Has anyone else ever felt this way?

BlueAngel22 · 09-22-2005, 05:31 PM

I was raised in a very religious family, and a very loving church. Until I was 16 or 17 years old (I am now 22), I was a very devoted Christian. That is when I began to question my faith, and by the time I started college, I had become an atheist. I am 100% thankful for the fact that I grew up within the Church, because it made me who I am today and served as the basis for my values.

Lately, I have been feeling depressed, and I have found myself thinking a lot about the spirituality that used to bring me so much comfort. I pray when I am upset, and sometimes when I'm not, and it brings me so much peace. I have been stopping on Christian radio stations to listen to discussions. I have also started to sing Christian songs to myself quite often, and it usually leads to at least a few tears. I have thought about returning to my church, or going to another one sometime. I find so much comfort and hope in doing these things.

I know some people might think this is ridiculous. I still can honestly say that I don't believe in God, yet I am finding myself completely drawn to Christianity. I'm assuming that this is happening because my church and spirituality and religion were my support in childhood, and I was taught to turn to God for strength from birth.

I admire the primary values behind Christianity - love, integrety, morality, community... But I know that the emphasis of the religion is believing in God and Jesus Christ. I simply do not believe, and I cannot pretend that I do. It's such a confusing feeling...

Am I crazy?

ChloeM · 09-22-2005, 06:05 PM

Hello BlueAngel,
First off all I want to let you know you are not crazy and you are to be commended for opening up to something so personal.I know you first mentioned you grew up in a christian home for years..I would first start off saying that if your were truly saved as a child(excepted Jesus Christ in your heart)than your always saved.No matter what.Now when you went to college,I don't kow what happened to make you question or doubt your faith or God all together.It could have been you got away from your foundation,your support system,your family.Not saying that you stopped talking with them,but just got out of there atmosphere.The devil is cleaver.He knows at what time to get us going.I don't know if after you went away to college that you maintained your "christian walk"there or not.What I mean by that is,I don't know if you had other christan friends @ your school,if you attended church services,if you bascially didn't stop doing anything you were doing prior to college.If so,that'e were the "detour"may have came.I believe that all Christians,even the best of us go thru a point in life that I faith gets tested,some of us it's thru death,it's thru change,it's thru failure,whatever it may be.Now the difference is how we react when this happens.See I'm a living witness,that one of the greatest tactics Satan uses is our "realities".Yes he come with lies,he comes to steal,kill,and destroy,but if he can use something or do something that makes sense,then he's got a stronger influence.Now back to my first post,If you were really saved when your were younger,you'll always be saved.That's why inspite of your faith weakening or your doubt,you still find yourself drawn to Christianity.See God is so gracious and merciful that although we may leave Him,He'll never leave us!!!Psa 139:8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou [art] there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou [art there]. So see God is faithful and true and He'll NEVER us no matter how high or low we go in life.Out of love,He'll keep calling us back to Him,which is what I hear Him doing in/thru you at this point in your life....Now to close this,(if I can!!!

)The Trinity(God,Jesus,and the Holy Spirit)is VERY real.Maybe growing up no one really taught you or maybe they did but you never could really grasp,how 3 people can be one,or 1 person can operate in 3 capacities,or whatever the logic maybe and that's OK.I would LOVE,absoutely LOVE to break this down to you and pray with you.I believe that you are a Christian and just have some questions about what you say youu beleive so that you can be @ peace.Please IM me on AOL,email me,and or I can give u my home number and we can speak that way.
Be Blessed~

email- misschloemm@yahoo.com
IM on AOL- Godschild00
hm #-(email me!!!)

rainbow85 · 09-22-2005, 06:38 PM

I think you are right. A lot of times when we are upset we quickly run to the things that comforted us when we were children. It reminds you of when you were little and your problems were so simple they could be made better by 3 kisses from a parent. It's very very comforting to feel "like a kid again," especially when you feel like things are out of your control.

Just because you are finding yourself looking for the comfort you feel with songs or things from childhood doesn't mean you miss your religion. Religion can be much more than just beliefs, the songs and stories you remember are very cultural. You can be drawn to those things without being drawn to god or jesus.

