hard time dealing with life.. just watching it pass me by

so confused · 06-20-2003, 11:20 PM

here we go again!

I've been having such a hard time dealing with my "issues" as I like to call them. It seems I'm never happy or motivated anymore. I'm having a hard time holding down a job, going to school-it's a wonder i even made it to graduation, even having a hard time with my social life. I want this to stop already there's not much more I can take. I always have to literally force myself to do anything nowadays or else i just won't. My grades in school suffered, my job performance as well, u name it. I just received an email from my internship wondering where I've been and how come I haven't shown up... how can I tell them it's because I don't want to leave my room and I just want to hide under the covers? How can I tell them it's because I feel so ugly and inferior to the rest of the world? I'm running out of excuses to tell them. I seriously need to stop this because you only get one chance at life! And i thank these boards for giving us a place to blow off steam lol!!!

SheriKCMO · 06-21-2003, 12:52 AM

You are so sweet. I wish you could see yourself the way that others do. [Sheri pauses to recall several times she has heard this speech from her hubby.] You are lovely and important. You have been an important presence here on the boards, and you deserve to be having fun and feeling good. I have to tell you that my moods really improved as my hormones started straightening out. Metformin helped me with that, but others have gotten help from herbs and lifestyle changes. You need to call your internship people and tell them that you haven't felt well lately but that you'll be there Monday. Please take a bite out of life, because it is really enjoyable once you start feeling good. The only way you can do that is to make a change and get out from your hiding place.

We're here for you anytime,
Sheri

pleasantlyblew · 06-21-2003, 01:11 AM

so confused,

I am so sorry you are feeling so awful. I have suffered with depression, on and off, since I was 12 years old and I'm now 33.

It concerns me that you are losing interest in your everyday life and withdrawing into yourself, as that is a very serious problem. Have you been diagnosed with depression? You may find that an anti-depressant, taken for a period of time, may make you feel better equipped to face the world and may give you back some motivation. If you don't want to take the meds route, how about the herb St John's Wort? I took this in the past and it does take a couple of months to start working properly but I found it very helpful.

I also notice in your signature that you seem to have symptoms of PCOS, which are undiagnosed. Perhaps you should find another Dr who can help you with all these symptoms. Depression often occurs in cysters with PCOS, as the hormone levels are so out of whack, plus if you have these symptoms and no-one is helping you to sort them out, that is enough in itself to make you feel depressed.

I don't know if this would help you but I have been low-carbing since February and I have managed to lose 28 pounds. I have been overweight since I was 19/20 and could never lose any weight with any dieting/exercise regimes before. Since adopting this WOE, I have never felt better and my depression and PMS have lessened so dramatically it has changed my life. At first it was very difficult for 2 weeks but then gradually after that, it became much easier and now it is second nature for me. If you have difficulty losing weight, it is likely that you have some degree of insulin resistance and if this is the case, your body may react to sugars/carbs as if it were poison. Therefore by restricting these foods in your diet, you put less of a stress on your body and it is better able to function, thereby enabling you to lose weight and feel better mentally as well as physically.

I became very reclusive a few years ago, so I know how you feel in that respect. If you continue to avoid people/situations it will become far more difficult to stop the cycle and you may end up with a serious disorder like agoraphobia. You sound like you have problems with self esteem and if this is the case, you need to begin by not being so hard on yourself. You have achieved so much, please be proud of who you are. You are obviously a very talented girl and it would be shame to let all that go to waste. There must be someone you can confide in, who could help you out of this rut? If you can get treatment for your many symptoms, in time you will begin to feel more positive about yourself and you will realise that you are a beautiful person.

Eating a low-fat diet can create depression in many people, as we need a certain amount of fat for a healthy central nervous system. Being addicted to sweet sugary foods can make your blood sugar levels peak and trough in such an erratic way, that you end up with your emotions paralleling what your blood sugar levels are doing. If you comfort eat, you may find that you always reach for foods high in carbs like bread, candy, potatoes, cakes, etc. and these will make you feel sluggish and tired. Try upping your protein intake and grab a piece of cheese for example, instead of some bread and you may find you begin to emerge from your lows.

I really hope you feel better soon. Remember you are never alone

Nikki x