I was going to post a rant - but my foggy mind told me to come here instead. So maybe instead of a rant I need prayers.
This centers around my BIL. He married my sister when she was 19 - I was 6. They had dated for several years before that, and he lived accross the street from us until I was 3. So he's actually more like a brother to me than a BIL.
First some background. I got married 4 years ago to a wonderful man, who has always treated me good. We didn't meet in a conventional way - we met over the internet. But we did not "date" over the internet. We met in person a few weekends before school was out. Then over the summer I moved to Cincinnati to work, lived w/my cousin and DH & I dated. My family did have a problem w/meeting over the internet, but they also had a problem b/c he is black.
After meeting him a few times and actually giving him a chance, most of my family began to get comfortable w/the idea of a black BIL. 2 years after we met we got married. My brothers and sisters were all at my wedding. My brothers gave me away, and my sisters were bridesmaids. I thought all was well. My best friends told me (years after) during the wedding that my BIL was making snide remarks the whole time and just basically being an a$$. After the wedding my family warmed up to DH more & more - all except BIL who stopped speaking to me. If I said something to him he would reply but that's it. He even tried to keep his kids away from us - his 7-8 yo daughter was accompanying me from his truck to the bleachers at a tractor pull and he felt the need to tell her to make sure she sat with her mom when we got to the bleachers.
Anyway - to my point. This weekend I told my bros & sisters about my pregnancy. I told my oldest sister at the 4th of July celebration in my hometown. She was helping that day, and I didn't know if I'd see her before we went back home on Sunday. She was much more excited for me than I thought she would be. We're not a huggy family, and she stood up congratulated me and gave me a big hug. BIL didn't say anything. We were sitting & waiting for their daughter to perform in the lip-syncing contest, so we're talking due dates, names, who knows, etc. BIL says *nothing.* I turn around to watch a contestant - turn back around to sis - BIL was sayint something to her - I couldn't hear - didn't try to hear. Next thing I know he gets up & walks away - goes to the back of the shelter. His daughter hasn't even performed yet at this point. He *never* came back.
At this point, for this thread, I'm just asking for your prayers. Asking you to warm his heart to the idea of another niece/nephew regardless of race. And asking for prayers to help me deal with this type of behavior. Although the rest of my (immediate & extended) families have accepted us - I know we're bound to face problems in the future with others.
If you've gotten this far - thank you.
If you'd like to post comments, I will also be posting this in the rant forum - I don't want to turn faith & healing into a negative place. TIA
Not that I understand where you are coming from exactly, but I have had similar situation in the past because I was in love with someone almost a decade older then me, and I was really young (teens). I know its hard when family members don't and won't approve.
I will pray that his heart is touched by God, and he will be blind to the skin color of his future niece/nephew. May he have the wonderful blessing of unconditional love. God bless.
__________________ Amber (30) & DH Joshua (28) My Dx:Hypothyroid age 16 Syndrome X including Hypothyroidism, PCOS, High Cholesterol, & Insulin Resistance age 21 Vitamin D Deficiency age 30 My Rx:Synthroid, Lipitor, Yasmin, Vitamin D Supplement, Align
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Please don't let your BIL's behavior hurt you. There are so many things in life we can't control. We can't control other people or their choices, but we CAN control our reaction to them. I know it's hard to take the rejection of a family member, but please remember that you don't need BIL's approval. He may or may not come around, either way you are blessed to have a loving husband, family, and a baby on the way. I wish you all the best, and your family will be in my prayers. God bless!
Family Problems - LONG 
Hi Sun, 
