First AF post miscarriage?

Bella Moochie · 03-15-2009, 05:53 PM

As if having a miscarriage isn't enough....I am now totally confused about my own body and my doctor is out on emergency family leave until late April! Beyond frustrating (at my body...not my doctor whom I think is fantastic!) Sorry if below is TMI...or too long!

After nearly 6 years of ttc, I had what is believed to be a blighted ovum @ 5.5 weeks. That was early/mid February. I spotted/bled for nearly 3 weeks. Two days after the spotting absolutely stopped, I took an OPK and it was positive. I re-tested just to make sure with a digital OPK and it too was positive. The next two days it was negative and then the next two days it was positive???? It was then negative for five days and then I started spotting...heavily at times but I would not consider it actual flow. Could that have been my period? It went on for 5 days and then stopped completely. The first two days I had the raging, raging werewolf symptoms (as my husband calls them). That is normal for me. My husband was sitting next to me eating as normal...and I could have ripped his dang lips off...I was so annoyed that I could hear him chewing and he was eating totally normal and it wasn't even crunchy food! This (and many other ridiculous outbursts I had) is what makes me believe that it was actually my period. To make matters even more irritating....I was supposed to start clomid the cycle after I ended up getting pregnant. So, now I have 6 months worth of clomid and don't know if I should go ahead and start taking it now.

So tell me ladies, do you think it is okay to go ahead and start the clomid or will it screw me up even more? I am 37 and it just seems like I am running out of time, especially since it took us 6 years just to have a miscarriage.

I would appreciate any insight!

Thank you so very much!

AnotherDreamer · 03-15-2009, 07:56 PM

I am sorry for your loss (*hugs*)

And ungh, sorry it's so confusing. I really don't know, I would wait until things settle down with your body and you can talk to your doctor... I know the wait can be excruciating, but if your body isn't ready I wouldn't rush it. That's just my opinion though. I hope you get some answers.

Take care.

SheriKCMO · 03-15-2009, 09:15 PM

In your shoes, I'd count the five days as AF and start a chart. If you see a temp increase that stays up, it's probably O, then see if AF shows up again about two weeks after the increase. The reason it was light was possibly the low lining that can happen. We can be really messed up wacko after a pregnancy (even a very brief one) for the next three or four cycles. I think it helps to keep track. I would wait on the clomid until you have a bright red AF, meaning a good lining is building up in there. (((Hugs!)))

Bella Moochie · 03-15-2009, 11:03 PM

I really appreciate both of you taking the time to read my lengthy post and then responding.

I agree with both of you. I am going to hold off on taking clomid until my next cycle that is considered "normal" for me. I have been charting and my temps have been really screwy so I am not quite sure if I can rely on them. They are still running a little higher than normal for me but I am temping. I am a temper with quite a temper...these days! LOL!

I was really leaning more towards not taking the clomid now and it just makes me feel even better about not taking it after your opinions. I know I am being selfish in trying to rush things. I am one of "those" (LOL) type 'A' personalities who need to be in control. It is just BEYOND frustrating to not even be in control of my own body!

Thanks ladies!

AnotherDreamer · 03-15-2009, 11:42 PM

Bella: It's not selfish. Many of us want to try again asap. Infertility really sucks, and knowing how hard it is to get pregnant we often want to try again right away knowing about our issues. But, you have to keep reminding yourself that your body has just went through quite an ordeal, it needs to heal too. I know I had trouble reminding myself that with my first m/c.

Bella Moochie · 03-16-2009, 01:21 AM

AnotherDreamer: You are right! I think I somewhat blame my body for "failing" me as far as the miscarriage goes. Then it REALLY pisses me off that my body is so whacked out that I cannot make heads or tails of what the heck it is doing! I guess I feel like blaming someone for my miscarriage and it is easier to blame my body. I don't know. Just like you said, I need to remember that my body has been through quite a bit. It really has. It's just hard when I know people who seem to be able to just sneeze and get pregnant without even wanting to. If one more person tells me "at least you know you can get pregnant", I am going to slap the crap out of them! I will be fine one minute and then in tears the next. I just want to get back to "normal" so my dh and I can start ttc again!

Thank you for being the voice of reason for me!

