Getting impatient

3crazydogs · 09-19-2005, 05:45 PM

I'm starting to get seriously impatient. It's been over a month now since the social worker did our home study, so what we're waiting for is our criminal clearance to come back. Our agency waited almost a month after we sent in our application to request the clearance, and now it's taking forever to come back. I feel like our adoption is going absolutely nowhere since we have to wait for the home study to be complete before we can even apply to immigration. (which I've heard takes like 2-3 months to get the I 171-H) I was really hoping to have our dossier sent to China in December, but depending on how much longer the clearance takes to come back, it's going to be January or maybe even February.

I'm so frustrated. I can't even be excited about this adoption until we get our I 171-H back because I'm terrified something will go wrong and the adoption won't go through. And I know it's going to drive me crazy waiting for that too. After four years of infertility I just can't take another big disappointment. And the longer it takes to get our papers to immigration, the longer I have to sit around not being excited about it. And I don't understand why they waited so long to send in the request, they should have done it when I was accepted at the agency.

On top of that, my best friend is due to have her baby girl November 1st, and while she just keeps moving foward towards having her baby, I'm just stuck. I'm so sick of waiting, I've been so patient and waiting for four years, I don't think I can stand another minute of it. I know I will have to wait once our dossier is in China, but at least then I can be excited and start planning for her.

Sorry this turned into a big old vent!

Lisa67 · 09-19-2005, 08:01 PM

Vent away, Jessica!

Are you waiting for your CORI to come back? That doesn't usually take very long -- has your agency or SW followed up on it for you?

I know how aggravating all of this can be when you are waiting on someone else to do paperwork or produce results. It's much easier to take the wait when it's in your own hands. I truly know the agony you are feeling.

I don't want anyone to get sick of me saying this but it will happen-I know it's easier for me to say that but I'm finding out this second time around that the more relaxed I am and the less I count the days, the faster it is going by. I dreaded every day of my wait last time around--and it was a long time...but this time seems to be speeding by because I feel like since I understand the process so much better it's easier to relax.

I don't know if my words have helped you any....I know there is nothing I can say to take away your pain of waiting because it's not easy to do. Just know that your little one will be here and everything will work out just the way you want.

Thinking of you

~Lisa~ · 09-19-2005, 09:41 PM

We're not going the china route as you know but we were and maybe will sometime in the future but I understand what you are saying, it can make you almost crazy

But I agree with Lisa "it will" and the hurrying up and waiting, hurrying up and waiting is just for the birds. I've had to deal with that myself. Big hugs to you hun....you'll have your little sweetie before long in your arms

dna · 09-20-2005, 10:02 AM

The paperwork is very frustrating and the rumours about the wait times are sometimes more frustrating....

Actually the whole process is frustrating .. right now I am frustrated waiting for referral even though the time seems to be zipping by in hindsight...just not when I look at how much we still have !

Everything will fall into place...your baby will be who you are meant to have at the time you are meant to have her

~Traci~ · 09-20-2005, 03:56 PM

Believe me, I totally understand!

Our CORI took forever to come back. To make matters worse, I needed an extra FBI check b/c I haven't lived in TX for 10 years yet.

DH's came back really fast but mine took forever. We had our HS's all done and they were still waiting on it. At that point, our caseworker said they were going forward w/o it. It took 1 month from the time we got our rough draft to get our final draft when I was told it would only take a couple weeks at most.

I would start calling your agency every day if you have to. They can't make you wait that long. On top of all that, it's all computerized now so it should only take a day at most (found that out AFTER we had all our problems).

We're now waiting for our I-171H (21 days since fingerprinting). We could send our I-600A & documents in before our HS (they got it 2 weeks before our HS report was sent). It didn't make it any faster but I'll tell you that we got our Fingerprinting letter & our copy of the HS report on the same exact day. Our HS agency overnighted our report to CIS b/c they knew they messed up so they tried to fix it. I'm happy we sent ours in before and not waited b/c we had our name spelled wrong on their end and were able to correct it so our file didn't get confused.

