Feeling very conflicted...

Fallchild · 04-17-2007, 05:12 PM

I was born, raised, confirmed as a Catholic. I haven't gone to church in several years, I've taken communion at other churches, and the way Riley was conceived (IUI) is a big no no in the Catholic religion. I guess you can say I've lost my way, but i still hold certain teachings close to my heart. Mainly, I still pray to Mary, beleive that she was born without sin, etc.
DH is methodist, and lately we've been attending a methodist church. we both really like it there and are looking into getting DS baptized there. We've been attending orientation sessions with the intent to join this congregation. Now I understand that once I join I will be considered a Methodist, and I'm not sure if this is the right thing for me. I've asked God for help in making this decision.
I guess what I'm looking for here is to see if anyone here has had the same conflictions? Any advice??

Thanks.

juststartn · 04-17-2007, 05:23 PM

As a convert to the Catholic Church, I STRONGLY suggest that you go and speak with a priest. This is not an issue to be undertaken lightly (and as you have said, you are conflicted...). Really, all you need to do is speak with a priest about your situation. Confession is a wonderful thing...the sacraments are not to be found anywhere else...and to be without the sacraments is no small thing....

Please, contact a priest. Make the time, have a talk...it doesn't have to be anything really big...but you need to get some advice....

God bless you (and that is one precious baby you have...)

Rachel

(PS--you know that the Church does not have a problem with your DS, right? The means of conception, yes...him, no. Feel free to pm me if you want...)

mtm71401 · 04-17-2007, 05:38 PM

I don't think it would hurt to talk to a priest, but you need to do what is best for your relationship with God. I (and this is my personal belief) believe that the different Christian denominations are just a matter of ceremony. I am Church of Christ because I am comfortable with the way worship is conducted. I do not believe it is the only way to worship God.

Jashobeam · 04-17-2007, 05:50 PM

What are this church's requirements for joining? The Methodist churches around here require baptism and saying you are born again, but don't allow infants or toddlers to join church. My Dad and FIL were raised Pentecostal. Mom and MIL were raised Methodist. Once the couples were married they became Baptist. FIL and MIL are now attending a Wesleyan church, but I think they still consider themselves Baptist. I would suggest you talk to the pastor of the Methodist church about your thoughts and feelings. He may be a great help to you.

Ajani · 04-18-2007, 12:07 PM

You will find that outside of the Catholic church, your devotion to Mary will not be shared at all. I can't think of another denomination that believes the things that the Catholics do about her. If praying to her is important to you... important enough that you feel the need to be in a group who share your beliefs about her, then it really would be best to go back to the Catholic faith. They are the only ones who believe in the deity of Mary in any way. Protestant faiths believe that she was a sinner, like us, had more children than just Jesus, died like we do, and can't answer prayer any more than anyone else who is dead can. If you can't reconcile those beliefs to your own, then maybe talking to a priest would be the best thing for you. Or maybe talking to the pastor at your husband's church and asking why they don't believe what the Catholics do about Mary.

Fallchild · 04-18-2007, 01:42 PM

Thank you all for your thoughts...I'm still thinking very hard about this. I've asked God to give me peace about this. I've talked to my husband and my mother. I've also talked to the pastor at the Methodist church. He's VERY excited that I'm having such issue with this. He says that it shows that I'm serious about my faith, which I guess is true. From everything I've learned and read, I haven't been a good Catholic for a long time. And, unfortunately I probably never will be. There are quite a few things about the Catholic religion that I just don't agree with, and you're not supposed to pick and chose which parts you beleive and which parts you don't. But I also realize that no matter what religion I am, if I find something important in my PERSONAL faith, then no one can take that away from me. If I decide to join the Methodist church on Sunday (and I'm still thinking), I can still pray to Mary if I want. They can't tell me not to. This, and many other things are what the Pastor and I talked about yesterday. He and I both agree that for some reason God brought my husband and I to VA, and for some reason he brought us to this church. Beleive me, we went to MANY churches, some catholic, some methodist, and some completely other Christian religions before we found one we BOTH felt comfortable in.

juststartn - Thank you so much for your thoughts. I especially appreciate them, seeing as that you are a recent convert. You probably know more about the faith at this point than I do. It's been so long since I've taken a religion class.

