First Loss - Page 2

knighad · 10-06-2009, 09:27 PM

I'm so glad I found this thread. I am having a D&C tomorrow after finding out last week that we have an empty gest sac. No baby. I'm 7w,4d now and I have all the same pg symptoms. I just can't wait to m/c at home. It could still be too long. What I'd really like to do is go on to have this baby and everything be fine. I'm so sorry for everyone going through this.

snfr02chic · 10-06-2009, 09:59 PM

So sorry for the bad news...we know what you are going through. I wish they would have given me a D&C, I had to do it naturally...let me tell you, it was the worst thing I've ever been through!

lachicarubia · 10-06-2009, 10:21 PM

Heth, (and the others who posted about their losses) I am so sorry for your loss. (((HUGS))) Sorry your MIL is not being as helpful as she thinks. It is nice of her to offer to place a stone, but she shouldn't push it.

A few years ago, when I was 14.5 weeks, I found out that my twins were 9 weeks size with no heartbeats. I really think that it was because my progesterone had dropped too low around 8-9 weeks. Oh, I had a D&C, since a life threatening condition called DIC can develop if the M/C is retained for more than 6 weeks. It was no big deal, they gave me Versed, which makes you forget everything that happened while the med was on board. I am glad that was over fast, but of course, I still needed time to morn.

I have requested that my OB check my p4 with each PG since then, and I have needed to start progesterone at about 7 weeks for each one.

It would be a good idea to ask your doc to check your p4 levels with your next PG (when you are emotionally ready to start thinking about your next PG, of course).

snfr02chic · 10-07-2009, 11:13 AM

Lach.....I'm going to do the same thing. I had never thought about it or even looked into P4 levels, but it seems that a lot of our cysters here have had to take supplements, and it kind of upsets me that they never checked my levels, you would think that they would do it at least 1x for everybody, in my heart I have a feeling that is what happened and I'm keeping myself positive by saying that next time I will make sure they check it, and check it again and I WILL have a healthy pregnancy and baby for that reason. I wish it was something I had known, but at cliche as it sounds, I guess it wasn't meant to be for some reason.

You all know that October 15th is national Infant loss/Miscarriage/Stillborn day right? I believe at 7pm everyone around the world will be lighting a candle in memory of their baby or someone they know who has lost a baby for at least 1 hour. They are all over the web and also have a lot of really nice jewelry if any of you wanted to remember your angel that way. I found a guitar pick that you could engrave and I want to get it for DH, but I can't find that website anymore. Either way, look it up, I think you can get to it by october15th.com

MiraclesHappen · 10-17-2009, 03:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snfr02chic

I am going through it with you. I started bleeding on Saturday and they found no HB when I went to the ER. It's now Wed and I'm still in an immense about of pain with a lot of bleeding and going in today to talk to them about a d&C...in my case I want it done. It's enough to suffer emotionally without having to physically suffer as well. I will be praying for you, if you need a buddy through this please let me know!

Snfr02chic, it is so good to "see" you again - even if it isn't under the happiest of circumstances. I have been through a similar experience - all was well at 9 weeks 3 days but when we went back at 12 weeks 3 days we learned that the baby stopped growing 3 weeks ago (no heartbeat). I had a D&C yesterday morning and it was absolutely the right decision for me - trying to have a "natural" miscarriage was both incredibly painful and incredibly nonproductive (I cramped for 36 hours straight but barely spotted and was up all night the night before the D&C because I was in too much pain to sleep). The physical pain is behind me now so I can start concentrating on processing my emotional pain and moving forward.

lisaleah11 · 10-20-2009, 01:43 AM

Im so sorry for everyones loss. Im going through it now. My u/s at 7 wks should sac but no fetal pole. And it was only measuring 6wks 1d. The day after the u/s I spotted until last night, when i passed so much tissue it was insane. And the cramping was so awful. Surprising emotionally im fine. Ever since i got my positive i felt like something wasnt right, i didnt have any symptoms so i knew. But it was/is extremely painful as the cramps are still with me now. Tomorrow would have been 8wks. We have been trying for over a year and thought we would never get pg, but it seems like it is possible. And now i have hope that it can happen again.

My mind is going back and forth on whether to wait or because of the pcos we should just start trying once we get the ok. All i want is one child. More would be nice. But i only need one.

snfr02chic · 10-21-2009, 01:45 AM

All I know is that everyone whether with PCOS or not, is more fertile within the first 3 months post m/c...so as soon as AF shows her face again we will start trying immediately!

lisaleah11 · 10-21-2009, 03:13 AM

Is that really true? I told husband i wanted to wait. But now that ive gone through it im almost willing to go through it a million times again, just so i can get closer to having a child. Im afraid though it might be harder emotionally the second time (if miscarriage happens), not sure. But like i said before i knew from the moment i got my positive that something wasnt right. So for 3 weeks i was already mentally prepared. Even though i was hoping i was wrong.

snfr02chic · 10-21-2009, 12:40 PM

Leesa, I was right there with you, I just knew in my heart something was off. But from what I've read and talked to my dr's about it's true.