DiamondInTheRough · 09-23-2005, 12:47 AM

I suppose my question for you would be why you feel the way you do about the existence of God?

Thanks!

Tharaa · 09-23-2005, 11:37 AM

Yes I have felt the way you do....

That longing to return to God is no accident.The Lord is calling you back......Whether you believe that or not,the truth is we have no peace without God.

I am not trying to preach at you,but thats what I do believe........

I grew up in a non-religious home,but I grew up having moments of talking to God.....I explored many facets of spirituality,and strayed as far from Christianity as one can possibly go....that peace was never returned to me....Like you I started longing to have that feeling of inner peace inside of me...thats when I turned over to God....Its not an easy road,you will have doubts,you will question it....but when you get born again he comes to LIVE inside your heart...You cannot get to God through your intellect,but through your heart......

Mustard Seed · 09-23-2005, 05:45 PM

I agree with Tharaa...

Quote:

That longing to return to God is no accident.The Lord is calling you back......Whether you believe that or not,the truth is we have no peace without God.

I grew up in a Christian family as well, and believed very early. Not that I haven't had my moments of doubt, or walks through the valley of shadows... but I know that God has always been there with me, even when I've wanted to rebel against Him. I've been struggling lately with my pcos - you know, questioning why God would make me with so many problems that "normal" women don't have to deal with. But then I was reminded of that verse in John 9 where the disciples ask Jesus if a man who was blind was born that way because he sinned, or because his parents sinned, and Jesus answered that neither did, but that the man was born that way so that the glory of God might be displayed in his life. It was such a comfort to me to remember that verse because I realized then that God has made me a specific way for a specific reason, and if my attitude is in line with Him, His glory will be displayed in my life because of the struggles I've been through as well.

All that is to say that if you are finding peace in Christian songs and radio programs, you may actually believe more than you want to admit right now. God only promises peace through His word to those who believe in Him. I hope you are able to continue your search until His peace erases all doubts you may have.

<Oomis> · 09-23-2005, 05:58 PM

I guess I am totally confused because how can you believe in Christianity and not believe in God or His existance? If you are praying who are you praying too and who is hearing your prayers? I feel that God is working in your heart to make you have this feeling. No, you are not crazy at all. You are working with your feelings and not against them. Good luck to you on your journey.

Mustard Seed - I know what you mean about struggling with the "Why Me's" with PCOS. I don't know if this will help but I was saying that to God and I had the sudden feeling of "at least you are not dying of cancer, at least someone close to you is not dying of a terrible disease". Since then I am thankful for my PCOS in a way because deep down I know I could have it much much worse. I have taken that outlook in many different areas in my life also. It really helps.

Jashobeam · 09-23-2005, 06:09 PM

You are not alone. 80% of all people raised in a Christian home, but attend a non-Christian school end up leaving church and by most studies are still out of church into their 20s. Many never return to church. Even if you do not believe in God it sounds as if He believes in you and is drawing you to Him. Christainity is about Faith. It's about believeing in a God you cannot see. Some think that is contrary to reason, but it's not. Many of the founders of the different branches of science were Christians. They understood the natural world, but believed in the Creator.

If you accepted Christ as your Savoiur, He is still there for you. Even when Peter in the Bible said he didn't know Christ, Christ still prayed for him and called him back.

~Lisa~ · 09-24-2005, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jashobeam

You are not alone. 80% of all people raised in a Christian home, but attend a non-Christian school end up leaving church and by most studies are still out of church into their 20s. Many never return to church. Even if you do not believe in God it sounds as if He believes in you and is drawing you to Him. Christainity is about Faith. It's about believeing in a God you cannot see. Some think that is contrary to reason, but it's not. Many of the founders of the different branches of science were Christians. They understood the natural world, but believed in the Creator.

If you accepted Christ as your Savoiur, He is still there for you. Even when Peter in the Bible said he didn't know Christ, Christ still prayed for him and called him back.

i agree

alliern · 09-24-2005, 11:41 AM

I think that I am asking the same question that Oomis asked...who do you think is bringing you that comfort and peace? If it were yourself (which is what most athesists believe-NO GOd wahtsoever, so man is in charge and can create their destiny) then why would you need to pray to yourself to get comfort. God does not give up on his children-remember the parable that Jesus told about the shepard going out and leaving his flock to get the one sheep that wandered away? The Holy Spirit is obviously speaking to your heart.
I am not trying to dog you out or anything, but why are you so emphatic re: your atheistic beliefs?

