Hi everyone
well ive been ttc for 8 yrs and am very overweight. Last yr i lost 3 st but put it all on again since christmas as i hurt my back and cant exercise.l still have a bad back and suffer with that. Ive been at collage for 4 yrs as i decided if i cant have children i should try and live my life and pursue a career. I got my Degree with honours last week and have gone into a depression since as no one will employ me. i have applied to many jobs ie clerical position ect however they are interested in my cv but when they call me in for interview and see me they are not interested. recently i even applied for a community scheme where they dont have to pay you it would just be for experience but they sent me a letter to say i was unsuccessful. I really believe its because im so overweight that no one wants to employ me . Ive been really depressed and feel worthless not only am i infertile but now im jobless with no future. I feel awful. Could be doing with some encouragement.
irishgal
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age 26
313lbs weight
ttc 8 yrs
taking a herbal mix prepared by herbalist for the last 6 mts.
taking multivit and siberian ginsing and glucosimine and chromium
Congratulations on your graduation. That is something for you to be very proud about! I'm sorry life is kicking you right now. It must be difficult to have worked so hard without receiving the reward. It will happen, though. It may just take some time. Turn yourself towards becoming healthy, smile, hold your head up, have a self-confident attitude. Those are the things that win an interview. Weight can be an obstacle sometimes, but it is not a total roadblock. Keep up the hard work and it will pay off.
__________________ It's ok to cry if you're sad. Tears are God's little safety valve.
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I hope that you aren't letting the rejections that you've gotten ruin your self-esteem. Remember that you are worthy, employable, and lovable. Employers don't have the right to discriminate against you because of your weight. Keep trying and take Lendi's advice.. smile and keep your head up. If you feel seriously that someone has discriminated against you because of your weight, you may want to speak with an attorney.
You have definitely come to the right place for support. Don't measure yourself by your ability to produce children. Even though that's something that you really want, your life is much bigger than that.
Wake up every day and say "I love myself unconditionally". You deserve all the happiness that's coming to you.
__________________ Hyponidd
Vitex
Last edited by Ms_Peaches_01; 06-28-2003 at 09:26 PM.
Irishgal,
I want to give you a big {{Hug!}} and say that no matter what the world does to hurt you, that your cysters will be here to listen to you and wish you well. Sometimes, you have to look deep inside yourself and find the confidence you need, wear it on the outside, and people will start giving you the respect that you deserve.
Is it possible for you to change your treatment, because you might need different therapy to get your body's chemistry straightened out. To lose weight, control symptoms, come out of a depression, etc., some of us need Metformin. It has made a huge difference in my moods as it has reduced my insulin level, so I would recommend thinking about that kind of change.
Please be proud of the things that you have accomplished in your life and what a great person you are. Tell those interviewers that they'll miss out if they let you get away!
We're cheering for you,
Sheri
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
Irishgal,
I have also felt very rejected at times because of my weight. I felt like people did not take me serious in any way shape or form just because of the way I looked. In fact for two years I was in a deep and suicidal depression...I never thought that I would get past that. But ever so slowly I found many ways to see the beauty I had on the inside as well as on the outside. I began to try and compliment my best features. I started having manicures and pedicures done, I started to do volunteer work, i read books that made me happy....I began to allow myself to feel like a part of the world despite the fact that I felt so bad, I told myself that I deserve to be happy just as much as the next person regardless of the dissappointments that I have been handed. So, here I am now, working towards getting well, working at a pretty good place, taking college classes and having a relationship despite the fact that I may not ever have children, and despite the fact I am 5'2 and weigh 205 pounds. I still have my moments, and I know that it could all fall apart tomarrow, but I know now that i deserve to be happy and if it does all fall apart tomarrow, I will be able to pick up the pieces and put them together again.....slowly but surely
First of all, I understand how much being overweight can affect your self esteem, self worth, so on and so forth, and I know that PCOS only makes everything feel worse - but I firmly believe that, whatever size you are, or whatever battles you're fighting, whether inside or outside of your body, you have to accept yourself and be willing to support yourself. That is, you have to be able to say, "I deserve the best," and mean it. Being humble is all well and good, but believing in yourself and your worth is also necessary for your own happiness and emotional well being.
Anyone who is willing to judge or discriminate against you for your size, your appearance, your gender, or whatever other ridiculous things they may find to pick about, is not worth even associating with. If your credentials come second to your weight, then you deserve a better employer - because if they are not fair in hiring, they are probably not going to be fair in other aspects of the job, either.
Weight is a ridiculous thing to worry about, speaking strictly in numbers - some of us will always be larger than our more slightly built sisters no matter how good of physical condition we are in. What matters is how it is affecting your health, and what measures will make your health better. I personally have rarely lost weight from bettering my physical condition, but being in fine shape and having proper nutrition will make your life loads better if you just allow it to - in order to do that you can't stress about the numbers, though. You have to be in it for the fitness, or you'll get discouraged - you have to be willing to accept YOU, whether you get much smaller or not.
When you are able to do that your confidence shows, and people see you differently, even if you're still wearing the same body in the same size as ever. It is absolutely, 100% true, that your perception of yourself alters how others perceive you - and if someone still insists upon judging you by narrow standards, they are not worth bothering with; they're just one more - less favourable, admittedly - aspect of diversity.
I know this is easier said than done, and I'm sorry if I made it sound trivial. I've not yet been in a position where trying to conceive would be wise at all, so I cannot fully understand that aspect of your depression (although I am dreading it utterly.. infertility has been a fear of mine since around puberty), but let me say that I'm ENVIOUS of your education, and you should be proud proud PROUD of your academic accomplishments! Many qualified, brilliant, and visionary people have had problems with getting employment, being taken seriously, gaining respect and credibility, etc., but history has proven that those problems resulted from the faults of others, who refused to set aside or do away with foolishly bias views. Perhaps that's a little dramatic, but I believe it's true nonetheless; while you may need to make changes for your own health and well being, you should do it for THOSE reasons and not because you feel you need to conform to society or alter yourself for the sake of getting a job.
Just my two.. or maybe two hundred? two thousand? cents. All the best to you, and good luck in your pursuits - you do have a future, and, while others can make it more difficult to get what you want, nobody can prevent it entirely except for yourself.
- Julia (who's gotten past her self destructive depression and is slowly overcoming a life-long tendency toward anxiety, regardless of the evil beasts who've tried to stop her from doing so)
You're one SMART cookie!!!! Did you know....after graduation it can take up to a year before you may find a job? That's nothing out of the ordinary....but it can get frustrating!!!!
Don't let the job hunting get you down...and remember when you go into to be very CONFIDENT and hold your shoulders back!!! Go in with a "my sh!t doesn't stink" attitude!!!!
feeling really down. can anyone advise 
I've not yet been in a position where trying to conceive would be wise at all, so I cannot fully understand that aspect of your depression (although I am dreading it utterly.. infertility has been a fear of mine since around puberty), but let me say that I'm ENVIOUS of your education, and you should be proud proud PROUD of your academic accomplishments! Many qualified, brilliant, and visionary people have had problems with getting employment, being taken seriously, gaining respect and credibility, etc., but history has proven that those problems resulted from the faults of others, who refused to set aside or do away with foolishly bias views. Perhaps that's a little dramatic, but I believe it's true nonetheless; while you may need to make changes for your own health and well being, you should do it for THOSE reasons and not because you feel you need to conform to society or alter yourself for the sake of getting a job.