AnotherDreamer · 03-16-2009, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bella Moochie

AnotherDreamer: You are right! I think I somewhat blame my body for "failing" me as far as the miscarriage goes. Then it REALLY pisses me off that my body is so whacked out that I cannot make heads or tails of what the heck it is doing! I guess I feel like blaming someone for my miscarriage and it is easier to blame my body. I don't know. Just like you said, I need to remember that my body has been through quite a bit. It really has. It's just hard when I know people who seem to be able to just sneeze and get pregnant without even wanting to. If one more person tells me "at least you know you can get pregnant", I am going to slap the crap out of them! I will be fine one minute and then in tears the next. I just want to get back to "normal" so my dh and I can start ttc again!

Thank you for being the voice of reason for me!

Ahh, I remember that too. I started snapping at people when they said things like that. Especially given our pre-existing fertiity issues. They can't understand it well. They just don't even know. And unfortunately often we have to educate them. And sadly, even though this is my second loss, I am still getting comments like that.

And, the blame... this is my second loss and I feel terribly guilty, like I failed again. But, we have to remind ourselves that it really was out of our hands. We did the best we could, everything we were supposed to. It's hard, but we can get through this. It isn't our fault. (*hugs*)

I know how hard it is, especially right now while it's still fresh. Time will not heal the emotional wounds, but it will get easier. Physically you should be better in a matter of a month to two months, but every person has a different rate of healing.

The shifting hormones... remember that it's okay. You're greiving, plus your hormones are still out of synch from pregnancy. It's like being post partum really. It takes awhile to heal and come back from that. I think most people thought I was being irrational with the first loss, and it really angered me that they couldn't just understand that my baby was dead, my body was crap, and I was in physical pain. The whole situation was rough. Cry when you have to, don't bottle it up. Remember that it's okay to laugh when you want to. Let yourself feel whatever it wants. It will help, trust me.

tcrock02 · 03-17-2009, 12:00 AM

First i would like to say that im sorry for your loss i know that it is so hard to get a BFP only to be faced with a m/c. I am 38 soon to be 39 so i know what u mean about your clock ticking. my clock is ticking so loud i have to hear ear plugs-lol
i am know what u mean about people sneezing and getting pg. makes u wanna scream. i had my 3rd m/c last month and i have no answers why this keeps happening but hopefully on the 30th when i go to the dr he will give me the results of my blood tests and some answers.
know that u are not alone. feel free to rant and rave here so you dont have to scream at the ones you love-lol
take care of yourself. xox

Bella Moochie · 03-17-2009, 04:16 AM

AnotherDreamer - You have an amazing attitude. You sound like the pillar of strength and sound of reason rolled into one! I am sure you too have your down time but your words have really helped me. Thank you. Not many people knew I was pregnant. I only told my parents, best friend and only 2 of my siblings. The family member who is pregnant, and I really don't care for at all, is not aware of my pregnancy and miscarriage because I didn't want to hear her make up disingenuious crap to say to me. It makes it hard because, every time I go shopping with my mom, it's all about finding stuff for the baby. Then I get to hear all about the baby this, the baby that. I am not one to let my family and friends see me breakdown, but holy crap, all this baby talk just sucks! I know she's not doing it to be mean and that she is really excited but it doesn't make it any easier for me to be around it. I know that I should be happy for them but it is hard. The baby shower is coming up and I really don't know how I am going to be able to deal with that one. I know my mom will be a nightmare to deal with and I will have no choice but to go. I worry that the prego one will complain about how hard pregnancy is and I will go off on her. I fear what I might say. She got pregnant in 3 months and *****ed about it taking so long and here I sit 6 YEARS later. Some people are just clueless!

Hugs to you!

Thank you for being so nice to me!

I am sending baby dust and baby sticky dust your way. I will pray for you to have a successful and healthy pregnancy resulting in a healthy baby! (((Hugs!)))

tcrock02 - I am so sorry for your losses. I am so torn up about one and here you have endured three! God Bless you! (((Hugs!))) I cannot help but feel scared about getting pregnant again because I really don't want to go through the emotional rollercoaster that ensues if another miscarriage is to occur. I don't think anyone can prepare you for just how emotionally draining and devastating it is to have a miscarriage. I don't know if it is truly the loss of the pregnancy or the fear of never having a successful pregnancy that hurts even more. But as I re-read that sentence in my head, I truly think that it is the fear of never having a successful pregnancy that haunts me the most. The physical part of my miscarriage was not that bad, but the emotional part is beyond horrible. There is nothing that anyone could have said to convey to me just how bad I would feel.

