I just need to vent a little today. I'm so stressed right now and I'm sure it is completely overreacting but none the less... Here's what's going on.
Our birth mom went to her ob/gyn appointment last month as was told her Medicaid was dropped and that she would have to pay for the appointment. Well of course she's poor and couldn't pay it so she was turned away.
She was running a fever, sick and her back was hurting her. She took public transportation to the appointment in the rain with her 2 year old in tow to the appointment. She has a history of toxemia with her son and had miscarried another baby at 5 months, so this is considered a high risk pregnancy and they freaking turn her away???????? I was so ticked off!
So she goes home calls the Medicaid worker and she says since she receiving $160/week unemployment for 6 weeks they are cutting her off for 6 weeks! Which makes no sense because she got Medicaid while she was working and making MORE money!
I called the doctor's office and they wanted a $500 "deposit" to see her again so we drove 3 1/2 hours in freezing rain and snow to pay them the deposit and then we get a letter from them saying they now want $3000 up front to see her! I called them today and I REALLY think they are doing this for two reasons the first being she is poor and the second because it's an adoption.
When I confronted the woman she went on and on about how they are running a "business" and they've been taken advantage of by people saying that medicaid would cover the costs of a delivery and then getting stuck with eating the costs etc. etc. I asked her, "well isn't that why we paid the $500 deposit?" I think they are developing policies as they go.
I also confronted her on turning our birth mom away while she was so sick and she tried to say that she wasn't turned away that she was a "walk out" but the truth is they said she had to pay to be seen and she couldn't so in my book that's sending her away.
To top things off the Medicaid worker is not returing our birthmom's calls and so we have no idea if and when that will get straightened out.
I guess the office manager today just kind of really ticked me off. I ended up feeling like the office has some real judgemental stuff towards low income people and adoption. Even when we went in to pay the deposit they kind of made a few comments like, "oh she's not married huh?" and then when I spoke with the woman today she said, "oh it's a wonderful thing you're doing for her." Nice of her to say that but hey what about how nice of our birthmom is to be giving US this gift? I'm feeling a little protective of her I think.
It's probably just PMS or over sensitivity on my part but I'm stressed. LOL
How have you guys gotten through this? At times I just feel like giving up. Don't worry that won't happen but today I'm at my limit!
__________________ "To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children...to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived...THIS IS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED" Ralph Waldo Emerson
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THANKS I really needed that! I just love our little birthmom and would hate for anything to happen to her and of course our little Katherine.
__________________ "To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children...to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived...THIS IS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED" Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Ok I just have to say this to everybody here!!!!!!! I don't know if any of you watch Dr. Phil (I'm guessing I'm not the only one...lol) but he talks about having a home that is a "safe place to fall" meaning that you can count on the people to cushion life's stumbling blocks and I just have to say that you ALL are my soft place to fall online! I belong to other message boards and even moderate my own but there is something very special about soulcysters. I am so appreciative to all of you and Kat for starting this board. HUGS and WARM THOUGHTS to all of you!!!
Warmly,
Julia
__________________ "To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children...to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived...THIS IS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED" Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Awww.. thanks! We're glad to be here!!! My husband just mentioned that I'm "coshy" today and it's kinda funny to be refered to as a soft place to fall!!! lol **wink** Glad that you are finding comfort here!
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Married December, 20, 2003
TTC since April 16, 2005
Diagnosed October 5, 2005
Adoption Hopefully in 2007
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I got an email from the social worker from our agency today and she recommended that I take her to the Medicaid office and see if I can help her get things straightened out. I think that's a pretty good idea actually. I'm going to try to do it next week weather permitting.
Julia
__________________ "To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children...to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived...THIS IS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED" Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Julia( oooh I loooove your name)
I just wanted to send you a (((((((((((((((((HUGE HUG)))))))))))
I am sorry that you are going through this...just close your eyes and take a deep breath!!!
it will be okay...just picture 16weeks from now...a sunny JUNE day with your Katherine in your arms.. Everything will be okay in the end....if it is not okay..it is not the end....
-rani
__________________ -Rania MARRIED SINCE 07/2001 TTC since 02/2004 - lost a baby 04/2004
I dont have any advise since I am not in the States but I do wish your Birthmom would get better and that your baby is safe and healthy ...
So sorry people have to get treated this way...it really sucks..even more-so since these people are medical professionals and know they are needed !!!
The nerve *tsk tsk*
Take care !
Amy
p.s. I love your daughters name !
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Oct 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Nov 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
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Sending you hugs and lots of positive thoughts that everything gets straightened out soon. That little baby & BM deserve all the tender loving care in the world--those people should be ashamed!
((((HUGS))))
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Happily married for 19 years & mommy to 3 beautiful daughters
~13 year old (born preemie @ 24 weeks), 5.5 year old & 3.5 year old (both born in China!)~
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Julia> *hugs* What an aggravating experience! Can you try to find her a different, more ethical, doctor? I thought doctor's were required to treat people who were in medical need, as it sounds like she was, whether they can pay or not?!
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Brandy(33) DH Dan(33)
DS Samuel Sebastian(6) - Adopted from Colombia
DD Isabelle Caiyi(5) - Adopted from China
RNY Gastric Bypass surgery 1/30/2009
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Personally, I would find her a new dr... In fact, most places have hospitals where if you can't pay they still have to treat you (I know that our major city has one where everyone that's not even a citizen goes & has their babies b/c they don't have to pay...).
I'm sorry you're going through this & that there are ignorant people in this world that you have to deal with!
{{{{HUGS}}}}
Traci
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Thanks for all the help everybody! I just sent our birth mom a note saying we'd help her switch back to her old OB/GYN if she wants. Waiting to hear what she wants to do.
__________________ "To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children...to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived...THIS IS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED" Ralph Waldo Emerson
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A grrrr moment 
I just love our little birthmom and would hate for anything to happen to her and of course our little Katherine.
i hope everything gets worked out soon
