dom_is_gone

I was wondering if anyone else have a hard time feeling feminine? I mean, I honestly do not feel feminine most days. I don't know what it is... but I feel so uck. Always. I don't think there is one day that goes by that I look in the mirror and I'm like, 'Wow, look at that girl! It's me! I'm BEAUTIFUL!'. I know, you can say it's self esteem. But I don't look at myself and say, ugh, I'm fat. Although I know it, I've accepted that. But genearlly I feel okay about myself. Except that. Because I don't feel feminine, I don't feel like I look good.

Just wondering...

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Invited: 205 'families'=roughly 400 people
Responded Coming: 70
Responded Not Coming: 2

SarahMichelle1210

Way too many times. It just seems that there is always something wrong.

Sometimes when I get consumed with the negatives, I try my hardest to think about good things. I even have a list in my top dresser drawer with positive things about myself and in my life. I add to it whenever I discover something wonderful. And it might sound silly, but it helps!

I'm with you girl, hang in there

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sara_kh

ur not alone in this .. i dread waking up in morning going to bathroom and then when i see myself..I try to think its just pcos i shouldnt let it bother me this much..but one look into mirror and i burst into tears.. I dont crave to be one of the prettiest girls but I just wish to b normal like any other girl..
I sure can feel wht ur going through and i guess all of us cysters can relate to it

*hugssss*

SunsetMuse

Hi, I feel like that a lot. When I get really bad I dress up even if I have no where to go. I am overweight by a lot and don't like to dress up much but when I do even the process just makes me feel more fem. Even if it's just nice jeans and a nice blouse, take some extra time to put on a little makeup, or you can go get a pedi for the flip flop season, a manicure. get your hair done, or if it helps maybe have a girls night with some friends and make it a make over night or something silly. It takes time...and I def. understand. HTH! GL

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Kelly
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Sarrah

Its hard to feel good being overweight isnt' it.

I thank God for the met, without that I think i would still be overweight especially around the stomach.

I would reccommend anyone hesitating to try the met Try the XR version, have during after dinner. simply.

MrsM

Did you see Marissa on Dancing With the Stars? She was glamorous, beautiful, and not tiny. I think she is absolutely beautiful. Why? That smile!! Dom, you are a bride to be? You ARE beautiful!!! That guy loves you. SMILE! You'll see it too.

dom_is_gone

I don't watch dancing with the stars.


It's just hard. With my stomach the way it is. I never feel sexy. And like someone else mentioned, I don't want to be the hottest girl in the world, I would love to have normal curves though, where my stomach doesn't consume my entire being.

I would love to get dressed, look in the mirror, and just see what I was before the PCOS.

I DO think it is PCOS. Without this disease, would my stomach be so much bigger than everything else?

Being a bride is even worst. Have you been to bridal shows? Do you see what majority of brides look like? They are so pretty! And then there comes me.... SIGH.

I hate it. I just want to feel like a girl.

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Invited: 205 'families'=roughly 400 people
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Responded Not Coming: 2

heartincart

dom_is_gone : I just had to chime in, assuming that is you in the picture, you shouldn't feel this way at all! You look very pretty to me, and I'm sure once you find the perfect gown, and do some other special things for yourself (like a mani and pedi, new makeup, new hair whatever you want) you will feel great

J-Ro

I know what you mean, just remember femininity is more than physical beauty.

That being said, after my PCOS diagnosis last year, I kind of let myself go (wearing less makeup, not fixing my hair, never dressing up, not taking care of myself). So I did start trying to keep up with that stuff again, and I do feel better! Another thing that makes me feel more feminine is treating myself well, i.e. getting a massage, taking a hot bath, buying clothes that fit as well as possible (I, too, have the dreaded PCOS belly!), wearing body lotion or perfume, etc. And it may sound silly, but the more I treat my DH like a man, the more I feel like a woman! Hang in there!

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metsgirl

Yep... I always wonder about that too... whether I was the only one who felt like a blob sometimes. I feel like a tomboy 95% of the time. I felt feminine on my wedding day/night... but outside of that, it's rare. It's hard not to wonder sometimes what my DH sees in me that makes me appealing as a woman. Like the others said... you're not alone!! To be honest though, I'm so glad you asked so that I know now I'm not alone in those feelings. And yeah... wedding dress shopping can be so heartbreaking. Especially when you find that perfect dress that fits one day (and i still love my sister to death for telling me that the size didn't matter), and then when you go in for your first fitting and they have to let it out and aren't sure they can let it out enough. I was SO humiliated. Thankfully, I was able to lose weight before the day so the dress fit like a dream (a let out dream... but a dream nonetheless)... but man, I was in tears that day in the dressing room. Yet another day of wondering what my man saw in me. It'll all work out, you'll see... your day will be wonderful!

Somewhat Damaged

I don't think it's just being overweight, though. For myself, and probably many others, I just don't feel feminine. I absolutely laugh at my husband if he uses the word 'sexy' to describe me because I don't feel that way, and haven't for a long time.

Maybe it has to do with the overabundance of testosterone.

joyblack

I agree. I don't feel feminine. I'm not actually overweight. But I'm extremely hairy and have to shave my moustache and chin area every day. I'm also flat-chested. Nothing feminine there at all. And yes, I've very high testosterone levels and low estrogen levels.

But though I'm not feminine I do have children. And I'm very strongly heterosexual. And I have a really great physical relationship with DH.

I regard myself as very definitely female but not feminine. And though I would never have chosen to be this way, it's actually been a combination of characteristics that has worked very well for DH and I. He actually likes having a wife with somewhat masculine features. It's been a positive contributory factor to our physical relationship.

Blue Eyed Enchantress

I am overweight by 120 pounds and I know how hard it is to feel feminine, let alone pretty. Some things that help me....freshly shaved legs (although they can be hard to reach!); yummy lotions (one of my faves is the Kiran Forest fragrance from Gilden Tree)....massage it into your feet and feel amazing! Also, wearing flowy clothes, like widelegged slacks, helps me. And very soft fabrics, that beg to be touched. My dh likes it when I wear micro fibre, or satin, or chenille...anything very sensual. Also....learning HOW to wear and apply makeup, including lashes....they add some glamour! When the budget allows, getting a massage or having my hair styled. Those are just some of the things....maybe some of them will help you too!

brooklynn9

I never feel feminine. I am always wearing bigger shirts to try and cover up the roundness that is my waistline.

My Husband always tells me he loves me the way I am but I always think about my weight.

One day at a time is how im trying to cope now with the continous fight to lose weight...

Miss Melissa

I always feel like the "most unfeminine" woman in the world. Between the facial hair, thinning hair, obesity, skin tabs, etc...well let's just say that mirrors are not my friend. Probably folks would think I was a man if not for my large breasts. At least that's what I think anyways.