Hi Everyone, I had a bit of a shock today. My friend came over for lunch and burst into tears, saying she had a threatened miscarriage, and didn't even know she was pregnant. She was never going to have a third, because she has a hereditary condition that means she has a 1/20 chance of having a severely disabled baby. She had terrible pregnancies before due to intense testing into her 6th month. She has to wait till 11 weeks till they can begin testing, and if it shows the baby could be disabled, she will terminate. The first shock was that she was pregnant, as I am desperately trying after losing mine. The second was, OMGosh, what must the poor girl be going through. The dilemma is if she chooses to abort. I am against abortion, and if they had said to me when I was m/c that I could have my babies back, but that they would be disabled, I would have had them back in a heartbeat.
I intend to be the best friend I can be to my friend, and feel so upset for her, but don't know if I can deal with a termination, particularly as she feels that at 11 wks or so, it isn't really a baby (this one really hurts, as I miscarried at 13 wks).
Thanks for listening.
__________________ Conceived Son #1 naturally in 2000 (think I developed PCOS after his birth)
Conceived Son #2 after trying for 6 mths in 2002
Miscarried my beautiful twins May 2007 at 13 weeks To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Diagnosed with PCOS 2007.
Currently trying to beat PCOS and Candida
TTC #3
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Ugh, this is a frustrating situation. Any and all death touches me so much closer now that I've seen a precious life slip away. I think I would tell the friend that I would need some time apart if she does choose to terminate, just to give you a cushion from the tragedy. What do you think she would say? Does she have another friend to talk to? I seriously hope that this kid is okay!
(((Hugs)))
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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This is a difficult one. I too would not terminate if it was my baby. However, I have never been in this position and I can understand the reasoning behind the decision that some people make.
If you know that your baby is going to be born to incredible pain and suffering, then as a parent you may feel that it is kinder to terminate before your baby can feel any of that pain. Again, this is not my veiw, but I can see the arguments from the other side.
This is obviously difficult for you as an outsider, so maybe you do need to have some space. On the other side, your friend sounds very distressed as well and probably needs your support if you can manage it.
__________________ ******************
Me(36), DH(45), Mom to 2 boys & an angel (vanishing triplet at 8wks)
Diagnosed PCOS/insulin resistance 09/2003 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Thankyou both for your replies. What you both say makes complete sense. I can't help how I feel, but I intend to be the best friend I can. I just have so many mixed emotions about it all at the moment, and of course am so worried for her.
__________________ Conceived Son #1 naturally in 2000 (think I developed PCOS after his birth)
Conceived Son #2 after trying for 6 mths in 2002
Miscarried my beautiful twins May 2007 at 13 weeks To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Diagnosed with PCOS 2007.
Currently trying to beat PCOS and Candida
TTC #3
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Oh my God, that is really terrible. I feel bad for you and your friend. I can see why you would be so upset, I get really upset when anyone talks about abortion for the baby's health reasons. I have a handicapped child and I would never NEVER have wanted her to die just because she would be different...
I hope this baby is OK and I hope your friend can get through this hard time. I agree with the previous poster that you should try to be there for her if you can, but after having a m/c your feelings are very raw and I can totally see if you need some time away from her. This is a lot to deal with.
(Hugs)
__________________ Suzi and Lamar
PCOS and MF
TTC baby #1 since 2002
BFP March 2005!
Elisa Mari Walcott born 11-14-2005 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Surprise BFP June 2007!
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TTC #2 since 9-2007
BFP!!!! 5/27/2008
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Eliana Imani Walcott born 01-26-2009
Thank you God my struggle with PCOS is over! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Friend Pregnant, But With Serious Complications 