Dazee52 · 09-26-2005, 11:47 PM

I believe that God is calling you back....embrace it,a nd find peace and comfort in it.

Kittycat · 09-27-2005, 12:26 AM

What has led you to believe that God doesn't exist? There is very compelling evidence for the existence of a creator.
I went through much the same thing you are talking about in the sense that I believed in God as a child and belonged to a religious family, but later I fell away and lived my own life outside that belief system, but retained many of the values from it. I must tell you that I started to experience what you are talking about now, and I began questioning what was going on in my heart. I want to tell you that it is Jesus calling you to Him. He says in Revelation 3 : "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice I will come in and dine with him, and he with Me." . I ended up dedicating my life to the Lord (long story) and I now work in full time ministry.

I have a bit of advice for you. If you don't believe that God is there, why not tell him so. Challenge Him. Ask sincerely from your heart that if He is there, to reveal himself to you and see what happens. It may take awhile but He will show up. I don't mean that He will appear to you, but you will KNOW. Just try it and see. But you have to ask sincerely, with a true desire.

october_sky · 09-29-2005, 04:32 AM

I was in your same situation a few years ago. I know EXACTLY what you mean by finding comfort in praying, singing and radio discussions but not believing in God. Don't believe in him if you don't want to, don't let other people tell you what to believe. It's your faith (or lackof). Maybe God isn't "calling you back" at all. (Yeah I know that comment is going to ruffle a few feathers, but oh well).

I totally agree with Rainbow. Maybe you need to find comfort in a greater sense by remembering what it felt like to be a child. Try getting out your old toys and stuffed animals, visit the town you grew up in, reading books from your childhood. Ask your parents to tell you stories about your childhood.

My point is that not everything that has to do with religion is about God/Higher Being.

debelah · 09-30-2005, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueAngel22

Am I crazy?

In my opinion, if you're specifically drawn to Christianity...that IS Christ calling you back. He IS Christianity... No ifs, ands, or buts...

There are many other religions with values similar to Christianity. The difference is Christ.

Contrary to an earlier post, I don't think anyone is telling you what to believe. They are offering their OPINION on your situation - as posted. Take it or leave it.

BTW, when you pray, who/what are you praying to?

Do you pray 'for' things? Who are you hoping is listening?

DiamondInTheRough · 10-01-2005, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by debelah

In my opinion, if you're specifically drawn to Christianity...that IS Christ calling you back. He IS Christianity... No ifs, ands, or buts...

There are many other religions with values similar to Christianity. The difference is Christ.

Contrary to an earlier post, I don't think anyone is telling you what to believe. They are offering their OPINION on your situation - as posted. Take it or leave it.

BTW, when you pray, who/what are you praying to?

Do you pray 'for' things? Who are you hoping is listening?

debelah, I feel your comment about the difference between Christianity and other religions being Christ, simply isn't true.

I am a Muslim, and the fact is that I could not call myself that unless I believed in Christ. In fact, there is no Muslim on earth who could be accepted as such without sharing this belief. I love and respect Jesus as I do all Prophets and Messengers of God, including Adam, Abraham, Moses, Noah, David...and many more.

The following excerpt from soundvision.com pretty much sums up our belief regarding Jesus Christ (peace and blessings be upon him):

1. Do Muslims believe he was a Messenger of One God? YES

Belief in all of the Prophets and Messengers of God is a fundamental article of faith in Islam. Thus, believing in Prophets Adam, Jesus, Moses, and Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon them) is a requirement for anyone who calls him or herself a Muslim. A person claiming to be a Muslim who, for instance, denies the Messengership of Jesus, is not considered a Muslim.

The Quran says in reference to the status of Jesus as a Messenger:

"The Messiah (Jesus), son of Mary, was no more than a Messenger before whom many Messengers have passed away; and his mother adhered wholly to truthfulness, and they both ate food (as other mortals do). See how We make Our signs clear to them; and see where they are turning away!" (Quran 5:75).