TDoern · 10-21-2009, 02:35 PM

For those of you who are considering jumping back on the TTC bandwagon right away - do what you feel is best. Do what you heart feels that it can handle. I had a full out delivery at 22 weeks - and my doctor told us to wait 2 cycles before trying again. That was including 6 weeks of no sex after the delivery.

Whether the tales are true about being more fertile the first 3 months after having/losing a baby are true I can't swear. I can tell you that we found out a few days ago that we are expecting again. I'm 4w3d right now. Our Christopher wasn't due until November 7th. If he had lived there is no way I would be pregnant now - I'd either still be carrying him, or on BC to prevent getting pregnant until we could handle another baby.

So the dark cloud now has it's silver lining. I can tell you that it's a huge blessing, but I have many mixed emotions. I wish I could have both babies, this one and our Christopher. At the same time I wanted a reason for having to say goodbye to Christopher, and this is the best one I can think of.

Just know that God does all things for a reason, we may not always understand it, and some things we never will, but there is a reason for it. The best thing you can do is listen to your heart, and your body, and your spouse and decide together what will work best for all of you.

*hugs*

lisaleah11 · 10-21-2009, 06:50 PM

I talked to my husband some more last night about it. And i really go to thinking, that i can do this again. It was a horrible and painful experience. But worth it to know that i can get pregnant and theres a chance that one day it will make it! So after my spotting stops i think we are going to try again. I havent talked to my doctor yet. I have an appointment in two weeks about when to try again and everything.

Congrats TDoern. I hope everything works out with this pregnancy for you.

Also i have a weird, and sorta tmi question. So i had the miscarriage on sunday and now im spotting and just passing the rest. But i've noticed when i wipe theres alot of cm mixed in with the blood. Nothing like with a period. Its is my body cleaning everything out, or cuz my cervix went through a form of labor.. or what? I hope this question makes sense. lol.

snfr02chic · 10-22-2009, 12:41 AM

Tammy ~ that is so awesome, I hope to have the same results soon...how long did it take for AF to show up again, or did you just starting bd'ing non-stop in hopes that you O'd...I want to start trying now, but I don't know the best way to do it.

Leesa ~ I can't answer your question, not really sure what you mean. I know with my dr. the one thing they almost demanded was that we waited until my HCG levels returned to 0 again, so that we wouldn't get a false positive, which makes sense to me.

AFM...I had my final blood draw today, and appt. tomorrow so hopefully my HCG will be at 0 so we can start, but like I asked above, I don't know if I should just buy a bunch of OPKs and HPT and just take them every other day or wait for my period to show back up...advice??

lisaleah11 · 10-22-2009, 04:30 AM

Hmm how should i put this. When i wipe (still spotting) theres lots of watery/sticky cm in it almost making the blood watered down. And im just wondering why theres so much right now. It what i get when i ovulated. But im sure its probably got to do with the miscarriage.

Im just hoping for the spotting to stop soon lol. Its been 6 weeks since dh and i have had sex (i chose to stop when we got pregnant for the 1st trimester, and i was put on pelvic rest)

Im almost wanting to take hpt every couple days til i get a not pregnant one so i know my hcg level is down.

sundevilaz · 10-22-2009, 02:36 PM

I just wanted to tell everyone here how sorry I am about your losses. Please know that you are not alone. After two years of fertility drugs, shots in the stomach and hip, blood draws, ultrasounds, treatment and surgeries, after an emotionally draining ZIFT procedure, we lost our baby at 12 weeks. Tomorrow is the sixth anniversary of that horrible, dreadful day. The worst day of my life. I occasionally still think of what might have been, and what it might be like to have a five-year-old running around our house.

DH and I decided years ago not to TTC anymore. Instead we are enjoying our lives together, traveling the world and volunteering our time in the community. I believe all things happen for a reason, and since I am able to give back to those in need, I choose to do so as often as possible. We are loving life and each other's company, and making the world a better place for others. I just wanted to say that it is possible to move on after such a horrible loss, and be happy again someday. I hope this helps at least someone out there.

Hugs to each of you!

snfr02chic · 10-22-2009, 08:39 PM

Leesa....ask your dr. to monitor your HCG level!! I've heard that most do, because when you start trying again you want to make sure that your HCG level is back to 0 or close to it so that you don't get a false positive. I just had my final today it was 2.34 and anything less than 4.84 is considered not pregnant...so I got the green light to start trying again, although they would prefer I wait for 2 cycles and start with the 2nd cycle ovulation.