DH and I have been trying despirately to have a child... I have just done 5 rounds of clomid... Been through a HSG and a biopsy (all clear for both)... It's all taking it's toll on me... I have gotten crash and burn days in the past, but they seem not to happen as much, but today I had one and it's not even the week before AF is to show up (that's generally when they always showed up before)
So tonight we were BD'ing and things didn't finish (trying to stay on a schedule by every other day as I have no clue when I ovulate - I gave up on OPK's - I know that it can ruin a mood as it isn't natural, it's more mechanical)... We both got upset at each other and screamed and yelled at each other and ended up crying... At least we have both appologized..
It all just seems so overwhelming at the moment and I am so despirate to have a child... I am seeing a therapist, I actually go tomorrow night... So I guess I will be talking things over with him...
Sorry I just needed to vent a little...
Thanks for listening/reading... I really needed a shoulder...
__________________ Me: 34 H: 34
DD: Rachel - Born March 6th, 2007
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It some how makes us feel a bit better to get it out. I have been feeling very similiar. I haven't even returned any phone calls to my mom or close friends. Hang in there ... things will look up.
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I'm so sorry and I completely understand how you feel. This whole process is SO stressful. *hugs* Everything *will* work out in the end. I'm glad you and your DH made up, and that you're talking to your therapist. Keep trying, and hang in there!
Thanks for the support... I knew coming here would be helpful as lots of people here have gone through what I am going thorugh... I love it here and glad I have found this site...
My therapist and I have been over and over this a number of times and he seems very supportive and tries to give me things to think about and try and not let it get to me... Of course some of the times it works and some of the times it doesn't, I just go all out and don't even think before I speak... My therapist keeps telling me "say what you mean and mean what say" and that is always going through my head, but tonight I know we both went a little further than we should have with the argument/fight...
I know I shouldn't think to hard that this be the cycle I get a BFP, but I am really hoping it is... I really want it to happen and I'll be glad when I do, because at least this stress will be over with... I really want one child right now... I used to want more before I knew I had PCOS, but right now I'll be happy with just one and my DH is the same... My therapist keeps reassuring me that I will love the child so much when it comes and the child will have no doubt that it is loved, because it was loved long before it was born and not an accident...
Thanks again for the shoulders...
__________________ Me: 34 H: 34
DD: Rachel - Born March 6th, 2007
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Hi ladies,
I have been off the site for awhile because I feel so depressed about this TTC journey. It has only been since Oct. and already I am stressed. I was really excited first month coming off BCP I ovulated when I was suppose to and of course it was a BFN. Then the next month I ovulated so late, I doubt anything will happen. I'm going to try for a couple more months then go to the doctor. Sometimes though I get on the site and I get more depressed reading everyone elses bad news or reading their signatures with how long it took them to get pg. I am 35!! If I was ten years younger shoot even five years younger I woudn't be stressing out as much. I am also getting so sick of those OPK!! I know you ladies know how I feel. I just feel like why me? So many people out there have never charted an ovulation and have gotten pregnant so easy. Then I am so tired of people saying, oh lose weight before you try and get pregant it will help you to get pregnant. Yet there are tons of women who don't have pcos and are over weight and get pregnant so easy, it just isn't fair.
I read what you ladies wrote and I don't even know what to tell you to make you guys feel better since I feel so bad. Just wanted to say thanks for listening because I really needed to vent. Please know that you are not alone in this journey of TTC.
Feeling down (vent) 
