Dylan&Mommy6a.JPGMy husband & I had our son Aug. 16, 2007 @ 28weeks. I had gone to the hospital Aug. 13 because I hadn't felt Dylan kick for quite sometime. When I got there they found no heart beat. It was the worst moment of my life. The induced me but I didn't deliver until Aug. 16.
I'm just wondering if anyone has been through this and how long does it take for the bleeding to stop? If you have had this did they ever find a cause as to why your angel didn't make it? I was told that Dylan probably laid on the cord and stopped all blood and oxygen to him. My husband and I want to try again as soon as possible. But we have to wait for the test results to ome back before we try. It could take up to 12 weeks and I'm having a hard time with that. PLease let me know any info you may have.
Thank you!
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Last edited by sunshine071899; 08-24-2007 at 02:48 AM.
I'm so so so sorry. Dylan is beautiful.
I had a stillborn baby boy on December 13, 2005. I'd hadn't felt him for awhile either, and i went to the hospital b/c I was leaking amniotic fluid and having really bad cramps. I was already in labor, but they didn't believe me. (My doctor realized my water was leaking, so he sent me to the hospital. He wasn't high-risk, so he couldn't treat me.) We thought I was just in PTL, and that he'd be ok. He was still moving a little bit, and we picked up his heartbeat. When we got to the hospital, they did a u/s and found severe birth defects. They told us he wasn't going to make it.
They wanted to keep me in the hospital overnight. They came and talked to us about being induced early. I guess in my state its illegal to be induced at 28 weeks unless it was better for the baby to come now.
It didn't matter, I went into labor the night I was admitted. That was the saddest moment of my life. But we got to hold him and sing to him. We told him how much we loved him, and wanted him. We got 2 rolls of pictures.
Have you done a service for him? That brought some closure. We buried Eric next to my grandmother, in my family plot. A lot of parents don't want to bury their angels though.
I bled for 3 weeks. They treated it like a "normal" birth, and I would bleed for as long as anyone else, although with our second baby, I bled for 11 weeks.
They did find a cause, either Amniotic Band Syndrome or Limb-Body Wall Complex. LBWC is fatal. ABS half the time. They did an amnio and we got the results in Feb. They wanted me to have other tests done, for clotting disorders and a couple other things. I didn't, somewhat foolishingly. I got pregnant 5 months after Eric was born, and our second is so healthy. I wouldn't tradehim for the world. I put it in God's hands though.
I really wanted to try again fast too, but I'm glad we had to wait. It gave me time to grieve Eric. I can also tell you that I was so nervous the whole time I was pregnant. I had lost all innocence. What are they testing for?
You could try going to silentgrief.com or nationalshareoffice.com. National Share Office has a newsletter they send out 6 times a year for parents who have lost a baby. Hugs again for you. You're in my thoughts.
Dylan is beautiful. I didn't have a stillborn, but my son Hudson was born in a preterm birth at 22weeks and only lived a few minutes. My problem was an incompetent cervix. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's only been a month for me, and I remember how hard that was. Thank you for sharing your pictures with us. I know they will be a precious thing for you for years to come.
After my 22wk pregnancy (my first) I bled for 21 days. I found that was a pretty common answer when I asked on the board.
My husband and I just started TTC yesterday (after we got the ok from doc). It is early - but it took us 4 years to get pregant the last time and I recovered quite quickly. My cycles were very irregular, so we have to go through the time to get fertility help again, because they want to see if my cycle will start on its own.
I know that it doesn't feel like it, but after you return home and routines start again, the time will pass faster than you think. Remember to give yourself time to grieve and to heal. This is one of the hardest things you've probably ever gone through. You'll feel lost, I know. This board will help.
I didn't but my friend did and she got some great support, commradarie (sp?)....and friendship from women in her own shoes at silentgrief.com.....
there is a stillborn message board.
May brighter days be ahead for you....you suddenly became wiser beyond your years....I am sorry for your loss
__________________ Me 38, Dh, 36,
DD, Katie Grace 4/8/03 she's 5 now!!
DS, Samuel Fenway...born 12/22/04, he's 4 now!
With Katie, tested ++++at 12dpo
13dpo: 428, 16dpo:1,903!!!
