Frustration with Dr. After second miscarriage

Shelly77 · 05-08-2008, 02:37 PM

Hi all,

New to the boards after suffering my second early miscarriage. I have been married for 11 yrs, hoping to get pregnant and even doing a few rounds of clomid. After sx to loss weight and dropping 100 lbs I became pregnant only to miscarry early.

Went to the Fertility spec, and discovered my hubby also has fertility issues. Needless to say testing could not show a "reason" for it and we were told Invetro was the only way we would get preg.

Then low and behold less than a year later I again test positive only to misscarry. Gyn refers me to specialist to determine why I am miscarrying only to have him tell me, I just need help "getting pregnant." No tests to check hormone levels etc. Went in armed with articles about low progesterone.... No real answer, just wants to put me on birth control, do a hystrosplanogram and then IUI with clomid???

Just frustrated as I spent about ten years never getting pregnant, now somehow am conceiving, just losing the baby. And all he can tell me is I need help getting pregnant???

Has anyone else dealt with this frustration/ mindset? I am wondering if I should follow my gut and seek a more "natural" answer.

Always,

AnotherDreamer · 05-08-2008, 03:32 PM

Have you tried talking to your doctor again, or getting a second opinion?

I'm not sure...
I am sorry for what you're going through though.
(*hugs*)

Shelly77 · 05-08-2008, 04:46 PM

This is the first specialist I have seen after the second mc... I don't know it seems like they see two people with fertility issues, and jump to fertility treatments.... and miss the fact, that even though I have PCOS and my husband has a low sperm count we have conceived twice in two years?? Just can't seem to have a successful pregnancy.... I don't know I just felt that now it would or should focus on making sure I could stay pregnant before working to get me pregnant again.

Shelly

Miracle07 · 05-08-2008, 05:17 PM

Sorry for your loss. (((HUGS))) How frustrating. The only thing that I can think of is that your specialist may feel that you have poor egg quality and that can be helped with Clomid or injectables. As my RE used to say "a better quality O is needed" To get my better quality O I needed weight loss and Metformin ER. Also I had 2 miscarriages and they did not do anything either until saying that I needed 3 before they would do testing. My 3rd pg I demanded progesterone support and ended up with DS so stick to your guns and trust your instincts and tell them what you want instead of asking. If you feel like having Progesterone will help then tell them you want it, it won't hurt anything to be on it if you do not have a deficiency.
GL and congrats on the weight loss! That is awsome!

CelticSpirit · 05-08-2008, 05:27 PM

First, I'm very sorry for your losses. Infertility followed by loss is horrible. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Next, there are many money-hungry specialists out there looking to push the more expensive treatments and it sounds like that's what you've found.

First of all, if no one tests your hormones or gives your DH advice on improving sperm count, it's obvious they aren't looking after your best interests. Even if you went straight to invitro, if you're not finding out why you can't STAY pregnant, there's no sense in trying to GET pregnant.

Keep looking...there ARE decent fertility specialists out there but there are also a lot of idiots. With PCOS your best bet IS an RE (reproductive endocrinologist) but you obviously want one who is willing to exhaust the natural possibilities first (which, I completely understand and agree with).

Is there anyone that you know who could recommend a specialist? Is there a doctor you TRUST who can recommend one (this bombed for me, but it's worked for MANY other women)?

If I were in your shoes, I'd schedule consults with doctors and instead of them asking YOU questions, YOU aske THEM how they would handle your case and if they would be wiling to do things YOUR way for a while. Keep looking until you find the right doctor who is willing to work with you.

Good luck and once again, I'm very sorry for your losses.

Shelly77 · 05-08-2008, 05:49 PM

Thanks for the ((hugs))

For the past few weeks, I have been reading furiously trying to see what I should bring up, and what I should look for. Unfortunately, this doctor did not seem to be interested. I have seen a RE in the past, that was testing hormones, however she turned us over to the Urologist when DH's count was very very low.

I live in a smaller town and was traveling and hour to see her and when the GYN told me about this RE coming into town twice a month I was a hopeful I would get some answers. He actually said my problem was not mc.... I mc'd mid April... that it was getting pregnant??? When I asked about progesterone and androgen levels and reminded him I had "gotten pregnant two times" he said "studies aren't clear on androgen levels actually causing mc's"?

My feeling is I should go through with the HSG to "get it out of the way" and then again request some hormonal testing... He wanted me to go on birth control for a month, so he could do this test, and stop them and start right away on clomid for the IUI... Truthfully I can afford the clomid, but not the IUI right now.. and don't know I want to press it if I can conceive on my own, just want to make sure I stay that way.

Thanks for all the help and support!

Miracle07 · 05-08-2008, 06:28 PM

Have you had DH tested again. If his count was really really low that is what could be an issue. I think I would do that again instead of spending money on an IUI. If his count is OK then you know that the IUI is more likely to work.

PCOSDC · 05-09-2008, 01:24 PM

I'm having a very similar situation. I just suffered my second miscarriage in 4 months and my RE said he won't do any testing until I have a 3rd. He just keeps saying we will wait 1 month and try clomid. But I don't seem to be having a problem getting pregnant now that I'm on Met. It's frustrating.

