Feeling low

thirza · 07-12-2003, 11:43 AM

When I was 18 I got a job in a bar. The manager was telling me about the other staff and mentioned "Sandy". He said she wasn't a great worker but they liked to have one attractive girl behind the bar so they kept her on. I knew I wasn't pretty but it hurt anyway.

Lately though (22 years later) I feel like the most repulsive creature on the face of the earth.

I'm fat, hairy, spotty, the hair on my head is falling out and apparently I'm developing a hump. Being under five foot really adds to the total package. I have pain, numbness and tingling in my muscles and joints, which I gather from this site is a common symptom.

I have never found a sympathetic Doctor, and now I wonder about the quality of the rest of my life. I just don't know what to do next.

Sorry for all the self pity, I just wanted to get it all off my chest.

Lendi · 07-13-2003, 02:33 PM

Hey there. I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I know you said that you haven't found a sympathetic Dr., but have you had test ran. Sounds like your testerone level may be too high. Keep looking for a good Dr. They are there, just hard to find sometimes. Have you seen an endocrinologist? They are the ones who check hormones. Also, try some self talk. Write down the good things about yourself. I know there are some. It's just easy to overlook them. About, being under 5'. I understand what you're saying. I'm 4'8" and it really makes life difficult! I'm struggling with my weight right now. Sad thing is, even at 120 lbs, I still am chubby. Now, I'm not even close to 120 lbs so the word chubby is probably not even accurate anymore and it was not pleasant looking for a dress yesterday. Hang in there. Keep looking for the right Dr., one that will work with you. Lendi

Ms_Peaches_01 · 07-13-2003, 10:08 PM

Hi Thirza
((((((((( Hugs )))))))))

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. We all go through periods in our lives when we reflect on bad experiences from the past. Initially these revelations make us angry, but gradually you will begin feeling like you really deserve to be happy because of all of the suffering that you've endured.

We do live in a weight driven world that is not kind to overweight women. I weigh 200lbs and am 5 feet tall so I understand. Please don't speak of yourself as fat, hairy, and spotty, and never question the quality of your life. You have a God given right to be happy and to walk the earth with as much dignity as the next person. You do have a significant place in the world and your life is worth living no matter what's going on in it.

You may not feel good now, but you will get well. Just demand the respect and consideration that you deserve from the medical community. Also, do as much research on PCOS as you possibly can to empower yourself when you speak with these people. Unfortunately, we have to sort of advocate for ourselves since our condition is very misunderstood and doctors tend to oversimplify it. Lendi is right, an endocrinologist is probably the best option for effective treament.

Sorry for the long response. Just don't give up on yourself.