So I would call your agency (it wouldn't be Gladney would it?

) and tell them you're sending in your I-600A & documents this week and expect your HS report to be there in a couple weeks. I was so frusterated that I was crying on a voicemail, we had our HS 2 days after that.

I know that the waiting is hard. We were TTC for 5 years & had 4 losses before we started our adoption. We were terrified that something would go wrong. We didn't start really telling people until after our HS was done (we told our immediate family but no one else until just recently) b/c of our past losses and telling everyone just to see the disappointment on their faces. Just now we're starting to open up and be happy that we're starting to move forward. We started this in April, we're still not DTC b/c of my DH (He took too long to get paperwork to me b/c I le him) as well as all the problems w/ the HS agency.

Good Luck! & {{{{HUGS}}}}
Traci

3crazydogs · 09-20-2005, 04:38 PM

Ladies, thank you so much. I already feel better. I'm not sure what a CORI is, but we're waiting for the criminal check the agency does to finalize the home study. They told me to wait to send in the I-600A until we actually get our final home study report.

How long does it take once you send in the I-600A until you get your fingerprinting letter? And then is it 2-3 AFTER that, or 2-3 months from when you first send in the form?

I don't think I will feel relaxed, or excited, or comfortable enough with everything to tell people other than close friends and family until our paperwork is in China. I've told a few people at work because they notarized some documents for me.

Traci, why did you have to have an extra FBI check? did that make it take longer? I haven't lived in Texas for 10 years.

I did email my agency (I'm going through Great Wall) and she said they have 90 days to respond. UGH! I'll email her again probably next week since it's been almost two weeks since I first emailed her. I know that I will get the baby I'm supposed to have in the end, when it's all finished, I just wanted the paperwork to go as fast as possible because I'm so worried something will go wrong. One good thing is that the later in the year next year that we get her, the closer in age she will be to my best friend's baby, which we thought was really exciting!

~Traci~ · 09-20-2005, 04:48 PM

Our agency only runs state checks but had to run an FBI check on me since I haven't lived here for 10 years yet. So in the end, I'll have had 2 FBI checks on me (one through HS agency & 1 through CIS).

Here's how ours has gone so far:
HS application: 5/23
HS visit (only 1 visit-4 hrs long): 6/28
HS 1st draft: 7/25
I-600A received: 8/4
HS final report (received @ CIS): 8/22
Fingerprinting Letter: 8/23
Fingerprinted 8/30

I just found out that since my DH had an arrest 12 years ago that our I-171H will be held up longer...so stupid since I've read numerous times that CCAA doesn't even look at arrests older than 10 years!

DH's state check came back in June & my checks didn't come back until July so it did take longer for the FBI check (even though it's all computerized).

I know it's VERY hard to wait...believe me, I run to the mailbox every single day only to be disappointed

The only reason why we told extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc) was to get them prepared and so they'd stop asking us when we were going to have children b/c it was getting really annoying every time we talked to them or saw them.

{{{{HUGS}}}}
Traci

3crazydogs · 09-21-2005, 06:47 PM

Well, of course just as I start griping about how long it's taking, the criminal clearance came back and our home study is approved! The SW is going to send us our copies of the HS and then we can apply to immigration, finally!!!!
Thanks to everyone, I'm so glad that I found this board, and I'm sure that I will go crazy waiting for our I71-H, but I'm hoping to try to be a little more patient!

~Traci~ · 09-21-2005, 07:13 PM

Congrats! Once we applied it went pretty fast...now we're waiting for our I-171H which isn't going so fast and not very good at all...

Just keep remembering that all this hurry up & wait as well as grief is for a very good reason

Traci

Lisa67 · 09-22-2005, 12:08 AM

Congrats Stacy! One more hurdle overcome!