Going through 2nd miscarriage

cryinginPA · 11-14-2003, 09:40 PM

I'm so upset. I went in for an ultrasound on Wednesday and was told the baby stopped growing at five weeks. I would have been nine week today. Having one miscarriage was bad enough, but now two. My dr. is on vacation until Tuesday - that is when I meet with him about this whole mess.

Trying to decide if I should try again. It is such an emotional process. I don't know how much I can take.

Just waiting for the bleeding to start...my body still thinks it's pregnant!

My last miscarriage was last November. It ruined Thanksgiving last year and again this year. It took me one year to get pregnant and now this!!!!!

Oh, gee, I just can't stand the pain. I don't know why god won't answer my prayers...doesn't he ever listen.

To top it off, my mother in law in law was diagnosed with rectal cancer on Tuesday. I'm not close to her at all, but how much is my hubby suppose to handle?

I'm just so depressed I can't stand it!!!!!

Mich831 · 11-15-2003, 01:32 AM

Hi,

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you're going through this.
I went through a MC last year too. We did IVF in the beginning of November and found out we were PG on 11/18. On December 10th I MC'd and on December 20th I had the D&C. It was emtionally the worse thing we ever went through. It ruined Christmas for us. And Christmas is our favorite time of year. We look so forward to it. Then that January my MIL got breast cancer. I am not close to her either but I felt bad for my DH.

All I can say is that she had surgery and did the Chemo and is now better. And I am 33w3d PG with our little boy. We did a FET (we had 5 blast frozen).
I am being induced in just 5 weeks and our son will be here the week before Christmas. So I guess I am hoping by telling you my story you will see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I never thought last year that by this Christmas we would be holding our son in our arms Christmas morning but we will be.

I know we all wonder where God is in all of this. But he is there. And in your deepest darkest hour he's holding you through this.

I'll be saying a prayer for you.

CathyWood · 11-15-2003, 04:44 PM

(((CryinginPA))) I am so sorry you are going through this. I know exactly what you are going through feelings wise. I had my miscarriage 3 1/2 weeks ago and I was saying the same things. I was so upset and depressed. I hope that maybe after you feel better you can see what other options there are for you...BUT i hope you will want to try again.

Contact me if you like...I would like to help you get through this...I hope that you have close friends nearby.

cryinginPA · 11-15-2003, 10:36 PM

Mich831 - Thank you for your reply. It has given me hope. I just have to take it one day at a time. Just curious...what is FET? I'm not on metformin but will be asking the dr. about it on Tuesday. Any advice?

Cathy - I remember ready about you on the postings. I am very sorry for you too. Appreciate your kind words. I'm sending prayers to you for a quick recovery and healthy future pregnancy. I hope you don't mind me asking....how far along were you? Any idea what caused it. Sorry, just searching for answers to give me peace of mind.

CathyWood · 11-16-2003, 12:39 AM

I was 6 weeks along...the baby stopped growing. So when I had the D & C i was around 9 weeks. i want to start trying again now...but of course AF has not shown up. I am on this new med and the side effects are just horrible...stomach problems. I wish you had instant message...would like to chat.

Mich831 · 11-16-2003, 12:47 AM

Hi,

Well, FET means Frozen Embie Transfer. We did IVF and we got 31 eggs and 22 fertilized. The first IVF we ever did which was last November we transfered 3 8-cell embies. That's the one where we had our first positive ever and also the one we MC'd with. But we were lucky enough that 5 embies grew to the blastocyst stage and were frozen. Out of those we transfered 3 embies in April and that's the ones that I am now PG with.

I'll tell you one thing. My first PG I stopped taking Baby Aspirin once we did the transfer. With this one I kept taking the BA. In fact I am still on it. My RE and my OB told me to stay on it. My OB wants me on it till a few days before I am to be induced. My sister has factor V liden (a blood cloting disorder which is genetic). I am not sure if I have it but that's one of the reasons I am staying on it. So I don't know if that helped with this PG but my RE said that it couldn't hurt to take when you have PCOS. Plus I am on Glucophage XR too. I'll be on that till a few days before delivery too.

Good Luck to you. Take care of yourself mentally it very important. But I know how you feel. You're not alone. Even though I am so blessed now I still cry for my little angel we lost last year.

cdcm · 11-16-2003, 12:56 AM

Dear Crying...

I'm so sorry... you've come so far and even though I haven't experienced this myself but I've gone through it with my best friend... I know you're going through hell right now... I know there are no words to help the pain.... so I won't try... but from what I've seen of others .... try to remember the pain eventually fades... just take care of yourself... HUGS!

MICH831
I also have a ???? about FET? 'cause we haven't gotten there yet... what kind of $$ is involved with the transfer? and what do you go through? med wise? procedurewise...?

Mich831 · 11-16-2003, 03:33 AM

cdcm,

Well, before you can do a FET you need to do IVF first. Because you need to retrieve the eggs in order to make the embies. Once you have the egg and sperm mix then you'll have embies to freeze. Then you'll have your frozen embies.

