Everything Is Just Bottled Up....

CPerry1982 · 07-01-2006, 10:33 AM

Sorry but I need to vent. And since no one that I usually talk to is online, I thought I would vent to my fellow Cysters. I absolutely hate my life right now. Nothing is going right. I got paid thursday and already half of my paycheck is gone (Dished out $180 to my parents for rent) I don't have my license or a car, I STILL live with my parents and we fight about EVERYTHING and there is only so much I can take. They believe in their mind that I'm always going to be living there and working at walmart the rest of my life (Trust me not as long as I'm breathing... I need to escape) Then you have the a*******at work who have to gossip about WHO's Pregnant now and while I'm sitting there depressed as all hell they keep going ON AND ON and I can't say a thing because whatever comes out of my mouth about the subject I will likely get fired for. That's my only downfall is being very outspoken. That's why I'm so depressed when the hell is it going to be my time? you know when I can finally move the hell out of my parent's house, and living on my own, and having a family of my own with the love of my life? Why does it seem that everyone else has luck with all they do yet I don't get S***? I'm 24 and I feel like my life is going absolutely NOWHERE no one cares or listens they are like "oh it's not your time yet" man if I hear that ONE MORE TIME I'm most likely going to deck someone Everything is so bottled up inside me right now and all I seem to do is cry about it. I can't go to church and it's not that I'm not religious because I am a christian, it's just I always work weekendsI work in retail and I have to be reliable. Don't get me wrong I do pray at night. But anyways, I'm like the most unluckiest person on the planet I'm not married, I don't drive, I LIVE WITH MY PARENTS, I don't have any kids, I'm very sad and I don't know how much more I can take. And I feel like I'm in the corner while everyone is laughing at me I feel like such a loser

07-01-2006, 03:52 PM

Oh honey I think I can understand how you feel….. in fact I feel like I am wearing you shoes!

I am 29 next week, I do have my own place but sometimes I still feel like I live at home. My parents only live over the road and sometimes it’s like I still live there, mum still keeps insisting I come for meals etc… and since I went sick again at work its gonna be worse but I am trying in vain to change things.

After a massive argument last week with them in which I told them from now on I am putting myself first if I am ever going to get over this depression, it didn’t go down well and we didn’t speak for a week. To me that was heaven because I could do my own thing and although it sounds cruel it was great not seeing them everyday.

I am desperate to move house not because of my parents but because of some real anti-social behaviour issues I have living here, and I am just trying to focus on when I get a move (been waiting 4 years!)

I know how you feel, I feel a lot the same, this past couple of years my life has been anything but good, but I am determined to make some changes but its so hard to get started.

I finally open up to my doctor and asked for a referral for therapy I am hoping to start Cognitive Behaviour Therapy so that I can learn to be less negative and stop letting things upset me, such as my neighbours, people I work with, it seems I always think these days others are out to get me or have a go, when I know they are not but I can’t help feeling this way.

I was brought up a Christian, but I don’t go to church on Sundays, which is something I really miss doing… I stopped going years ago when my mum got ill and so although I still take my religion serious I do miss being part of a church, I want to start going away but I am scared of being around others, sounds stupid doesn’t it.

You’ll get there, I wish I was 24 again…. you do have plenty of time to meet someone and get a place of your own, I know it sounds so easy to say but it will happen, don’t let it get you down!

nicole47 · 07-02-2006, 04:42 AM

Cperry--Do you have any/can you make plans to get a better job? Is there anything you've always wanted to do with your life (besides getting married and having kids, of course)? If you brainstorm can you come up with things? Retail is so draining! There's a ton of jobs out there with various training needed that you could try for http://www.bls.gov/oco/ is a huge list of occupations in the US... you might need to get education loans for some of them, but an education loan is the good kind of debt to have. Even if you can't switch jobs right away, it might feel better having a plan in place and a future that you are working towards. There's a big bright world out there and you're only having a temporary set-back... you can get where you want to be from here, with some time and some hard work.

Mazarin-- Cognitive behavioral therapy is WONDERFUL!!! You have to work hard at it for it to work but it can really change your entire life for the better. I loved mine and use it all the time, even 5 years later.

07-02-2006, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicole47

Mazarin-- Cognitive behavioral therapy is WONDERFUL!!! You have to work hard at it for it to work but it can really change your entire life for the better. I loved mine and use it all the time, even 5 years later.

Thanx I am really keep to put in 110% to succeed at it!

CPerry1982 · 07-03-2006, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicole47

Cperry--Do you have any/can you make plans to get a better job? Is there anything you've always wanted to do with your life (besides getting married and having kids, of course)? If you brainstorm can you come up with things? Retail is so draining! There's a ton of jobs out there with various training needed that you could try for http://www.bls.gov/oco/ is a huge list of occupations in the US... you might need to get education loans for some of them, but an education loan is the good kind of debt to have. Even if you can't switch jobs right away, it might feel better having a plan in place and a future that you are working towards. There's a big bright world out there and you're only having a temporary set-back... you can get where you want to be from here, with some time and some hard work.

