getting custody of my nephew

Idahoisforlovers · 02-20-2009, 05:50 PM

i had some questions about custody rights. my brother and sister in law had a baby three months ago and are living with my mother. my mom is almost always caring for him and it overwhelms her. his mother is on social security for a learning disablity and my brother also had some kind of disablity but refuses to be evaluated for it. when he does sleep in his room beside his parents room he will be crying for about ten min before they get up and his mom takes a bottle in and props it on roled up blankets and leaves but after he falles asleep its still in his mouth and he wakes up coughing because the milk keeps dripping in his mouth. then the smin he wakes up fot the day the hand him to my mom and go back to sleep till noon he usualy only gets a bath when i come over about once every week and give him one. they sit there any play there gameboys and ignore him crying in the bouncer beside them and rarly hold him wille feeding him just prop it up like i said before. he has a cloged tear duct and they almost never wipe his eye clean. my mom takes care of him for the most part.

also he has a pillow like a boppy that they put in his crib evry night with a ton of blanket and take him over to there friends and his other grandmas house they smoke and drink (there angry drunks) without even going out side much less leave the room and when the stay the night there he sleeps in the bed with my SIL parents and they jsut sitt up and smoke in the middle of the night. he cone back from there and he weesed an has trouble breatheing but they stilltake him back the neext weekend and take him with them when they drive her parets to and from the barr at all hours of the night. mosly they "play house" and only want him when they can dress him up and show him off

so my question is do you think a judge would deem them unfit i dont want to go foward with it to just have them get off and take him to live with her parents where hes around all that smoke. and also how would i go about getting custody, how would i document the things there doing.

thanks in advance and thank you for reading my super long post any advice is much apreciated

alliemyangel06 · 02-22-2009, 04:58 PM

Hi if I were you I would take pictures and videos make sure it has the date and time on it. You can contact a lawyer (that is your best bet) see if the lawyer will take your case. If not or you dont have money for a lawyer the last thing is make a call to child services. still take video and pics before you do the more proof you have the better. You can call them or show up at the office. I personally would show up with the proof that way you can tell your side and show them. then they will go to the house talk with them look around and if they decide to take the child they can place him in your home. But stress that when you go there. I know the county I live in they give you different choices. JUST dont take any state money for him. do it on your own. Child services will require them to take classes parenting and mental evaluations drug tests. Thats pretty much the just of it. Good Luck

Safyre · 02-24-2009, 10:22 AM

It honestly sounds as though they don't know how to be parents, and the person they are living with are enabling them to be this way.
I don't know if there would be any way for you to get custody, since the child is already in a house where he is being taken care of by the grandmother.
If you want to move forward, Take pictures or video and then bring it to CPS, where they will require the parents to go to parenting class.
Also, the parents may not realize that the coughing has to do with the baby being around smoke, you may want to gently suggest to them that this is the cause.
This is a sticky situation, and one that will be very hard on the family if you do try to get custody, so tread gently!

alliemyangel06 · 03-01-2009, 11:11 PM

Hey any news?

lovinlucy02 · 03-02-2009, 12:51 AM

Hi just saw you post. I work for social services and so I understand all of this. Your best bet is to call the hotline. Just remember though the goal of dss is to keep a child with their family, and they may only open a case where the child stays with the family and they have a worker come out and monitor the situation. If you want to be considered as a placement make sure you have your brother mention that to the workers. Good luck and let me know how it goes or if you have any questions!

Alilly80 · 03-29-2009, 08:36 PM

I understand your concerns. My nephew was taken away from my brother's girlfriend. I was in the process of getting temporary custody of him when my brother passed away (he had cystic fibrosis). Since then it has come out that he probably wasn't the father, so I have ceased the custody process. I hope that you get things straightened out. The important thing is that your nephew gets taken care of. My thoughts are with you!