Expecting again

SheriKCMO · 07-30-2004, 11:04 PM

Hi Everyone,
Brad and I are expecting again in February. It has been a roller coaster so far emotionally, because it is hard to believe that I will end up with a living child at the end. For a few weeks, I was convinced that I had lost it already. We haven't even told our parents yet, as we thought that after the cerclage we will feel more secure. If I can spare them the heartache, I'll do it. But I'm feeling pretty optimistic lately and might spill the beans before the procedure. I'll be twelve weeks along Monday.

The pregnancy has also stirred up a lot of emotions about Mary Catherine and the pregnancy last year. Now I know why they say to wait a year, but I'm too old for that! lol Everything that is different or the same as last time reminds me of the joy I felt in the innocence of the first time. I'm enjoying certain aspects of this pregnancy, but I don't feel quite so attached. It's as if I'm guarding myself from the pain of losing the baby again (which we all know is totally impossible). But I'm not trying to do it. I want to invest and get pumped up about it. I'm just being soooo cautious. I didn't even tell my cysters or join a due date group until eleven weeks!

We will probably have another sonogram in the next few weeks, maybe even this coming week, so maybe I'll grow more excited next time we see Little Honey.

Any advice out there from others about the second go-'round?

Thanks,
Sheri

dreamchaser · 07-31-2004, 12:18 AM

I just wantted to tell you congradulations & have a happy 9 mo's

loriette · 07-31-2004, 01:44 AM

Sheri~

I am so happy for you! I hope everything works out for you! I honestly have no advice for you, I wish I did. The only thing I can say is enjoy these months, they are the best. Take care of yourself and that little honey!

Lori

CathyWood · 07-31-2004, 02:18 AM

WOW Sheri...you little secret keeper.

Congrats. I am so happy for you. How could you keep this from me...oh you are sooo good

*Ellie* · 07-31-2004, 02:21 AM

Sheri, congratulations! I have been following your story since I came to this site and I think it's wonderful that you have found success again! Have a very happy and healthy 9 months!!!!!

packerfan · 07-31-2004, 02:23 AM

Sheri,

I don't know if my advice is relevant to your situation, you lost Mary Catherine so much later in your PG, than my m/c. That type of loss is much more heart-wrenching.

I would tell your parents and family, they are great support. God-forbid if something were to happen, they'd WANT to be there for you and DH. Plus with telling them now, you'll have even more people praying for your little one

**For me*** I found that being PG by the time my m/c anniversary came around was certainly a blessing. I still had an emotional day, but it could have been worse. Take the day off of work if you work.

I still have those times were I think.. "I should have a one-year-old by now etc. I remind myself if I hadn't m/c, I wouldn't have my son now. While my first baby certainly would have been wonderful, I just can't imagine my life without my DS. Your daughter did the same thing, she gave the ultimate sacrifice by giving her life so that you could have this baby. She would want you enjoy this time in your life.

Lastly, try not to compare this pregancy to your last ones, you'll drive yourself nuts. It hard not to do.

See you over on the mommy board soon. (BTW, Feb is a great month for a baby, they are at a fun age for the summer, plus they are on a better schedule!).

Kim

SheriKCMO · 07-31-2004, 02:43 AM

Thank you all so much, and yes, I've been a sneaky little secret keeper. It is just too painful to give that bad news to so many people who care about us. I guess this one will be the one that we could have been telling about from day one!

I actually told my best friend today. I had been waiting while she anticipated her own hard-won baby's arrival. Holding her little one and spending time with her just made it all feel right today, and she was ecstatic for me. Well, she's as ecstatic as an exhausted new mom can be! I love holding her newborn daughter as I long to hold my own and have felt so empty for so many months. It is truly a priviledge.

Thanks for listening,
Sheri

AvivaElona · 07-31-2004, 10:48 AM

Hi Again Sheri,

You know I have no advice for you because I'm going through it all at the same time. But if you ever want to talk, I probably will be having a lot of the same feelings.

I was pregnant again before what should have been Isaac's due date, and my chili pepper is due right around his anniversary date. There are so many feelings around it all that most of the time I can't even sort it out to figure out what I feel!

I told my parents and other close people. I thought at first of keeping it quiet, but I realized that if I did lose this baby too I'd need the support. We haven't announced it to extended family and such yet though. I asked my mom when she wanted to tell them, and she said "maybe after the baby is born"

Hugs, and hang in there. Its so wonderful being pregnant again, but it is bittersweet too, isn't it?

Aviva

Pamela · 07-31-2004, 11:35 AM

Sheri, I'm SO happy for you. No real advice other than to try to enjoy this pregnancy, and NO comparing to your other pregnancies. I did that and it drove me nuts!!!!!!!
Pam

Kachina · 07-31-2004, 05:44 PM

Hi SHeri,
Many Congratulations on your pregnancy.
I guess that it is very normal to be trying not to get too attached, just in case, so I can understand why you feel that way.
I guess once you are further along you will feel a little more relaxed and although you probably won't feel totally ok until you hold that little Honey in your arms, try to relax and enjoy it.
I am so glad that your situation has turned itself around to a happier one.
Take good care of yourself, rest alot, be healthy and happy....and I am really pleased for you. It gives the rest of us hope.
Kachina xxx

*katja* · 07-31-2004, 06:00 PM

Sheri, I don't know if you remember me and I hope you don't mind me jumping over here but I wanted to congratulate you and let you know that I'm rooting for you.
Blessings
Katja

Liesl123 · 08-02-2004, 03:55 PM

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I wish the best for you and your DH. Blake and I lost our son to IC (thanks for your reply a couple of weeks ago). I do not have any words of wisdom as to a pregnancy after a loss like ours. I just hope to be in your shoes one day. It has only been 4 weeks since William was born, but it seems like it may be easier if I would be expecting another baby during the holidays. Especially before William's original due date because it would not be possible for the 2nd baby to be here if I had carried William to term and it may help to explain part of God's plan...which I am having a tough time with right now.

sugarhoney · 08-02-2004, 04:16 PM

Sheri.....CONGRATS and i wish u a happy and healthy 9 months!

SheriKCMO · 08-02-2004, 07:15 PM

Thanks to everyone... My cysters are the greatest! I know or remember each of you from many different threads and forums, and I really appreciate each of your good wishes.

Leisl,
I hope with all of my heart that conceiving again is easy for you and your husband. Though this is not easy, and it is most certainly not a replacement for our first child, this pregnancy gives me a purpose and a reason to find happiness in the world and a belief that the future might be much brighter.

It feels like 150 years have past since November 28th. My empty arms are crying to be filled, and this is a nearly universal response to pregnancy loss or infant loss. Sometimes waiting is for the best, but for me, it was time to get going again. I hope that you find the right answer for you.

Love to all of my Cysters,
Sheri

Christa01 · 08-03-2004, 12:18 AM

I just wanted to tell you that I'll be praying for you and your little one...congrats!

Also your due date caught my eye as that was when my ds2 was born...so your new one will be in good company sharing a birthday with mine!

Christa