I've always wanted to become a chef (I'm addicted to Food Network) but I think I found my calling, I want to create video games for a living. Now I just have to find a college that has that type of course. I just need something to take my mind off of things.

nicole47 · 07-03-2006, 03:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CPerry1982

I've always wanted to become a chef (I'm addicted to Food Network) but I think I found my calling, I want to create video games for a living. Now I just have to find a college that has that type of course. I just need something to take my mind off of things.

One of my friends does that!! She does dialogue mostly. She's worked for a few companies (they tend to go out of business!) and is now working for Playstation.

The way she got started (and the way a lot of people get started) was by getting a job as a play-tester at a little bit higher than minimum wage, and that got her foot in the door. She also majored in English in college and had a minor in computer science which helped.

She actually was working full/time in the hotel industry doing paperwork stuff she hated and started playtesting in her off-time until she was finally able to quit the hotel job. She didn't get a whole lot of sleep, but she was working towards her goal which made it worthwhile. (Come to think of it, she was also living with her parents at the time and was finally able to save up enough with the two jobs to move out.)

What part of designing games are you interested in doing? They are ALWAYS looking for artists, especially 3-D designers, so taking courses in that would be good. They're also often looking for computer programmers... something that it is relatively easy to take classes in anywhere. And, if my friend's experience is any indication, they need a lot more (and better) business managers. There are a couple of colleges that have majors geared just towards the gaming industry (I forget which, but I'm sure you can find them via google). But a degree is not required if you can do the stuff they need.

One problem with the video game industry that my friend doesn't like (and that other people complain about) is that they work very long hours without overtime and it seems like they're always up against a hard deadline. It is a fun place to work with cool people and reasonably high salaries, but the burn-out rate is very high-- a lot of people leave after a few years because of the stress.

Being a chef is also a cool career. The best schools in the country are the CIA (Culinary Institute of America), but there are a number of other great schools that can get you where you need to be. The big one that people go to in my neck of the woods (New England) is Johnston and Wales (spelling?), though there are also schools in Boston that people go to.

CPerry1982 · 07-03-2006, 06:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicole47

One of my friends does that!! She does dialogue mostly. She's worked for a few companies (they tend to go out of business!) and is now working for Playstation.

The way she got started (and the way a lot of people get started) was by getting a job as a play-tester at a little bit higher than minimum wage, and that got her foot in the door. She also majored in English in college and had a minor in computer science which helped.

She actually was working full/time in the hotel industry doing paperwork stuff she hated and started playtesting in her off-time until she was finally able to quit the hotel job. She didn't get a whole lot of sleep, but she was working towards her goal which made it worthwhile. (Come to think of it, she was also living with her parents at the time and was finally able to save up enough with the two jobs to move out.)

What part of designing games are you interested in doing? They are ALWAYS looking for artists, especially 3-D designers, so taking courses in that would be good. They're also often looking for computer programmers... something that it is relatively easy to take classes in anywhere. And, if my friend's experience is any indication, they need a lot more (and better) business managers. There are a couple of colleges that have majors geared just towards the gaming industry (I forget which, but I'm sure you can find them via google). But a degree is not required if you can do the stuff they need.

One problem with the video game industry that my friend doesn't like (and that other people complain about) is that they work very long hours without overtime and it seems like they're always up against a hard deadline. It is a fun place to work with cool people and reasonably high salaries, but the burn-out rate is very high-- a lot of people leave after a few years because of the stress.

Being a chef is also a cool career. The best schools in the country are the CIA (Culinary Institute of America), but there are a number of other great schools that can get you where you need to be. The big one that people go to in my neck of the woods (New England) is Johnston and Wales (spelling?), though there are also schools in Boston that people go to.

I think I would like to be a 3d designer that sounds cool. I know they have a cooking school in cromwell.

jlucy · 07-07-2006, 07:51 AM

Oh, I feel like that sometimes. Right now I sort of do. I lived with my parents until I was about 30 so you're not the only one! Get yourself into school or on some path to changing what you do even if it's a long path. I finally finsihed school and moved and now I'm happier about that aspect of my life at least. Although lately I feel like a loser with no boyfriend sitting home on weekends and working all the time. Sometimes it gets so frustrating so I can totally relate.

CPerry1982 · 07-08-2006, 04:35 AM

It's just everything in my life is not going my way, if I hear ONE MORE co-worker of mine who's pregnant talk about their kids and childbirth and stuff I'm gonna SCREAM! And the money situation right now sucks cause half of my paycheck goes right to the parents. So it's not like I can get everything that I need done (Like get my license and move out) I'm going crazy in my house, my parents or sister don't understand all the bu**s*** I'm going through. That's why they are all like "oh don't worry about it" I just wish SOMEONE that I"m related to would take me seriously.