Born on April 8, 2003
8lbs, 6oz, 20 inches long
With Sam,4/12/04 beta= 131 at 8 or 11 dpo, p4 14.4
4/15/04 beta= 1,059 at 11 or 14 dpo
4/28/04=36,850 P4=35.2
Thank you for your kind words. I don't know exactly what they are testing for. They took 25 viles of blood my first hour I was there. We also agreed on an autopsy and tissue analysis only because we wanted to be able rule out anything that may reoccur. I have started going back to the gym (I'm only walking), to try and get my mind off of the waiting period. Plus I figured if I start now I can probably lose the weight so in a couple of weeks when we do get the ok, I will be at a healthy weight. I am also starting to temp just to see where the temps are and I felt better thinking to myself that if I start temping now, I can atleast have a head start and will know if my body is doing what it's supposed to be doing.
My husband says he would like to wait until November to start trying agin, and I know it's only 12 weeks away, I just feel like I'll never make it that long.
3 weeks of bleeding? Is that normal? That feels like an eternity. My doctor said it would only be a few days and that we could start haveing sex after the bleeding stopped. I don't know wthat I can wait 3 weeks. Obviously I am an impatient person. Patience will be my hardest lesson for me to learn. When did you return to your sex life? Did you wait until the bleeding stopped?
Thank you for your responses.
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Sunshine - Yep, I bled for 3wks and it did feel like an eternity. We started having (protected) sex the day after it stopped, but didn't start TTC again until the doc gave the ok (which was last Wed.). I know it does feel like forever. I'm temp'ing too, but things are a little weird - but the only normal cycle I ever had in my life (I'm 30) was when I conceived my son.
Way to go with the exercise! I started again too - good opportunity to lose some of the preg weight and get things going again!
beachcyster - good luck to you. My doctor never said anything to me about 3 weeks of bleeding. He said just a few days and wants to see me on Wednesday. Did they give you a reason for your loss?
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I am so very sorry for your loss! Please take some time to grieve. If your husband doesn't feel ready to ttc, I feel strongly that you should wait. The subsequent pregnancy is so difficult, you will be better off if you've gotten the fresh grief handled a little bit so that you can get through your days and manage the fears a little better. Having Dad onboard with that will be essential. Lochia, bleeding after birth, can definitely last up to six weeks, sometimes even more, but mine was three full weeks and then CD1 happened, surprising me. I had not heard of anyone else here starting a cycle so soon after delivery, and I haven't since. (((hugs))) Please keep us updated, especially on those test results.
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
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Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
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SheriKMCO - We are taking the time we need but my husband & I are both anxious to start trying again. That was the first thing we talked about and having another baby and starting our family over is our #1 priority. I personally feel that getting pregnant agin will fill my void.
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SheriKMCO - We are taking the time we need but my husband & I are both anxious to start trying again. That was the first thing we talked about and having another baby and starting our family over is our #1 priority. I personally feel that getting pregnant agin will fill my void.
Hi Sunshine, I'm so sorry for the loss of your little one, I lost my twins 2 weeks ago at 22 weeks 3 days, not from stillbirth, but from my waters breaking early, I feel the same way you do about TTC again quickly, at the moment I feel very empty, not just from the loss of my babies but also from the loss of being pregnant if that makes sense
big hugs to you and your DH
hela xxx
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Sunshine - Me? I ran into trouble on the way to a wedding, headed for the nearest emergency room, was totally effaced and at 5cms - they tried to do an rescue cerclage, but after a week, we found out it didn't work, my membranes bulged again out of my body while on the toilet (sorry that might be too much info), and, well, I delivered Hudson at 10pm that night - 6 days after entering the hospital. He was perfect, but just too young. I have an incompetent cervix that couldn't even hold a baby at 22wks! My OB is giving me a cerclage at 12wks in the next pregnancy (if we can get there!) It is difficult because there was nothing wrong with Hudson, but something with me... It's amazing how one simple thing can terminate a pregnancy, and there is nothing they can do.
We are starting to try again, we feel much like you do. It is hard to wait for the physical stuff to work its way through, but there is really nothing you can do but take good care of yourself. I'm just worried that my cycles aren't going to start again, but I'll have to just wait and see.
I wanted to try again so bad. I just wanted a baby to take care of. I'm glad we had to wait a little bit though, in retrospect. It gave me a little time to grieve.
I got pregnant 5 months after Eric was born though. That may seem like a long time now, but our second baby's duedate was 2/17/07 and Eric's was 2/25/06. It was less than a year afterwards.
My cycles were very regular after Eric, which I think is sort of common with cysters. I hope the other ladies will correct me if I'm wrong. I temped for 3 months, and that helped. It gave me hope. I was doing something to help us TTC, but we couldn't actively start right away.
I hope your tests come back ok and soon! I'm so sorry again for your loss.
Has anyone had a stillbirth??? 
