meggowiggle

I don't blame myself for my PCOS. After all, I did not cause myself to have PCOS... it just developed. I also don't believe my PCOS came directly from anything I did, but I do think it makes sense that I should have it. Why? It is very difficult to explain.

I believe in God, and I believe that God often allows obstacles to interfere with our most passionate dreams for ourselves. Why? to test, strengthen, and sometimes redirect us. My lifelong dream was to be a mom. As a child it seemed so simple, such a "given". As a teen I could think of nothing but motherhood. I married and was anxiously anticipating embarking on the biggest adventure of my life, only to find out that I couldn't. I was angry, yes, but... it made sense. Taking into consideration the theme of my deepest darkest sins, and my deepest desire to be a mom... it makes sense, at least to me, that I should not have motherhood, at least not without a lot of pain, tears, faith, growth, ups and downs. I don't hate my disease. Although it is emotionally painful and frustrating, and my self-image is constantly tested... I revel in it. It is causing me to stretch myself to places I have not considered... without this disease I would be so much less than what I am. Does that make sense?

How do you view your PCOS in light of your faith?

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