feeling low

lara_not_croft · 11-30-2007, 10:28 AM

I've not posted before and am not sure if I am posting in the right place or really want I want out of this post. I think, more than anything, I just needed to get it out so I hope that's ok.

A few weeks before my wedding, following an internal ultrasound, I was diagnosed with borderline PCOS, was told to simply lose as much weight as possible and was sent away with no medication and no further tests. My specialist also said that they don't normally do any kind of fertility testing until after a year of 'active' trying to conceive.

Anyway, anyone who knows me well will know how much of a child lover I am so it was really hard to be diagnosed with something that has the possibility of causing fertility problems. In fact, I've wanted a child so desperately since I was about 17 so this feeling has been with me for 13 or so years.

My periods are semi regular (had 5 in a row, missed 2, had one beg Nov) so is hard to know whether I am likely to encounter fertility problems but we've been trying since March and nothing yet - this, I know, isn't unusual especially since I only came off the pill in March.

On Tuesday night I went round to see a very close friend who has just had a beautiful baby girl and, honestly, I couldn't be happier for her and her husband .. but I got home after having spent several hours there and just cried and cried for about 2 hours, just thinking about how much I wished it was me and how I wished I at least knew if I was going to have problems.

Do you think it's unreasonable for me to ask my specialist to do the fertility testing when I go back to see him in early January? I know he might say no but I think I want to at least ask. As I said, I don't know what I expect from this post but just had to get it out as it's really, really upsetting me.

Also, what I am worrying about is that I was told that every month I don't have a period I have to do a pregnancy test .. this is so hard for me because I want it to say 'positive' so badly and there is a chance that, every time, it is going to be the opposite. I am due on my period in the next few days which is why this has come to mind.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

Jezkah · 11-30-2007, 03:40 PM

Hi Lara. I sympathize with how you're feeling. I am not sure if I want kids or not, but it was still painful to hear that I have a reduced chance of having them. I can only imagine how a true kid lover must feel. I think your specialist should do whatever it takes to answer your questions. Good luck.

seats · 11-30-2007, 04:07 PM

hi lara,

i kind of know how you are feeling. i have always wanted kids. and i have always had a deep down feeling that i wasnt going to be able to have any. first of all are you charting. charting will help you out alittle. i try to chart. i might not temp as i should but it does help. as for asking your doctor. it never hurts to ask.

wolfie1122 · 12-01-2007, 01:36 AM

Hi Lara,
I know how you feel but don't loose your hope. Look at me, I been trying to get pregnant for 7 years, I finally got pregnant last year and I had a miscarriage in february...but you know what? My husband and I don't let it go, we are doing treatments to get better and have a healthy baby.... think about it, there is plenty doctors out there who can help you shall you have a problem conceiving. Good luck!
Lucrecia