Adoption Momma

I've seen posts from cysters that get the "baby itch" and wanting to TTC again. Lately, I've been getting the "adoption itch" again. I know our adoption isn't finalized yet, but should be within the month. The past couple of weeks, I've actually started feeling more like a mom instead of playing a role, KWIM?

DH and I would really like to have a daughter, ideally around 3-4 yr old. That would space the age range out nicely w/the boys. DH is saying maybe 1.5-2 years, but I'm ready to start the process again!!! I would love to call DCS tomorrow and say, "We're ready for a little girl 1-4 years old." I would prefer to adopt one more younger child now and in a couple of years adopt an older child.

DH says we don't have the room, but conceivably the boys could share a bedroom and free up the other room for 1 (or 2 hehehe) more children.

So, is this a normal feeling I'm having?

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cysterof2miracles

I am always wanting to have another baby! They're just so precious. We want to adopt 2 later when we have some more things payed down.
I was wondering how much is adoption through DHS if you don't mind me asking? You can PM if you want or if you're uncomfortable answering that's ok too. We have talked about adopting and know we both want to but from where we haven't decided.

LaurAnnHere

I think the want/need to have another baby is the same if you adopt or if you give birth. Jamie is only 20 months old and I'm itching like crazy, lol!! I was thinking about another baby before Jamie was even born. I would love to have a little girl. Fertility treatments and adoption is so expensive. I don't know if we'll ever have the means to pursue either again. I guess I have to keep praying for a miracle baby!

Adoption Momma

I don't mind to answer at all. In the state of Tennessee, you do not pay anything for the adoption; DCS covers all expenses. Also, you will continue to receive board payments until they turn 18.

Let me say, we planned on adopting thru DCS before knowing either one of these factors. It's definitely an added bonus to know we won't have to put out $$$ for the adoption and that we will get a small monetary subsistence to assist with the boys.

For anyone wondering, the board payments help cover the extra food, clothes, and utility expenses but in no means could it be considered as an additional income. The only people that benefit from these payments are cruel monsters that don't feed, nurture, or properly clothe their foster/adoptive children.

There are currently over 800 children in the state of Tennessee in state custody; most of them over the age of 9 or in a sibling group. At least once a week I get on the website and look at all of those faces and it breaks my heart. Out of 77 girls between the ages of 10-18, only 10 "have a family identified".

http://www.state.tn.us/youth/index.htm

ETA: The above # - 77 girls - is those who are available for adoption. Eight hundred children refer to both foster and adoptive children.

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LaurAnnHere

I've been on that site before.

cysterof2miracles

Wow Tina, Thanks for letting me know! I would love to do it and I think I'll talk to hubster and see if he would like to start the process a bit sooner than we planned. I was thinking adoption was gonna cost quite a bit of money. I have often just thought about doing foster but have wondered how it would affect my kids to bond w/other kids, see them as family and then them be moved.

Adoption Momma

I know a family, in fact the people that helped us realize this is what we wanted to do. They each have children from previous marriages who are now grown and have children of their own. They adopted two girls (I don't remember if blood sisters) and continue to foster. Last I heard, they had their 2 daughters, 1 granddaughter, and six foster children. While I'm sure there are normal fights, they all get along like siblings.

Their youngest adopted daughter told me she's had 23 brothers and sisters as a result of foster care and said even if someone lives there just a day, that was a day she was their sister. I thought that was sweet.

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Cassandra Gayle

I go through the same thing everyday. I 'want' to adopt again. Both my girls haven't even been finalized yet. We have had Rosie 16 months and Lili 8 months. AND I work at an adoption agency. Can you imagine how I have to deal with that crap.

dna

I am thinking already about Ava being home and where we are going to adopt our 3rd from ! The process is so long that I want to get on that bus ASAP ..

I think its completely natural until your family is complete

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Amy (34)
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DH (36)
DS (7)
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Oct 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Nov 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Dec 09 - Femara 5 mgs Days 3-7

Adoption Momma

Cassandra - I don't think I could stand working at the agency...or they wouldn't be able to stand me - I would be bugging them every minute.

Ava - I know how you feel. I know we are meant to have more than 2 children.

Last night, I was looking thru the girls available for adoption. There's one that caught my heart the instant I saw her picture. I sent DH a link to her story and just asked him to hear me out. I told him if he didn't want to pursue or discuss it, I would respect his decision.

He told me she sounds like a lovely girl but he can't think of adopting again right now. He said once I have my surgery and get healthy and the boys adoption is final, then he would be more inclined to pursue adoption again.

I explained it wouldn't hurt to at least find out more about her. She's 13 yr old - I know quite older than 1-4 years old. But I've mentioned before I don't want more than 3 younger children and then want to adopt at least 1-2 older children. I really, really, really want to call and find out more about her, but I know DH isn't ready, so I'm respecting his feelings.

I'm a jump in with both feet kinda person and he's the one having to grab the back of my shirt and tell me to slow down. LOL I've always been the type of person that has good intuition and when something feels right, I pursue it. My heart is telling me to find out more about this girl. There's just something about her. I know Brandy can relate; she just recently went thru the same thing when she saw Isabelle's picture. You know that feeling the first time you see a picture and there's the instant connection.

Right now, the house is a little crowded. BUT we don't have a basement, shed, nothing. Just last night DH and I discussed how just getting a small shed would free up space in the house. What did my mom tell me this morning? She has to go over to the place they bought their shed b/c to arrange moving their shed. So, she is going to get prices for me.

If we got a shed, that would free up the space we need. We could move the boys into the same room and all we would need to do is paint and get a bed and dresser (and new curtains...not many 13 yo's want Winnie the Pooh curtains).

OK...I'm rambling and jumping ahead of myself. **Slaps self on hand** DH said not yet!!!

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Sister66

I can't wait to adopt, we've been looking for almost 1.5yrs now and submitted our homestudy a million times. Even now that I am pregnant I am thinking of that little boy that is out there somewhere and will eventually be part of our family. I sitll look at the photolistings and submit our homestudy but I think me being pregnant is counting against us right now. We are licensed to foster but haven't had any placements yet, we are waiting until after baby is born. My DH is concerned that if we have a plcement and then a baby, the placement won't get enough attention. I love my dh I don't know if I really answered the question so YES, it's the same with bio kids!

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Adoption Momma

Correction on the $$$ for adoption:

After I posted above info, I remembered there was something they told us wasn't covered. I verified we will have to pay $147.50 petition filing fee and $27.00 for each new birth certificate. We will pay a total of $201.50 for the adoption of our two boys.

The attorney/court fees will be paid by the state.

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~Lisa~

Oh i think it's natural. My daughter is 3 my son 6 months and I'm already thinking of my 3rd baby. Not sure if he/she will be a "baby" but I am already wanting to adopt a 3rd child.

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