I know that the Church doesn't have a problem with my son. I guess I just can't get past the fact that they don't agree with his conception.

mtm71401 - I agree with you that there is no one way to worship. DH and I are both of the belief that if you believe in God and Jesus, his son, that you are doing pretty good.

Jash - what this church requires is that we attend a couple of orientation sessions with the pastor and then before the congration say our vows that we beleive in God, his son Jesus and that we will remain loyal to the church. And not just the Methodist church, but the Christian religion. I was baptised catholic, and both Methodists and Catholics only recognize one baptism, so I would not need to be baptised again. DS is going to be baptised there Memorial day weekend.

Ajani - I agree, that as a faith Methodists don't pray to Mary the same way Catholics do. I guess I'm just realizing that I always will, no matter what faith I chose.

I'm still praying about this, so please, ,keep your thoughts coming. Sorry this turned out so long!

Jashobeam · 04-18-2007, 05:04 PM

I'm glad you talked to the pastor and are getting some things straight with him. It's important he know what is important to you in order to help shepherd you

Faith0312 · 05-12-2007, 03:27 AM

I was also born and raised Catholic and did not go to church at all really for about 15 years. I finally came back about 5 years ago. I really did not understand or know or accept everything that the church taught at the time until after I was married and my DH was received into the church Easter Vigil 2005. We learned together. (to make a long story short) I have since learned what the church teaches and why and the long history behind it and now I understand it and it makes sense. (I was totally clueless!)

So anyway, I wanted to give you some websites to maybe help you understand what the church teaches and why. (They helped me)

www.catholic.com Lots of articles and apologetics information on the faith.

www.scripturecatholic.com

http://conglomination.com/cg/default.asp When the different denominations were founded

www.biblechristiansociety.com Free mp3 downloads

Also there is a program on EWTN called The Journey Home, on May 28 former Methodists are going to be on the show to share their conversion story or their "Journey Home" to the Catholic Church
http://www.ewtn.com/journeyhome/index.asp

Any questions please ask. Hope this helps.
Whatever your decision I wish you peace and happiness.

StephUk · 05-12-2007, 07:48 AM

This is the thing about religion, it causes such conflict, to yourself and to the world in general.
Ive recently come to the realisation that I cant hold to a religion.
I was really quite dedicated to Jesus for a long time but now, I dont know.
Im a good person, a good member of the community that I live in, I dont drink, smoke or do drugs, Im in a healthy, wholesome marriage, basically I live cleanly and well.
Yet I cant have a child, ten years from beginning to try and I cant get pregnant.
What angers me is religious people saying "when God wants it for you, it will happen".
I want to scream at them "well then God is cruel, why am I less worthy than the drug taking, thieving, let their kids run around the streets day and night, wasters around here that pop kids out like they are sweets?".
I dont believe that any loving and caring 'God' could make me suffer this way and let awful people have easy times.
So Im having trouble believing in any God or religion etc.

melloyello · 05-22-2007, 04:01 PM

Im sorry i dont have any advice for the OP, i hope you find what is best for you.

I just wanted to reply to StephUK and say that i think if you walked in the shoes of those aweful people who are having "easy" times you would find they are equally if not more miserable than you are.
Children is not everything in life, having them or not doesn't define weather you are having an easy life or not or weather you are blessed or not, they are one of many blessings in life, i think its easy for us to get too hung up in having children being the definition of ourselves, when it is isnt, it is a blessing.
The way i believe it, is that children are like wealth, they are a blessing in so many ways, and also a test in so many ways!
I hope that you will be blessed with such a test and find your peace with God.

Janie73 · 05-23-2007, 10:40 PM

We have the reverse problem -- DH was raised Catholic and I was raised in and out of various protestant churches. I am actually very attracted to the Catholic church, but there are certain beliefs and rules that I cannot reconcile myself with. DH would never be comfortable in a fully protestant church, so we're looking at both the Lutheran and Episcopal churches.

If you haven't already considered one of them as a middle ground, it might be worth looking into. Right now, I think that we'll be going to the local Episcopal church; you would find a lot there that is familiar to you abd your husband both.

Good luck with your decision. It's not an easy one!

