Well girls...It was a weekend filled with mixed feelings. On July 4th, dh and I went to the cemetary where Matthew is buried. It finally came in...Matthew has a headstone now. I stood there for what seemed like an eternity just staring at it. Dh had the tears going and in that moment, I realized how this loss has affected him.
DH watered Matthew's patch of grass which has turned to hay because of the sun. And just as i started to begin to cry, another family with two boys came into the Rotunda. They were visiting family members as well. But one little boy was so mischievious. He was running and playing, not knowing what he was surrounded by in the cemetary. He was just having a good time with his balloon, chasing his brother. He looked so much like my husband from pictures of when he was that age. In that moment, I saw my Matthew.
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Our sweet angel, Mohamed Matthew Raymon Illyas,
born and at rest on November 30, 2004.
Lived only 30 precious minutes...(IC at 20 weeks) Forever in our hearts, Together in our dreams.
We now live our life for you. We love you Matthew, our little Angel.
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Hello there Diana...remember me??? I really am sorry your going through this. I am here if ever you want to talk ok???
__________________ (Me) 39 (hubby) 29 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 10 years strong
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10/29/09 +HCG, +digital, beta 43! 2nd beta 115! 3rd beta 253! STICK!!!!!!!! 4th beta 105 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. And whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth."
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((Diana)). I'm glad the headstone's in. I don't know if that helps you move on in the grieving process or not. I'm sure it's beautiful. Is it awful for me to want to see a pic (when/if you're able)?
Maybe Matthew sent that family there to distract you a little, to let you know he's doing okay.
Love,
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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Chula! - Of course I remember you. Hope everything is going well with you and dh!
Viv- I was going to take a picture of it, for Matthew's box. But i forgot my camera. But we plan to take a pic next time we go out that way. So i will post it here.
It's made from a granite called Blue Pearl which has very light blue quartz in it. When the sun hits it a certain way, you can see the blue chips. Unfortunately, this is the same granite that is also used for kitchen counter tops. Can you just picture me breaking down in Home Depot after seeing the same kind of stone as an option for a kitchen counter!
But I am much better now. There is some closure in knowing we were able to give him this monument. But then there are days where i wished we had chosen cremation, cause then I could keep him in our home. This past winter was really bad. Both Dh and I had the same feelings after the first snowfall. Just so many feelings...so little words.
thanks for your never-ending support!
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Our sweet angel, Mohamed Matthew Raymon Illyas,
born and at rest on November 30, 2004.
Lived only 30 precious minutes...(IC at 20 weeks) Forever in our hearts, Together in our dreams.
We now live our life for you. We love you Matthew, our little Angel.
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I really believe in "signs" and that little boy was definitely a sign from Matthew letting you know he is OK.
I think the cemetary is a good choice, this way you have a special place that is just about Matthew. Yes, cremation is more convenient, but you'll always carry a bit of Matthew with you in your heart and have your Memory Box to look through at home.
Carey(31) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Paul(43)
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I'm crying with you, Diana. There's such a finality to that stone. Unfortunately it is one of the only things we can really ever buy for them. I wish this stuff was easier for you and your hubby!! Lots of hugs are coming your way!
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
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Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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I just wanted to say that I am so sorry that you and your hubby had to go through this and I was crying reading what you wrote! Stay strong and May God Bless you and keep you in his care!
so sorry for your loss. I hope this helps with the healing process a little . Hugs to you
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MOMMY TO A BULLDOG
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It was finally delivered... 
I wish this stuff was easier for you and your hubby!! Lots of hugs are coming your way!
