How do you deal with it? I am exteremly sensitve about my facial hair issues (mostly on my chin and under chin) .. that i have to shave every other day .... and sometimes i get too hurried that i forget to shave. One co worker has pointed it out and I got really mad :Mad:
she has told other co worker that I have to shave and was laughing about it. I was sooo LIVID
Some people are so rude and insensitive. I haven't had this happen (at least no one had ever said anything in front of me) but I would be really mad too. Are these people you have gotten along with? Maybe they just think they are teasing you and don't realize that it is really bothering you. If they aren't people you have gotten along with and are intentionally trying to be cruel then shame on them. I wish I had some advice for you on how to deal with this but I have never been in this situation. Hopefully, one of the girls will be able to help you out. Good luck!!!
I would be really upset, too. Your coworker may not realize it, but that is harrassment. She is belittling you based on your appearance. I think you should pull her aside and tell her how sensitive an issue this is for you, especially because it is only one symptom of pcos, and you'd appreciate her leaving the subject alone. If that doesn't work, I would be inclined to go the HR about it.
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I'm sorry about that. Sometimes people are really jerks. I like Diamond's suggestion. This is your workplace & you shouldn't have to deal with that. I've never had anyone say anything to me about my excess hair, but now I'm thinking I should have a prepared line. You know how sometimes you get insulted, & you think of a good comeback 20 minutes later? Well that's happened to me many times about other things. I guess it depends on who's saying the mean thing. Sometimes a brief explanation about PCOS, or saying it's a medical condition will be a good response. But some people are just nasty & will want to put you down to make themselves feel better. In that case it might be best to ignore them, or just point out how rude they're being.
But I can tell you this. Don't let what others say get you down. It takes practice, but you can get to the point where mean comments will not bother you. I know this from personal experience. When people used to make fun of my weight it would ruin my day. I would get furious & sometimes sad. Now it doesn't affect me. Just think about where these comments are coming from. There is something wrong with people who try to hurt others. Pity them, that they are so hateful & juvenile. What they say doesn't matter.
__________________ Age- 30
Officially diagnosed with PCOS in Feb. 2005. Also have Type 2 Diabetes & Hashimoto's Disease.
Currently taking 2000 mg Metformin, .112 mg Synthroid, 10 mg Lisinopril and 10 mg Lipitor.
It always strikes me as completely juvenile when grown adults have to make fun of people. Don't people grow out of that in High School?
I know it suprises me a LOT in my adult life how many people act like children still even though they are supposidly grown up !!! ... a friend of mine is acting more like a teenager in both her attitude and her actions that I wonder if we have ANYTHIGN in common at all anymore ...
they seriosly need a dose of facial hair !!!
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I'm so sorry that this happened to you. It always alarms me how insensitive / immature / mean / etc. people can be.
If this happened to me, I would speak to that person directly. I'd ask to speak with him/her (alone) and raise the issue with them. I would come right out and ask what exactly they felt was so funny about this. What I have found, is that typically when bullies (and this person is a bully) are confronted like this, they totally cower. You do not need to go into the details with this person, but I would advise them that you have a medical condition and you find it really surprising that someone would make fun of something that is very personal to you, and then ask them why they did it. I bet this person will be at a complete loss for anything reasonable to say and they will most likely apologize and will most definitely feel extremely embarrassed of their behaviour (as they should be).
I think that this type of situation is best handled in a direct manner, otherwise, the bullying will continue.
If this doesn't work and put an end to it, I would then either speak with your supervisor or the Human Resources department about this situation.
Remember - you should not be the one feeling uncomfortable about this - the person who felt it necessary to make nasty jokes is the one that should feel embarrassed for acting in such a horrible way towards you.
How do you deal with it? I am exteremly sensitve about my facial hair issues (mostly on my chin and under chin) .. that i have to shave every other day .... and sometimes i get too hurried that i forget to shave. One co worker has pointed it out and I got really mad :Mad:
she has told other co worker that I have to shave and was laughing about it. I was sooo LIVID
I'm sorry you've had such a horrible experience.
I think I'd take a slightly different line on it from most of the folk who have written here.
The problem is that if we differ in any way from society's ideal, we're likely to get teased or mocked -- flat-chested women, big women, hairy women, bald men, small men, and so on. Even if you never had to see those horrible women again, the problem might reappear with different co-workers. So I reckon a different tack is needed.
1. How about shaving every day? Much easier to remember and make time for if it's part of everyday routine at least during the week. And if you use a (men's type) electric razor it'll take far less time. Much less chance of forgetting or having visible stubble.
2. Not much point in telling off those horrible creatures, IMHO. Just act politely towards them, do everything that's required in your relating to them, but don't act over-friendly. Give them nothing that they can legitimately hold against you.
3. Make doubly sure you do your job as reliably as you can and that your bosses know that you're pulling your weight.
Why should anyone have to work twice as hard as the rest of the team just because she has facial hair and is being bullied by colleagues? I find that so offensive, because I've been in her position! Why should we have to work harder than all of my team-mates, just because we're overweight and have facial hair?
We should give our best to our jobs. And treat people with respect - which is what we're doing. And the JERKS who are behaving like they are should be expected to do the same, not just bully people for the fun of it.
Why should anyone have to work twice as hard as the rest of the team just because she has facial hair and is being bullied by colleagues? I find that so offensive, because I've been in her position! Why should we have to work harder than all of my team-mates, just because we're overweight and have facial hair?
No-one should have to and no-one has to.
Quote:
We should give our best to our jobs. And treat people with respect - which is what we're doing. And the JERKS who are behaving like they are should be expected to do the same, not just bully people for the fun of it.
Quite.
But the question is one of how we respond when they don't behave like civilized human beings.
Fair enough -- if you want to take the confrontational route, that's fine. But I think that just sets you up for more mocking. Keep the relationship profesional and give them nothing to mock and they'll get tired eventually. Years ago I used to work in a rather rowdy office. One 17 year old girl got teased by a lot of the men about her moustache. Eventually she started shaving and the teasing soon stopped. The moustache wasn't there any more. After a day or two nothing more was said. She'd removed the thing that gave them a chance to comment. Of course it shouldn't have happened, but that's life.
I understand where joyblack is coming from in suggesting the non-confrontational approach. Sometimes confrontations are productive and othertimes they backfire. Suppose she confronts these women and it makes them mad. They could try to make her look like the bad one who is causing problems. After all there are two of them and if management got involved it would be 2 peoples word against one. The route that she decides to take will probably have a lot to do with the state of office politics where she works and the relationship she has with her superiors, etc. Hopefully, the situation will get resolved and she won't have to continue going through this.
No-one is suggesting that you should be confrontational - just ask them honestly why they feel the need to make fun of you. No one is suggesting that you bail them up and say "Why the hell are you being such a b!tch to me." Just a simple "Can I ask you why you feel the need to make fun of me?" Nothing confrontational about that - just the simple right to be treated with respect.
And caving in and shaving your moustache off just to stop the teasing is in the long run just going to make you feel like you have something else to hide about yourself. I wish I'd never done it now.
I like the "can I ask you why you feel you need to make fun of me"
its a gentle confrontation that puts the offending co-worker on the spot to answer you ... then after that I would take joyblacks advise to lay low and carry on about your business as normal...
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Hair issues and co workers and work 
- has she stopped being a jerk?