When you were pregnant, did your doctor have you take a blood test to check your progesterone level? I'm really wondering if I miscarried due to low progesterone. When my doctor sent me for my cd 21 labs (not sure if it was cd 21....they took 6 or 7 tubes of blood), my progesterone was too low and I was told that I had not ovulated. I was really confused because I chart and my chart showed a very clear temp shift. So, I am wondering if I miscarried due to low progesterone. Is it possible that low progesterone could be your problem? Just a thought. Your lab results should give the doctor some idea. I really hope your results are encouraging! Another thing to ponder, I don't know what your history is but I had a transvaginal ultrasound and an HSG. The ultrasound showed nothing while the HSG showed that I had a small fibroid in my uterus. My doctor scheduled me for surgery, a hysteroscopy with resection, and she was surprised to find that I had multiple polyps and a septum in my uterus. No fibroid! The septum was completely blocking my uterus so there was no way I could ever get pregnant with it still in place. (Depending on where septums are located in the uterus, some people can get pregnant and then subsequently miscarry due to the septum.) I just could not believe that neither the ultrasound nor the HSG showed the septum. The surgery is a simple procedure that some doctors even do in their office. You may want to ask your doctor if he/she would be willing to do an exploratory hysteroscopy on you to see if maybe there is something else causing you to miscarry. It really helped me and I truly hope that you are able to find something to help you! (((Hugs!)))

Please let me know how your appointment goes on the 30th! The 30th is my birthday, so it is a lucky day! (Not being arrogant.....just giving a reason why the date is my lucky day and has potential to be a lucky day for you too! I will share it! LOL!)

Best of luck! Sending baby dust and sticky dust your way to! I have added you to my prayer list and I will pray that you have a successful/healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby really soon! (((Hugs!)))

Please don't forget to let me know how it goes on the 30th....of course you can post again sooner to! LOL!

AnotherDreamer · 03-18-2009, 02:15 AM

Bella: (*HUGS*) It is so hard when someone else is pregnant and you m/c. No one in real life is pregnant this time... so I am thankful for that. Last time my best friend, and my little brother's mother were pregnant. It was so hard. I went to my best friend's baby shower one or two months after my miscarriage... but I left before the party games. I knew my limitations. She was very understanding though. I'm sorry you feel obligated into it

Take care of yourself. If it starts to get to hard on you, excuse yourself from the room. Go to the bathroom, or leave completely (You can always make something suddenly come up, if you know what I mean.)

I hope we all get to have healthy babies soon enough.
I am glad I can be of some comfort and help to you hun.
I remember how hard it is.

tcrock02 · 03-18-2009, 10:51 AM

Bella, first thanks for your comments i really appreciate your support. hubby is kinda ignoring the subject these days and my friends dont know what to say so they say nothing. and if i try to talk about it i just cry and then i cant convey what i want to say. online it is less intimidating and i feel that since we all understand what we are feeling it is easier to talk if that makes any sense at all. as for my progesterone i did have it checked at the beginning of my 3rd pg and it was within range so that was not the problem. i have not been checked for fibrods or anything like that and my insurance is soon to be over because i only had medicaid while i was pg. life just doesnt seem fair. since i run a home daycare dh is the only one that can get insurance adn thankfully he is looking for a new job so we can have some. the funny part about that is i have been praying about him lookin buti didnt want to harp on him do it worked out perfectly. i pray he has success he has a great lead but will need some additional training that he is not thrilled about. MEN!! It seems like the 30th will never come. but i think AF is just around the corner cuz i have been cramping for days. i havent been using protection either so that scares me also.
i know u are scared to get pg again and it is hard to decide what to do. but my need to have a child is greater than my fear i guess. my pastors wife had a vision of me and my dh holding a baby. and i am holding tight to that. i dont know when or how but i trust in God to make my dream a reality. i would do whatever the dr told me to do. inject whatever, take whatever. its nuts what we are willing to do to concieve a child dont you think? poke me, prod me, i dont care just do whatever!!!!Thanks for the baby dust i return it to you as well. it would be cool to get pg together!! i will let you know what happens the 30th but feel free to message me anytime i usually check this everyday. (((((HUGS))))