Has adoptions changed a lot?

Mrs. Mcboozlin · 06-27-2007, 12:53 PM

HI..
first of all let me say.. Yes I dont know much about adoption. but im going
to start reading the proper books and learn.

But.. now..

Is it foolish to think. when the time comes to go to an agencie.. do the homestudy and get a baby in a year ? A caucasion white male?

I see so many things with birth mother and letters. and pick me and such.
do they do it the old fashion way any more? just say what your looking for and someone finds the child and you adopt it?
I dont mean to sound upsetting to anyone who preferes the birth mother to be involved. I am just used to seeing things done the other way.

Any comments welcomed!

Jamie-bubbles · 06-27-2007, 01:48 PM

I do believe that they have open and closed adoptions, you can chose which you want, open means that the birthmom is a part of the adoption plan.

babygirl18905 · 06-27-2007, 04:22 PM

I adopted my son in March, I took him home at 8 days old and it took us from start to finish about 7 months of course he is a full african american baby and they did tell me you can wait a year or in most cases even longer to adopt a caucasion baby. Our adoption is fully closed the agency chose us because the birthmother did not want to know anything she does not even know if she had a boy or girl she gave birth and left. We HAVE TOO send updated pictures and letters for the first year that is the agency rule and until now she has never asked for them. As a matter of fact she has really just disappeared changed her address, phone number everything. We did have to do a profile or depending on the agency they can do the profile for you for a fee. You would just answer some questions submit a ton of pictures and they would build it the way they think it would lok appealing to prospective birthparents.

Good Luck if you need anything else just let me know.

Miss-Meme · 06-28-2007, 08:19 AM

I think now a days most birthmothers want to be involved. There are some like in babygirls case that done.

But I was told that if you pick what sex you want, you will wait longer. (the wait might be longer any ways in your area with an caucasion) Plus if the birthmother wants nothing to do with it, more then likely she's not going to know what sex it is, as in babygirls case.

Everyone worries what a birthmother won't pick them. But there is a child out there for everyone! There is some bmom that will pick you because you looked like her childhood friend, or that you like dogs, or that you this or that. For what ever reason she will pick you.

I know that some agencies also have you get on the list then after a year or so if you are still waiting then you can go on the last minute list, which means if there is a bmom that wants to place but not want to pick, they pick. Which a lot of times I think at that point is from the top of the list, those waiting the longest. But each agency is different.

Good luck

spookycyster · 06-28-2007, 08:30 AM

I think it depends on the agency you go with as well. We had to make a 'life book' for the prospective birthmothers to look at---basically an interview for us, without us there. The lifebooks were shared with bms and it was the bm who would specify what kind of family they were looking for for their child (2 parent home, SAHM mom, more than one child, religious preferrence, that sort of thing). I know our book was shared with several girls and we had been selected by a bm but I turned the placement down due to the baby's severe severe severe illness (baby has since been adopted into a family that specifically requested special needs babies and they are all doing great). Our agency lets the bm decide if they want to pick adoptive parents or if they just want to leave it up to the agency to place the child.

Our agency also told us it would be a 12-18 month wait for a caucasian newborn. We did not specify sex. Our wait was 3 very very very short months. Totally atypical, but I think everything happens for a reason. Our adoption is closed---we have met her and her mother, but she doesn't know our last name or address. All contact is thru the agency. This is what we both wanted.

Good luck to you in whatever you decide.

Mrs. Mcboozlin · 06-28-2007, 10:29 AM

It doesnt have to be a newborn for us.. could be
newborn to 4 years old..

Think it would still take a year for a 2 or 3 year old?

Miss-Meme · 06-29-2007, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs. Mcboozlin

It doesnt have to be a newborn for us.. could be
newborn to 4 years old..

Think it would still take a year for a 2 or 3 year old?

Then you might want to look into foster to adopt.

ProudPCOMom · 06-29-2007, 06:00 PM

Most (I won't say all) non-newborns that would be available for adoption would come from the states' foster care systems. A large percentage of the healthy young children from foster care are adopted by their foster parents. Lots of foster parents are dual-licensed to foster and adopt - that what we are doing.

Once we were licensed, we had a 1 yr old in our home in 3 days (depends on the needs of CPS at the time) - granted he is foster at this time. We also have a 2 yr old in our home who moved in about 6 weeks later - again foster at this time. We would be happy to keep either one or both - they are such little sweeties.

I know lots of people who don't want to deal with the ups/downs/trials of foster care and can't handle the possible loss of children - we are willing to take that risk.

For those who don't want to risk the children in their care leaving - there is also straight adopt through CPS. Your homestudy would go against all of the others who submitted for that child and CPS decides who is the best match.

Good luck in your decision.