Expecting a miscarriage--I have a couple of questions

jmhtmh · 05-14-2006, 03:25 PM

Hi Ladies,

I recenlty learned I was pregnant. Unfortunately, following my second beta I was told that my numbers have dropped slightly and that it is "not a good pregnancy." (I got this info in a phone message so I couldn't ask any questions). I am guessing that they are trying to tell me that they expect that I will miscarry. I don't think I was more than a few weeks along. I believe that my beta was around 38.

How long will it be before I start to bleed? I feel like the sooner it happens the sooner I can move on emotionally.

Also, does anyone know why you are told to wait a full cycle before TTC again? My last AF was the end of Dec. I pray it won't be another 5 months before I ovulate again. I have been on met for about 3 months now, so hopefully this pregnancy was a sign that my body is starting to work again.

Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.

nicole47 · 05-14-2006, 04:18 PM

I am very sorry for your loss. For me I got a flash of blood, then my betas started dropping and a few days later I started bleeding. The bleeding lasted about two weeks.

Opinion (at least online) is divided about whether or not you're more likely to miscarry the cycle after a miscarriage. I haven't read the studies, but I have read people saying that the studies that show a second miscarriage is more likely are flawed because of sample selection. However, if you don't have a natural miscarriage, there's a chance that there is still some flesh left in utero, so doctors like to see your system cleared out completely, but with an early miscarriage that is very unlikely.

The best reason given for waiting a cycle afterwards is for emotional reasons. I clung to the month afterwards where I wasn't trying to have a baby... and then we accidentally did conceive, completely unexpectly and unintentionally.

If you want a new cycle to clear out your system earlier than 5 months (and met isn't working), ask for provera or prometrium a month after the miscarriage. Just be sure to take a pregnancy test before taking provera (it can cause birth defects).

jmhtmh · 05-14-2006, 09:12 PM

Thank you for your advice/opinions. I appreciate having somewhere to turn for some input when the MDs office is closed!

LaurAnnHere · 05-14-2006, 09:22 PM

I am so very sorry for your loss.

It happens many different way, with different time frames. Sometimes it can take weeks before the bleeding starts. With most of mine it did. Waiting is very painful and when you finally bleed, it's like you suffer the loss twice. Most likely it will feel very similar to a regular period since it's an early m/c. It might be heavier.

I usually tried again the same cycle. It helped me. It made me feel there was hope. As long as I had hope I could survive and sometimes I really didn't feel like I could survive. Plus, I've always heard you are most fertile after you give birth, and a miscarriage is still giving birth. My living son was concieved the same cycle as a miscarriage. We counted the m/c as the first day of my period. However, you should do what feels right to you. Don't push yourself emotionally to move on and TTC again right away. If it feels right to you, then do it. If you're not ready, don't do it. Whatever you decide is right. (((hugs)))

Littlebullet · 05-15-2006, 01:03 AM

I'm very sorry for your loss (((hugs))). It can take several weeks to miscarry in some cases. I chose to not wait to miscarry naturally because I wanted it to be over with so I could move on. I miscarried right at 6 weeks and the cramping was quite painful and I was bleeding heavily so the doctor scheduled an emergency D&C. My m/c before this one I was 13 weeks. I had some spotting which made me go to the ER but no cramps at all. I had a D&C 2 days later.

As for waiting a cycle to TTC, I read it is because your cervix is still open and prone to infection. I also heard many women conceive the cycle after. I am praying that things go as smoothly as can be expected for you and remember we are all here if you need us.

Jennifer

saluki_fan · 05-15-2006, 04:10 PM

I think a lot of doctors want you to wait one cycle because they want it to be easier to "date" a pregnancy if there has been an AF between the loss and the new pregnancy.

I had to wait 3 cycles to TTC again after my first loss because I needed an MMR immunization. It made me so frustrated

to see 3 good "eggies" go by. But, on the positive side, I learned that Metformin worked for me!

envirohist · 05-15-2006, 04:13 PM

Dern those people for leaving you that information in a MESSAGE. Arggh!

Tia38 · 05-15-2006, 04:35 PM

Hugs. I think everyone has said what I wanted to say. Just wanted to send you more hugs.

-Tia

PS. Write down all your questions before you talk to doc again. At the best of times I usually forget my questions. This can be a very difficult and emotional time. HUGS.

lovepotato · 05-15-2006, 07:26 PM

I'm sorry, and I hope you get to talk to an actual person next time you call your doctor!

Phoenix Rising ^^^ · 05-15-2006, 07:51 PM

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. EVeryone else has answered your questions already. I would be upset getting news like that on a phone message. What about your privacy? With all the HIPPA laws in place, I'm surprised they would give any info in a message.

The reason Dr.s tell you to wait one cyle is to accurately date the pregnancy.

A natural m/c can take weeks.

We are all here to support you through what's likely to be a difficult time.

(((((BIG HUGS)))))

Tia38 · 05-15-2006, 08:19 PM

One thing to add is that if your beta was already dropping, and it wasn't that high, with any luck things will not drag on for you. (That's not meant to sound harsh; speaking from experience once it was clear I was going to m/c I just wanted the whole thing to be over.)

I am so sorry for your loss.....

-Tia

jmhtmh · 05-15-2006, 11:49 PM

Thanks for all of the support ladies.

I spoke to a live person today. Found out when they first tested, my beta was around 40, two days later it was 38 and today it was 17. They told me to come back next Monday so they can see if it is at 0.

My doctor said that as soon as my AF is over, that I should give her a call so she can schedule a saline ultrasound. Is this standard procedure? I have heard that it is a somewhat painful procedure, but I guess I should do it to make sure that everything looks o.k. so we can get back to ttcing.

and Tia, I agree with you -- AF will help bring some closure for me. I thought I was o.k. about this after a good cry when I first got the news, but when I got the message today that my betas had dropped to 17, I wanted to cry again. Even though the pregnancy was early, it is still heartbreaking. I hope that since my betas weren't that high to begin with, that it will come soon. In fact, I am starting to feel some bad cramping so maybe it's on it's way.

Thanks again ladies.

LaurAnnHere · 05-16-2006, 01:35 AM

It sounds like you're pretty close, but I had beta's in the single digits that took weeks to produce AF. It can still be a horrible waiting game. Don't be surprised if it hits you even harder when AF comes.

I've never had a saline u/s. I have had multiple m/c and I hadn't heard of that procedure. Hopefully someone else can give you more information on that. (((hugs)))

saluki_fan · 05-16-2006, 02:34 AM

A saline u/s is also called a sonohystogram or sonohysterogram - something like that - I think it gives you a little more detail (on the uterus side of things) than an HSG.

nicole47 · 05-16-2006, 02:42 AM

I hadn't heard of that procedure either. Just another note of warning on the bleeding-- you may think you're done and then it will start up again. That hit me very hard.

Hang in there and keep checking in for support as you need it. We have all been there and understand how awful the pain can be. Truly this is not something anyone should have to suffer through. Take as much time and feel as awful as you want. You will get through this but it may take some time. *hugs*