The Final Straw - An Intro

so-over-this · 04-12-2009, 02:18 AM

Hi All,

As my name suggests I am well and truly over this whole PCOS drama.

I'm almost 25 and was diagnosed with this curse at 18. It's been a rollercoaster ride for so many years with no end in sight.

Living with this nightmare is a constant struggle, at times I feel so dirty that I'll want to srcub myself raw. Of course this never happens but nonetheless I still feel abnormal and hardly feminine at all.

I've got moderate acne which drives me up the wall (face, chest and back). I've been on Roaccutane once with great results but I won't get back on the drug because I am convinced that something terrible will happen to me the second time around. I have some abnormal hair growth where there shouldn't be hair on a female. The monthly painters turn up whenever they please and I am the proud owner of 11 follicles/cysts on my left ovary and 8 on my right...I should be so lucky?

And then you go and read about all the diseases that we're more likely to get because of this affliction...cancer, diabetes, heart disease...all the top prizes in the disease game. Wow, haven't I hit the jackpot!

Seriously, what is this? Is this one big joke? Not only am I fat, ugly, infertile and totally down in the dumps (thanks chronic depression, you've made my day) but I'm going to die this way?

I'm really over this. I'm spending what are meant to be the best years of my life worrying about a myriad of stupidities that take up a good portion of my time. I wake up every morning and I think 'I wonder what my skin is like today?' or 'Will I fit into the shirt I need to wear for work?' Please, spare me.

I'm lucky in a sense that when I lose weight all the symptoms subside. It's like I'm not allowed to be a little fat.

I'm currently 77kg, 163cm tall. Ok so not obese but definately overweight. It's the biggest I've ever been and I really don't like myself at all.

The ONLY way to fight this is by not listening to what my body wants or craves. Ignoring the sugar cravings and the sedentary musings of my behind. Assessing EVERYTHING that goes into my mouth and forcing myself to get up and exercise. It's like a permanent military camp or being on a lifelong version of The Biggest Loser.

Now that I've established all the things I've got to look forward to, I'd best be on my way.

Thanks for taking the time to read my rant.

Regards,

Kristina

JoyannaWants2BaMommy · 04-12-2009, 09:39 PM

so i read this, you sound just like me love your sense of humor!
how many lbs is 77 kg, i aint no good with math! i feel the same way, i have been having probs since i was 20. right before i got married. i am 5'4" got up to 237 lbs at one point. i did manage to lose some but i am stuck. I stay depressed too, no one understands the hormonal thing + hereditary depression= crazy @$$ b***h!
my poor dh, he has been through so much. i have been dead set on TTC this summer, but i am rethinking now. just so damn depressed.
i got the chin hair and acne and everything too, u r not alone, but i know that doesn't help. it hasn't helped me much b/c everyone i know is 'normal'. as in they don't have a beard. or acne at 28. or taking a bunch of horsepills everyday!
well, don't leave the boards, stick around and soak up all the info. most of what i know about pcos is from this board and the articles and stuff.
c u around!

iriiniite · 04-13-2009, 08:42 AM