my dad passed away in jauary , since then i have been feeling very down i thought i was coping fine but i havent some days i dont even want to get up i keep shouting at my family
i dont sleep much at night it takes me ages to go asleep
saw a doctor today he wasnt helpful i told him how depressed i was all he did was to give me a number to ring
Dee I am sorry! I don't know what you wanted from your doctor exactly was it meds? Or another DR to talk to ect? But my thing is if you didn't get the help you need go to another DR! GO GO GO! Don't let this stop you OK! Good luck
Molly
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sorry should of said i asked him if there was a counselor i could talk to and was told they didnt have them at my doctors any as they no longer had the money to afford them
i just want to feel better i hate feeling low and crying every time i think of my dad
i feel so bad when i have ago at my brother
i am worried if i go on meds i will get hooked on them
dee2002 I'm really sorry you have been feeling so sad.
I am sure when my dad passes I will be like you are.
I wanted to let you know to tell your doctor you are concerned about getting addicted. That way they shouldn't keep renewing the script until you are addicted.
Most doctors appreciate a patient not wanting to be addicted to a medication, especially when a lot of their patients insist on having meds. until they are addicted!
Do look for a new doctor. there are places on the forums to find doctors in your area. We're 40,000 strong now and some one will be able to help.
Grief is supposed to go through a series of steps. I know there is sadness, and anger and acceptance, but I'm not sure of the others or what order people "normally" go through it. I know I have felt similar feelings when I've had to say good-bye to friends.
With help and your cysters you'll be able to get through this... Don't forget to come back often... Fuzzy Bear
I went through the same thing when my mom passed away. You think you are doing OK, but you realize that in fact, you aren't. Unfortunately, grieving is a process -- a long and arduous process -- with no shortcuts. If you try to deny your feelings, they will come up and knock you on your a$$ when you least expect it. There's no way to get around the grieving process, you have to allow yourself to go through it. You have to allow yourself to feel the emotions and you can't beat yourself up for them. It's healthy and necessary.
When I was going through it, I started seeing a therapist, but she wouldn't prescribe me meds as she called it 'situational depression'. I never did go on meds, but found comfort instead from reading books about grief and beginning to understand the various stages of the process. I also journaled and was able to maintain a connection to my mom through writing. It helps to honor the person who passed away by talking about them, remembering them with joy and continuing to keep them as part of you. Perhaps you will need meds, but I just wanted to share my experience with you so you know it's possible to get through it w/out meds.
My mom was my best friend, and I was 28 when she passed (she was 56). One of the things that gave me comfort was changing my thinking from "poor me" to "how lucky I am to have had such a wonderful woman in my life for as long as I did. I'm blessed". It gave me so much comfort just to flip the switch on how I was thinking about her death. It still gives me comfort, because I know she will always be so much a part of me.
You can't be hard on yourself, you have to allow yourself time to be sad and to heal. I lost my job a few months after my mom passed and luckily was able to take some quiet time to myself. I retreated from the world for a bit - taking the time to let myself be sad, not going out if I didn't feel like it, and just taking quiet time. I did not feel the need to justify my actions to anyone and did what I needed to do. There were WEEKS when I didn't feel like getting out of bed. I went to Europe for over a month. Eventually I started feeling more like myself again and came out on the other side. It took me about 8 months to start getting back to normal. Keeping busy helped once I started to feel better. This is not to say I don't miss my mom everyday, still. All I'm saying is that with time, you will start to feel better. The loss doesn't get easier, you just get used to it.
Read up on the grieving process. It helps to know what to expect. Having a wide range of emotions is normal. Anger, depression, sadness -- this is all part of it. Take comfort in the company of your family - it's a great way to stay connected to the person you lost.
I hope this helps, and hang in there.
- Meta888
__________________ Diagnosed: 1/07 2000mg Met / 100mg Spiro (started Met 2/3/07) Weight loss to date: 26 lbs. Zone Diet, Exercise, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Multivitamins, Calcium supplement, B Complex, positive attitude. "From The Challenges Come The Gifts"
Hi dee2002, I am guessing you are in the UK? When you saw your GP did he take time to listen to you or was it just a case of him handing you a number for someone to call.
It’s only going to be perfectly natural to be depressed especially after just losing your Dad, and I can even understand you wanting to take it out on others, again a natural reaction to losing someone you love.
I can only offer two pieces of advice, one try writing your feelings down, it does help because it’s going to be for you, feel free to write what you wish. The other thing is to try and get an appointment with a counsellor with that number your GP gave you.
Go back to your GP and talk again, if you feel he was not helpful then see another GP in your practice…
You could also contact the Samaritans in the UK, they have a free number or you can use there email service. I have found them helpful in the past.
Thanks every one and a big thankyou to you Meta888
i realy dont want to go on meds all i want is some one to talk to but was told that they dont have any one at my gps and if i want to they can give me a number to see some one but i have to pay and right now i am not working
hardest part for me with my dad is that i was talking to him a week before he passed he was ill in hospital but no one thought he was going to die
even the night before he had his heart attack and stroke he was imoaning lol
he was in his own room as he had a bad yummy but they wanted to put him back on the main ward as he was better
they did this half way in a football match on tv and it was his fav team play lol
he had a good moan at the nurses
Hi Alison
thanks for that and yes i am in the uk
the doctor i saw didnt realy want to listen at all all he said was they didnt have the money for the counsellors any more and i would have to pay for one and gave me a number for one
i will get my mum to phone up the doctors as that wasnt my normal gp she wasnt there
i hate been so mean and snaping at my poor and brother
i think i am still in shock with my dad being gone and its his birthday tomorrow
Dee -- Just so you know - even if you had complete knowledge that your dad was going to pass, when it actually happens, it's still shocking. At the end my mom was at home with hospice, and I was told specifically what was going on and that her body was breaking down and that she was going to die. Yet, when it actually happened I couldn't believe it. Nothing can prepare you for that kind of loss - whether you knew it was going to happen or not.
Birthdays and occasions are always difficult. You're going to be sad. That's allright. Take some time out on his birthday and celebrate his life. It'll make you feel better!
Honestly, go to a bookstore and get yourself some books on grieving. If you are not in a position financially to see a councelor, get yourself some books and a journal. The reading will help. So will having the pages of a journal to get your feelings out. A councelors best therapy tool is to get you to talk - to get you to explore what you are feeling. They help draw it out of you. A journal can accomplish the same goal. You would be surprised what comes out when you start writing. It's very therapeutic!!!!
I wish I could tell you that there is a secret to all of it, or an easy way through it. But there aren't any secrets and there aren't any shortcuts. Just remember, from the challenges come the gifts. Look for the positive things you can learn from this experience. Sounds weird right? But they are there in abundance. It's what got me through.
Hugs!
- Meta888
__________________ Diagnosed: 1/07 2000mg Met / 100mg Spiro (started Met 2/3/07) Weight loss to date: 26 lbs. Zone Diet, Exercise, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Multivitamins, Calcium supplement, B Complex, positive attitude. "From The Challenges Come The Gifts"
Feeling so low 
tell your doctor 
I'm really sorry you have been feeling so sad. 
Fuzzy Bear
