I dunno wot to do anymore I am so depressed for no apparent reason I can see apart from the fact that I dropped out of college to work volunterly at a nursery school but now all I want to do is stay in bed and never get up I am letting my parents down ……………….. again I’ve also started self harming again which is the only way I manage to get up in the morning
Even thou I am not suicidal I can’t see things getting better I mean like I am applying to go back to college in sep I know I will struggle and get bad graded which will make my parents even more disappointed then they are as my older sis got 3 a’s at a level I am not capable of that
I do things and then change my mind and it makes things so confusing and unsettling I just wish I was normal I wish I had dun all the things my friends at secondary school had dun like work and be able to stay there instead I left and only lasted 4 months at college which is disgraceful
I don’t wanna see a counsellor anymore as I can’t seem to talk about the things that are really bothering me coz to be truthful I don’t know I mean I haven’t had that bad a childhood apart from the fact my mother was a complete ***** to me and my older sis and was akways putting us down by calling us fat *****es. I am ashamed to admit I am si again but remember when I first self harmed I did it for attention but after that I did not want people to know. I have never had a lot of good friends just ones who said they were my friends at the moment I only have 2 really good friends. Things r so messed up I just wish I cud have a normal life I wish I cud look forward to getting up in the morning.
The worst thing is that I wish that people would take me seriously I have taken 4 overdoses and no one took them seriously not even the dr’s my dad had a go at me calling me selfish and saying he had no sympathy for me and my mum acted like nothing happened and well live is messed up
I keep waking up hoping things will be better today like maybe I wud meet some new people but instead I just keep setting myself up for a big disappointment. I read on sc about how woman r married and stuff and I can’t even get a bf I keep thinking wots wrong me am I that ugly have I got that bad a personality and people says it will cum wen u least expect it but that is crap it never happens I never meet any1 all I wanna do is sleep coz at least then I can dream of wot I want life to be like
Soz for my life story
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I taste like beef. I'm probably made of beef. You are what you eat, they say, and if the title didn't mean something else, I would be a beefeater. I think red meat is good for you. Puts hair on your chest. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Depression most often is caused by nothing at all. It's chemical, you don't need to have a horrible life to be depressed! In my case I have absolutly nothing to be depressed about, yet I suffer from depression.
(((((hugs)))))
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PCOS:Metformin 1500mgs daily(Oct/03). Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Type II: Effexor 225 mgs, .5mgs clonazapam, and 900mgs Lithium daily. litebook therapy(Dec/04). Meniere's Disease: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 16mgs Serc and 10-20mgs Metoclop
I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time right now. ((((HUGS)))) I've been where you are and for the most part I'm still there. If you need someone to talk to you can pm me or if you have msn feel free to add me ambermabee@hotmail.com Hope you feel better soon
luv
amber
So sorry to hear this. I hear you loud and clear believe me please, and tie that knot in that rope and just hang on, keep pressing on, it's tough, but you're tougher.
Been having some very rough ones myself-my thoughts are with you. Feel free to pm me anytime One step at a time--or even one minute at a time. ((hug))
the thing is i hgave dun this to my parents b4 made them upset and angry and i don't wanna do it again
plus i have been fighting it for almost a year and i am so emotionally tired i don;t know if i can fight it any more
i am so confuse i don;t wanna go dr's coz i know they will say i am over reacting and theres nothing wrong with me
i don;t know wot to do
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I taste like beef. I'm probably made of beef. You are what you eat, they say, and if the title didn't mean something else, I would be a beefeater. I think red meat is good for you. Puts hair on your chest. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
(((Hugs))) to you . I know you are going through a very hard time right now and I am thinking about you . I went through a really rough depression a couple of years ago and it got to the point that I didn't want to live anymore . I had nothing to be depressed about ,but I felt my life was a mess .I was going through this the same time my friend had her life threatened and her house burned down and she came through it fine . I almost had a nervous breakdown and my husband begged me to see a Dr. . I thought the same thing you did,that the Dr.wouldn't take me serious enough,but you know something ,she sat down with me and talked to me about everything ,she took everything into acount and we went from there.It's been 3 years now and I have NEVER felt better . If you need someone to talk to I am almost always online .Feel free to contact me . I'll check back later to see how you are .
Karen
I'm taking you seriously, and I pray you can just believe in you and take care of you. I know it's hard--these depression feelings! I know.
