but the dang met is one heck of a gas bomb for your stomach. I shouldn't be allowed anywhere near an open flame, that's for sure. lol
Anyways, that's my story so far. Wish us luck for April/May.