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09-17-2007, 02:20 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 749
Points: 20,423.26 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 20,423.26 |  Failed Adoption :(
Well sorry I've been MIA this month. I've had a VERY HORRIBLE month.
As you may of known, we were in the process of adopting our children's middle sibling. It fell thru. The birthmother was suppose to fly here (we paid for the tickets). We paid for a lot of things and even paid the lawyer. Not got any money back as of yet. She didn't even call us. She just texted me a message on my cell phone a few hours before we were to pick her up. And it was her idea. It was so bad. We went out and bought all kinds of stuff for the little girl that couldn't be returned. Were out a lot of money, but more than anything heart broken and so was our daughter. She changed her phone # just hours after texting me so I never got to even "talk" to her. But now I've changed mine and am DONE with her. And it sucks because I had a open relationship with her for the kids.
That's my life this month! 
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09-17-2007, 02:23 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Nederland, Tx
Posts: 231
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My gosh! I'm so very sorry. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. I hope thing get better. | |
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09-17-2007, 04:48 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Vince's Wife, Yuna's Mama
Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Kansas
Posts: 2,276
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So sorry for your failed adoption. I hope you are able to find some closure on this.
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Kati (29)
DH Vince (27)
Married 1-29-05
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Never TTC -- Straight to Adoption
DD Yuna
Born in the USA 10-01-06 -- Finalized 4-12-07
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Still hoping and praying to adopt #2 someday...
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09-17-2007, 09:13 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Member since Aug. 2003
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Southern IN
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I'm sorry you had to go through that. I had no idea that you were going to adopt again.
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Amy (31) SAHM &
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09-17-2007, 09:24 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Uber-Busy Mom to 3 Boys!
Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: NE Raleigh, NC
Posts: 11,856
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Lisa - that is so horrible. There is no way to get ANy of that money back? That is just so horrible of a person to do to someone else (her to you)... I am so sorry. Grrr.. this is why I hate most people!
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My Blog -
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The ups & downs of having 3 small boys and DH who acts like a 4th! | |
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09-17-2007, 09:28 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Member since Aug. 2003
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Southern IN
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BayGirl  Lisa - that is so horrible. There is no way to get ANy of that money back? That is just so horrible of a person to do to someone else (her to you)... I am so sorry. Grrr.. this is why I hate most people! | You should never pay for airline tickets for a potential Birth mother. There is too much of a chance that they can change the ticket out. Either for cash or for their own vacation.
In most states that PBM does not have to pay expenses back if they choice to parent.
But you can claim a failed adoption on your taxes and get a lot if not all of the money back that way.
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Amy (31) SAHM &
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09-17-2007, 10:28 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Blessed mama!
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Chicago, IL, USA
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Wow, Lisa I'm so sorry she put you guys through that, especially Destiny! How awful *hugs*
__________________ Brandy(32) DH Dan(32) DS Samuel Sebastian(5) - Adopted from Colombia DD Isabelle Caiyi(4) - Adopted from China
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Hoping for Gastric Bypass by Feb 2009!
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Proud sister of two Purple Heart Iraq vets!
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I support our troops around the world!
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09-17-2007, 12:40 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | found my Pot Of Gold!
Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: East Coast in the USA
Posts: 666
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Hi,
I am mostly a lurker here as we had several failed adoptions (and were out a lot of money) before our current surprise pregnancy.
My heart breaks with you, I know your pain. Aside from the heart break of the adoption falling through...to me it is like she took money not just from you, but the children she birthed. I think that is selfish...so selfish...that is money what would have stayed with YOUR children for thier needs (including a baby sister/brother)
I hope that with time your family will grow and your heart will heal.
Elizabeth 
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12-5-07 Andrew
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09-17-2007, 04:33 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Not letting this hold me
Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: tx
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that is very sad to hear i hope u will soon have better days because that feeling is like u had a mc and no one shoud feel that i hope u get what u want and u dont go thur any more pain. ur family will only grow closer and stonger because of the bad thing so good luck and lots of good karma. | |
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09-17-2007, 04:43 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Mama to 2 Babies !
Join Date: Sep 2001
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Aaaww Lisa I am so sorry your experiences with her have not been the greatest...she is very unpredictable
I hope things get better for you and your family now...and when you are ready we would love to see updates on the kids 
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~*~ Everything happens for a reason ~*~ | |
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09-17-2007, 06:54 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| | Living Strong
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Sweet Land of Liberty
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Lisa, I am so sorry you have gone through this heartbreak. I am sure there are no words to describe your angry and sadness. I pray that soon you feel peace in your life and another child will be brought to you if that is your desire.
Cynthia
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If you are going through hell, keep going.
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09-17-2007, 07:17 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 574
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Oh No!
I am so sad for you and all three of the kids. | |
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09-17-2007, 09:06 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| | Disney Lovin' Cysta!
Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Grand ole USA
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Aw sweetheart I am so sorry she put you through this, especially your 2 sweet little ones. Hugs to you...give me a shout if you need to cry it out! (((HUGS)))
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Happily married for 19 years & mommy to 3 beautiful daughters
~12.5 year old (born preemie @ 24 weeks), 5 year old & 3 year old (both born in China!)~
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09-19-2007, 12:51 PM
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#14 (permalink)
| | DS makes me so proud!
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Forney, TX, USA
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Hugs Lisa! I am so sorry your family has to be put through this pain of loss.
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09-21-2007, 10:19 AM
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#15 (permalink)
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im so sorry
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