2. Do Muslims believe he was born of a Virgin Mother? YES

Like Christians, Muslims believe Mary, Maria in Spanish, or Maryam as she is called in Arabic, was a chaste, virgin woman, who miraculously gave birth to Jesus.

"Relate in the Book the story of Mary, when she withdrew from her family, to a place in the East. She screened herself from them; then We sent to her Our spirit (angel Gabriel) and he appeared before her as a man in all respects. She said: I seek refuge from you in God Most Gracious (come not near) if you do fear God. He said: Nay, I am only a Messenger from your Lord, to announce to you the gift of a pure son. She said: How shall I have a son, when no man has ever touched me, and I am not unchaste? He said: So it will be, your Lord says: ‘That is easy for Me; and We wish to appoint him as a sign unto men and a Mercy from Us': It was a matter so decreed" (Quran 19:16-21).

3. Do Muslims believe Jesus had a miraculous birth? YES

The Quran says:

"She (Mary) said: ‘O my Lord! How shall I have a son when no man has touched me.' He (God) said: ‘So (it will be) for God creates what He wills. When He has decreed something, He says to it only: ‘Be!'- and it is" (3:47).

It should also be noted about his birth that:

"Verily, the likeness of Jesus in God's Sight is the likeness of Adam. He (God) created him from dust, then (He) said to him: ‘Be!'-and he was" (Quran 3:59).

4. Do Muslims believe Jesus spoke in the cradle? YES

"Then she (Mary) pointed to him. They said: ‘How can we talk to one who is a child in the cradle?' He (Jesus) said: ‘Verily! I am a slave of God, He has given me the Scripture and made me a Prophet; " (19:29-30).

5. Do Muslims believe he performed miracles? YES

Muslims, like Christians believe Jesus performed miracles. But these were performed by the will and permission of God, Who has power and control over all things.

"Then will God say: ‘O Jesus the son of Mary! recount My favor to you and to your mother. Behold! I strengthened you with the Holy Spirit (the angel Gabriel) so that you did speak to the people in childhood and in maturity. Behold! I taught you the Book and Wisdom, the Law and the Gospel. And behold: you make out of clay, as it were, the figure of a bird, by My leave, and you breathe into it, and it becomes a bird by My leave, and you heal those born blind, and the lepers by My leave. And behold! you bring forth the dead by My leave. And behold! I did restrain the children of Israel from (violence to you) when you did show them the Clear Signs, and the unbelievers among them said: ‘This is nothing but evident magic' (5:110).

6. Do Muslims believe in the Trinity? NO

Muslims believe in the Absolute Oneness of God, Who is a Supreme Being free of human limitations, needs and wants. He has no partners in His Divinity. He is the Creator of everything and is completely separate from His creation.

God says in the Quran regarding the Trinity:

"People of the Book (Jews and Christians)! Do not exceed the limits in your religion, and attribute to God nothing except the truth. The Messiah, Jesus, son of Mary, was only a Messenger of God, and His command that He conveyed unto Mary, and a spirit from Him. So believe in God and in His Messengers, and do not say: ‘God is a Trinity.' Give up this assertion; it would be better for you. God is indeed just One God. Far be it from His glory that He should have a son. To Him belongs all that is in the heavens and in the earth. God is sufficient for a guardian" (Quran 4:171).

7. Do Muslims believe that Jesus was the son of God? NO

"Say: "God is Unique! God, the Source [of everything]. He has not fathered anyone nor was He fathered, and there is nothing comparable to Him!" (Quran 112:1-4).

The Quran also states:

"Such was Jesus, the son of Mary; it is a statement of truth, about which they vainly dispute. It is not befitting to the majesty of God, that He should beget a son. Glory be to Him! When He determines a matter, He only says to it, ‘Be' and it is" (Quran 19:34-35).

8. Do Muslims believe Jesus was killed on the cross then resurrected? NO

"“They did not kill him, nor did they crucify him, but they thought they did.” (Quran 4:156) “God lifted him up to His presence. God is Almighty, All-Wise” (Quran 4:157) .