Mandi_C · 06-12-2007, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StephUk

This is the thing about religion, it causes such conflict, to yourself and to the world in general.
Ive recently come to the realisation that I cant hold to a religion.
I was really quite dedicated to Jesus for a long time but now, I dont know.
Im a good person, a good member of the community that I live in, I dont drink, smoke or do drugs, Im in a healthy, wholesome marriage, basically I live cleanly and well.
Yet I cant have a child, ten years from beginning to try and I cant get pregnant.
What angers me is religious people saying "when God wants it for you, it will happen".
I want to scream at them "well then God is cruel, why am I less worthy than the drug taking, thieving, let their kids run around the streets day and night, wasters around here that pop kids out like they are sweets?".
I dont believe that any loving and caring 'God' could make me suffer this way and let awful people have easy times.
So Im having trouble believing in any God or religion etc.

I very much share your feelings Steph. I'm 23, not married yet, but up until about 2 years ago...from the time I was 16 to 21 I was VERY dedicated to Christ, to my church (a non-denominational Christian church), almost overly dedicated there...was teaching Sunday School almost every week, going to small group every week, just really running around like a mad woman for the church. It was a fairly new plant, and I knew that going in, but I got volunteered for numerous things, and shunned by numerous people for stupid reasons...I was all but ignored because I didn't have my license yet, and had to ride with my best friend...they talked to her and made plans with her, but left me out. ANyways- i was very involved in a HS ministry called Young Life, going to leadership, club, and bible study each week there. Basically Monday was club, Thurs. was small group w/ church, Fri was bible study in AM, leadership in PM, and Sunday was church. I don't know...somewhere along the lines I started to feel like that church wasn't where I was supposed to be, so I left. And 2 years ago I met my boyfriend. He's not a Christian,...pretty much classic story of "good christian girl" falls for "bad sinner boy". I prayed HEAVILY to God before we started even hanging out, let alone talking, that if He didn't want me to be with BF then He needed to lead me away. Well obviously He didn't. So now, 2 years later, BF and I have been through SOO much, and all through it I kept praying/asking/telling God, that if He didn't want something to happen, then He needed to let me know. We bought a trailor last summer, and I asked God before we even looked at it, if He didn't want us to get the trailor, then don't let things go through...if things go through I'm taking it as a sign that He wanted it....well things went through. 3 months later we lost the trailor because we got screwed on the paperwork, etc. Basically to sum things up (and not add much more lenght to this post) I am feeling very slighted by God. I'm also feeling slightly empty without Him really in my life. SO I'm very conflicted myself right now, I feel like God has basically been looking down on my life and laughing at me for the past 2 years (maybe more). I also feel that everything that BF and I have been through has been for a reason. But I'm finding it SO hard to find a reason in it, or even really keep thinking that way when I feel like I don't even have a reason to get up in the morning sometimes.

To the OP- My only advice is basically to just re-state what most of the people have stated, all you can really do is talk with the pastor, and priest and pray...hopefully you'll find an answer

Anonykat · 06-19-2007, 03:31 AM

Just a note of clarification...

Quote:

They are the only ones who believe in the deity of Mary in any way.

Catholics do not believe in the deity of Mary. She is not a god in any way, shape, or form, and no practicing Catholic would claim otherwise. She is highly venerated as the woman who gave birth to God in the flesh and as a great example of humility and obedience. Asking for intercessions from the saints is not the same as claiming they are deities. Just wanted to clear that up.

LK, an Eastern Orthodox Christian who also highly venerates and loves the Mother of God

Fallchild · 06-19-2007, 10:28 AM

Thanks for clearing that up Anonykat...so many people get that wrong.

jesces · 06-19-2007, 03:37 PM

I, too, claim no Religion. I am a Christian, plain and simple. I choose a non-denominational church that is spirit led, and preaches only the word of God, without the million translations that no one could understand. It is leaving the "religions" behind that has drawn me closer to my God, the Lover of my soul, where I have experienced blessings beyond imagine, a closeness like none other, and divine intimacy that one can only have with God. I believe he CAN heal anything you come too, and you should expect him to, unless he Tells you differently....and he will if you be still and listen.
In regards to PCOS, I do not feel God ever casts that diagnoses on anyone. It is simply a by-product of the world we live in now......ladden with sin. I believe he wants to heal each and every one of us in due time. I have seen such amazing healing this year........he is so awesome!
To the original poster......I know nothing about Catholicism, but I hold this scripture dear to my heart....

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Ephesians 5:22-23

He is the one held responsible for spiritual leadership in your home. So long as it doesn't oppose the Holy Word of God.

Blessings to you!
Crystal