CelticSpirit · 05-09-2008, 01:35 PM

For the love of Pete...it's SO easy to test for hormone issues.

There's no reason why the doctors can't send you for blood work to find out where your hormone levels are. Making someone lose 3 babies is deplorable (although sometimes insurance companies won't pay for testing until 3 losses--again DEPLORABLE!)

I could rant all day about this.

My heart just breaks for you ladies.

If I were in your shoes, I'd call the insurance company and find out if they will pay for the testing (and we're talking simple blood work--a lot of blood work, but simple).

Please don't be afraid to advocate for yourselves. And, please let us know what happens.

Twisted Cyster · 05-09-2008, 01:55 PM

I am so sorry for your loss.

Last July, we had our first miscarriage. An ultrasound later and I was being sent to a RE to 'help' me with my PCOS that I had just been told I had. I had that appointment at the beginning of November.

It was a HORRIBLE experience. She also wanted just to put me on birth control for a few months. When I told her we wanted to keep trying and I was 34, she just said that "It doesn't matter if I go on birth control because I'm not ovulating anyway. And do I really want to get pregnant this soon after a miscarriage and at my weight." (I was 180lbs) Then she said, "You'll be pregnant and 250 pounds." and she looked so disgusted that I started crying. Then she suggested that I should let her or my doctor know if I wanted to go on anti-depressants.

I had done some reading on my own and cut out all sugar, processed foods and ate meals that had low GI ratings. I walked more in the evening to get some exercise in as well. I tried to ask her what ELSE I could do to work on eating better. She never even let me get in that I was eating like this and that I had lost 15 pounds in a few weeks. She just said "Go to Weight Watchers" with her back turned to me. She never even gave me a chance to tell her what I was already doing.

Then she wanted to send DH for a sperm count. Hello, we got pregnant the first time within one month of trying (lucky enough), I am the one diagnosed with PCOS. Why put him through this right now.

**Warning, current pregnancy mentioned**
Nothing she said helped in any way, and had I listened to her and just gone on BCP's when I did, I would have had more problems because I was already pg again and did not know it for another couple of weeks. She just wanted me to start the pills without ANY testing. I don't mean to cause any hurt feelings with mentioning my pg, I just want to share my experiences with my RE and my choice to try the natural route first. I like to believe that my healthier eating style somehow helped.

I wish you the best in your decisions. Stand up for yourself and if you need a second opinion, get one. In my case, I went back to my doctor, and she agreed with me that the first doctor wasn't on board with my best interests.

Shelly77 · 05-09-2008, 07:05 PM

Thanks Twisted Cyster,

I had experienced some of the same prior to mc, when I was first dx with PCOS. A dr told me to just "get off the couch and excercise... Never went back.

I guess, I would totally understand the primary focus being "getting pregnant" if I had never conceived in the first place (or for that matter the second time)...

I get that they see this couple with little to no sperm count, and "bad eggs" if any at all... And think well lets get on with the treatment, yet forget that somehow I must be a bit more fertile than expected since my weight loss as now after over a decade of marriage, I am getting pregnant.

I don't think with the imbalance of hormones associated with PCOS I should "jump" into BCP then Clomid when "somehow" I have gotten prg on my own.

I would rather know what has caused my previous two loses, and keep my next baby alive and continue the pregnancy for the long term then spend thousands on treatment only to lose another child.

Thanks for all your support,
Shelly

HOLLAND · 05-09-2008, 07:08 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss

Dagmar · 05-09-2008, 08:24 PM

I have friends who had IVF for their first one, IVF for their next twins, and then randomly fell prengant with their 4th. Apparently, his sperm were so random, they were told they would never get pregnant, but they did! He even asked if it was his...Stranger things have happened. Just trying to give you hope...

Shelly77 · 05-10-2008, 03:21 PM

Thanks, all for the support and even the hope things will eventually improve.

Truthfully this is the first time in my married life, I actually feel as if I can have children. Never before have I even a faintly tested positive for pregnancy and how I have been pg twice... My fear at this point is that the dr's are missing a reason that I can't stay pregnant in the focus to "get" me pg. Plus my personal choice does not allow me to use BCP as they don't prevent conception (always) and I won't use them.

Consequently, after reading the posts and various articles I have found here and on the web I am fairly certain that I have low progesterone... and high prolactin levels that from what I read interferes with progesterone... A previous progesterone test after being put on letrozole and it returned at ~ 11.5 on CD 21 however this is with a prolactin level of 34.50 and an Androstenedione of 270. Plus when reading the symptoms associated with low progesterone and estrogen dominance like Asthma, breast tenderness, cramps, short cycles, insomnia, weight gain, water retention, and carb cravings etc. I have them all.

I simply won't risk FT to get me pregnant until I know something so basic is not the problem and possibly treated so that I can remain pg..

My frustration is that My Dr should be "thinking" and "treating" me this way instead of my having to do it. Girrr