I went back to my gyno for my three-month checkup yesterday. He was thrilled to hear that the POPs are working and that I have had no side effects whatsoever.
I asked him about IR and he said that there's certainly no harm in testing for it, especially considering my family history, but that he doesn't want to prescribe Met unless there's a real need for it. He asked if I was interested in Met for help with weight loss, and I said no (which is true...I can lose weight on my own, it's just difficult because I have to eat in a dining hall with few options.) Plus, I'd rather not be on any medications that aren't 100% necessary.
So I was feeling really good about my appointment with him, and I'm going in to have the IR testing done on Monday morning.
Then this morning I got the news that my twenty-year-old cousin had given birth to a baby girl. She got married last April 8 and got pregnant (obviously) soon afterwards. No "trying", just BOOM, just like that.
And her husband posted pictures on Facebook tonight and I spent an hour crying over them and I don't even know why. First of all, it's not like I'm ready for kids yet anyway. I haven't even finished school and it's not like I'd want them immediately after I was done anyway. And I don't even know if I'll have trouble conceiving. I don't know if I have fertility issues. And who knows, maybe I'll be just like her and get pregnant immediately when I decide I want to.
But I guess part of me is scared that I won't be like her. That I'll be like so many of the women I've read about here. And you're all so strong and you all seem like you're just going on and trying again and again, and I admire you all for that, but honest to God, I don't know if I'd be able to do it. I just don't. Do I have the guts to go through all of that if it turns out that I can't just decide to get pregnant and have it happen easily?
And I guess maybe the hardest part is the not knowing. If I knew that, you know, I wasn't able to have kids, then hey, I could start dealing with it. If I knew now that I was going to have trouble conceiving, I could start dealing with that. But right now it's like all I can do is sit here and ponder the "what ifs." I don't like "what ifs."
I'm sorry. This all came out at once and I'm sure I'm not making much sense. I just needed to get this out somehow, and you are the only people who would really understand.
__________________ "Music is moonlight in the dreary night of life."
-- Jean Paul Richter
"Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy. Music is the electrical soil in which the spirit lives, thinks and invents."
-- Beethoven
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I completely understand. We've decided to conceive next year and I'm so scared that I'm going to have problems and that maybe I waited too late. I'm 31 but if I am one of the one's that have problems, it'll be longer. I wanted to be sure I was stable financially before conceiving. You're not scared by yourself. I'm right there with you. I have started to chart this month and the way my temps are all over the place, I don't think I'm ovulating. So I'm exercising to lose weight to see if that helps. I have 2 years to get it right.
__________________ Diagnosed 10+ yrs ago; Weight always a struggle
Began ortho tricyclen & spiro
Blood clot 2/03; blood thinner for a year; left me with thrombophlebitis
Healthy eater & active; No meds since 9/07
Currently: Multivitamin (GNC);Coral Calcium (for IBS); Super B Complex; Flaxseed Oil 1000/day, Baby Aspirin
A FitCysters Addict! Down 40! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I see he doesn't want to start you on Metformin, but have you checked the posts on cinnamon and vinegar? I'm on cinnamon as well as Metformin for my IR. Someones IR tests are wrong and you have it, but it doesn't show up on a test. See here:
The fact is many women wonder if they will be able to get pregnant. Some on the Mommy Board decided to adopt instead of going through fertility treatments. Some are foster parents, some foster to adopt.
There are a ton of articles to read on what has worked for different cysters, and the fact is our periods regulate as we age. Many cysters found that after problems in their 20s, they were fertile in their 30s. So, even if you have problems in your 20s, it won't mean you will def. always be infertile.
I know it's easier said than done, but don't stress about it now. However, do take steps to get as healthy as you can. Eat right, keep up your activity level, reduce stress and avoid harmful habits. Believe it or not that can go a long way toward helping some PCOS symptoms.
Feeling a bit down.... 
