Forgiveness???

marmel24 · 10-09-2002, 06:24 PM

Hi everyone. I usually post in the ttc forum but this doesn't seem appropriate for there so I hope some of you will help me out. I have been married to a wonderful man for 3 1/2 years and have had serious issues with his parents since before we were married. There have been several times when dh has just said to h*** with them and not spoken to them or had anything to do with them for months at a time. They have done many nasty & mean things to me and tried to break us up on several occasions. They didn't even come to our wedding! In the past several months dh has been trying to reestablish a relationship with them after no contact for a year. They have never apologized to him or me for ANYTHING and I want to know how I can get some forgiveness in my heart for them. It hurts me to say this b/c it sounds so hateful but I have NEVER had such awful feelings towards anyone in my life! My blood just boils when I think about them! The holidays are coming up and I know that I will have to see them and I don't know how to handle it. Does anyone have any advice for me? Thanks for listening, Melissa

Ajani · 10-10-2002, 02:24 PM

I think it begins with the concept of grace. Extending grace means offering kindness and love to someone whose behaviour has not merritted it. God extends it to us all the time, and asks us to do the same for others. It isn't easy. We need His help. We can't extend grace or forgiveness on our own, most of the time. We have too much of a desire for justice. God will give you what you need, if you come to Him honestly and follow Him earnestly and humbly.

ysmith · 10-10-2002, 05:38 PM

I THINK THAT THE BEST THING TO DO IS TO SMOTHER THEM WITH KINDNESS. DON'T LET THIS STAND BETWEEN YOU AND GOD. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU.

Lisa75 · 10-15-2002, 05:05 PM

Oh girl, I know in a sense how you feel. I have had problems with my In laws since day one, but ya know what, there is nothing you can't do with the Lord by your side. Remember if God is for us, Who can be against us? My mother would always say, Killem with kindness. I know its hard believe me!

"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Matthew 5:44"

I will keep you in my prayers.

Juana Baby · 10-23-2002, 12:34 AM

I wish I had a great answer for you, but I dont' think I do. Last year, my Mother and I went to a ladies retreat and the speaker there was Devi Titus. She was an awesome speaker and I even bought her tape about Choosing to Forgive. (maybe you can see if you can find her on the internet- I think I wrote to her one time at "DeviTitus@aol.com", but I am not sure. Basically what it comes down to is this: If you expect forgiveness from God, you yourself must forgive others for what they have done to you. And then once you have forgiven them, you must forget their transgressions. I have always heard that the "Lord's Prayer" should be our model for prayer, and in it Christ asked God to forgive. He even asked God to forgive the people who crucified Him because they did not know what they were doing. If it truly is your goal to be more Christ-like and to live for Him, He will give you the strength to forgive.

May God be with you in the decisions you make.

laural