I am not sure how your RE's office works but mine cost over $8,000.00 per cycle NOT including any medication. And it had to be paid in full before you start the cycle.

So we did a shared risk program. That's where you pay a large amount up front and they will give you a certain amount of cycles for the price.
Like we paid $18,360.00 and that covered 2 fresh cycles and 2 frozen cycles. We use only one fresh (which we MC'd) and one frozen (which I am PG from now). If you get PG and MC at any point in your PG you can try again providing you have cycle left.
Meaning if you don't take home a baby from the hospital you can try again.
Now of course this price doesn't include medications. My medications cost us around $4,000.00. I took Lupron then I was on Follistim and Repronex. And also Progesterone in Oil injections. I was also on anitbiotics and a low dose steriod.

We could have also done a money back guarantee. Which would have cost us over $31,000.00 + the cost of medications. Which you would get 3 fresh cycles and 3 frozen cycles. If you don't get PG or take home a baby from the hospital after the 6 trys you'll get over $20,000.00 back. We didn't do this one because we thought if we got PG on the first try (which we did) then we would get nothing back at all. I would only do this if I've tried IVF before and knew that I couldn't get PG easily with it.
Now the one that we did you don't get any money back at all if you don't get PG.

I hope I've answered most of your questions. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask me. I'll always try and help you. This whole process is SO difficult. Emotionally and physically it's draining.

Good Luck to you

Mich831 · 11-16-2003, 03:48 AM

They had me get my AF (brought on by Prometrium). Then I went in on day 3 for bloodwork. After that they had me start Lupron injections. I was on that for at least 10 days. Then along with that I started the Follistim and Repronex. I would go in every morning to have a follicle check. About 7 days into the Follistim and Repronex injections I was ready for retrieval. I went in and they gave me an IV and put me to sleep took all the eggs and as I was being taken out I was awake already. I felt very sore after.
While your in there having it done they make DH give a sample.

First they call you to tell you how many fertilized. Then you wait about 3 days. They call and let you know if you going to transfer on the 3rd day or if they are going to grow the embies to the blastocyst stage (which is an embie with a 100 cells or more).

Then you go in for the transfer. You have to drink A LOT of water. They need your bladder VERY full for the US. They need to see your uterus so when they put the embies back in the put them in the right spot.
I'll tell you that was the WORST part of the whole entire process for me. You go in and they find the uterus externally. Then they have the embies in a little syringe with a long tube attached.
Once the RE finds the right spot to put them they inject them in you. Then the RE hands the whole syringe and tube back to the embriologist (sp?) to make sure there isn't any embies left in the tube. You can see your embies on a tv screen in the room.

Then I had to lay there flat on my back with a full bladder for 20 minutes. The first time I tried to us the bedpan but couldn't pee laying down. This last transfer I asked for the bedpan because I was in SO much pain. I had my DH help me sit up and go in the bedpan. TMI here but I had to go so much I over filled the bedpan. I had to push really hard to get the pee out. The whole time I thought for sure that I pushed the embies right out of me.
But I guess I didn't because he's in there right now moving around kicking me

Well, that's about it. Any other questions feel free to ask.
Of course this is how my RE's office does it. Every office I am sure does somethings differently.

cdcm · 11-16-2003, 02:28 PM

Mich831... Thank you... that sounds like just about everything I've read except the full bladder part... THAT'S AWFUL.... I've done that once before... I know... I know... yet another small sacrafice...

Congratz... and take care...

And Crying... I'm still thinking of you...and wishing you peace sooner than later...

Hugs Everyone...

Ber22 · 11-16-2003, 05:25 PM

Crying--My heart goes out to you because I know the pain of a second loss (it ended ended up being an ectopic and not another m/c). I know how scary it can be. The thing that helped me was talking to the nurse from the infertility clinic I go to...she was very hopeful that they could find the reason for the repeat m/c's and correct it. Of course, now with the ectopic, I'll need different follow-up.
This isn't easy. We grieve in proportion to the amount we love someone, and I find comfort in the amount that I grieve, because I know it means I will be a very loving mother when the time comes.
Give yourself time, and if the overwhelming feelings of sadness don't subside, seek counseling and maybe medication. I know that is what I am going to do if I don't start to feel better soon.
Prayers and hugs--Ber

AmyKathleen · 11-18-2003, 11:28 AM

I'm so so sorry. I just had my 3rd m/c about 3 weeks ago and it's been pretty hard. When you just have one m/c you think it's just "one of those things", but then when you have 2, the thought of it being an epidemic comes to play. I am terrified. If you ever need to talk you can PM or email amykate1971@yahoo.com.

God Bless

jennifer pollock · 11-22-2003, 07:09 PM

I'm so sorry for your losses. I am seeing so many of us that get pg pretty well and lose them between 5-8 weeks, but no one can seem to find out why. I think that is the most frustrating- WHY??? Please know that you (any of you) are not alone and that we have to go through this to hopefully get what we want in the end. Yes, it is terrible, but this vs. the alternative of adoption or never having a child is something everyone must decide on in their own time. I hope we never have to. Hugs, jennifer