Please keep posting, we're here for you! If it helps, I've been fighting depression-recurrent since I was 24, I'm 34. Sometimes it takes a while, longer than we'd like, before we see the end of the rainbow Hoping you start to feel better soon, and if there's anything I can to, besides being here for you, please let me know. I care. Keep posting when you feel up to it. I just try to remind myself 'TTSP' ThisToShallPass....whether you've been going through it for a year OR ten years...
(((bighugtoyou)))
i got up this morning feeling a little bit better but like half an hour ago i started crying for no reason i told my mum i was gonna go work this afternoon but i can't i am a mess i'm sore from the si and i am crying and i don't know where to turn i am too scard to tell my family and i don't have a couunsellor and i am sitting here with a knife in front of me wot do i do i am so scared the only reason i am writing here is coz i am scared of wot i might do i can feel myself slipping into th cycle again i will cry and cut and then cry coz i have cut
i don;t understand why no one can see the pain i am in and i feel like i am being ignored my pains not bad enough to warrent some interest
soz to depress every1 i just didn't know where to turn
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I taste like Beef.
I taste like beef. I'm probably made of beef. You are what you eat, they say, and if the title didn't mean something else, I would be a beefeater. I think red meat is good for you. Puts hair on your chest. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Maybe you parents are afraid to see what you are going through.
You must ask for help. I know you are scared, but there are people who care and will help you through this.
Best of luck
__________________ DX: Sept/03 Me 31 & DH 35 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
PCOS:Metformin 1500mgs daily(Oct/03). Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Type II: Effexor 225 mgs, .5mgs clonazapam, and 900mgs Lithium daily. litebook therapy(Dec/04). Meniere's Disease: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 16mgs Serc and 10-20mgs Metoclop
I so feel you !
and i can say i feel that way every day!
Im 36 and dont even have a bf, or ANY friends at that, im so depressed i called my x crying (knowing he dont even care anyway) please know you are not alone, its not your fault and just know you are beautiful.
I try to look at this diease as a blessing in disguise it makes you relize how strong one has to be to be able to deal with all we do. Not many people could!! keep your head up and write all the time, even if you think its nonsence it helps to get it out!
I think you should be honest with your parents and tell them what's going on. Even though they seem not to understand, maybe they will help.
Whether they set it up or you do, you MUST see a psychiatrist soon. Is there a hotline you can call for a referral? I'm thinking that medication will help take the edge off of this for you while you deal with the rest of it.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was suicidal not long ago, and I swear that it does get better eventually. Please keep us updated here - we care, even if it seems that nobody in your real life does.
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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i felt ok this morning but as soon as i knew i sud go to work i got really upset and started crying i also started si coz i cudn;t handle it but i didn;t know wot was making me feel so bad
i felt a bit better this afternoon so i went to the open evening at my local college and i was told basically i am too dumb to do the course i want to do and the worst thing was when he was saying this he wudn;t even look at me which i thought was so rude that made me feel so much worse
i wanna go to the dr but i am scared coz i know they will try and make me stop self harming which i don;t think i can do coz it seems like b4 i do it i get this great big emotion and the only way i can get thru it is to cut and the worse thing is i am not sleeping so it makes me tired which makes em ratty and feel worse i don't think i will get some medication my dr wudn;t give me any he wudn;t even give me sleeping tablets
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I taste like Beef.
I taste like beef. I'm probably made of beef. You are what you eat, they say, and if the title didn't mean something else, I would be a beefeater. I think red meat is good for you. Puts hair on your chest. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I've been thinking about you . Are you ok?
I think you should tell your parents how you are feeling because eventhough they don't understand , at least they will know why you have probably been acting differently . It will also relieve some of the pressure that you have been holding in all this time . Sometimes you just have to let it all out no matter what . It is bad for you to hold all your emotions in . Maybe by telling your parents what is going on ,they will help you find the help you need .
I'm sorry that the person at the college said youwere too dumb to take the class you want to take , that was rude of him . Maybe you can take some other classes that will help you with the one you want to take ,you might also learn even more in that field .
Try to relax and get some sleep , If you need someone to talk to,I'm here
Karen
I just wanted write to tell you to keep your head up. I can only imagine what you must be going through. If you ned to talk my added is raysangel0203@aol.com... I will be praying for you and know that GOD will never put more on us than we can handle! Take care of yourself ok....
fed up with it all 
Hoping you start to feel better soon, and if there's anything I can to, besides being here for you, please let me know. I care. Keep posting when you feel up to it. I just try to remind myself 'TTSP' ThisToShallPass....whether you've been going through it for a year OR ten years...
