Haven't forgotten about you ladies!! God is Good!

HISIRISHGEM · 04-14-2003, 02:40 AM

Life has been extremely hectic lately. That tied with the fact that God is showing me some kind of direction and helping me to get through my differences with my father are just so overwhelming. Yet my husband and I were having a Bible study together and I'm starting to understand that I can have joy no matter what the situation is. If I have joy only during the good times, then what will I have to hold onto during the rough times?

I had prayed to God because I've really been struggling with the communication with my parents......I've struggled for most of my life to get them to love me and be proud of me. one day a few weeks ago, I called to ask my father how he was doing...and he got so caught up into his computer games that he just handed the phone to my mother without even saying hello. I was upset at a comment my mother made that she and my father couldn't come visit me here in Ohio because they couldn't ever take off work, and because there was just no money or time. DH's parents have visited us...and though their on retirement, they don't make half the income both my parents do. I was starting to just deal with it, when I found out that my parents cat thats 96 in cat years, had a stroke. They were struggling to keep her alive....and spent many days off work, and even spent 250.00 to take her to Cornell University to have her heart checked out. I was disappointed and my heart dropped when I found out that a cat was worth more than a relationship with their only daughter. So I told my mother to tell my father that and I hung up soon after without calling. I didn't hear from my father and was so upset that he would let me go so freely as he had done in the past. I was trying so hard to make them happy, yet I was so sad. I prayed to God for direction and thought that I would just have to separate myself from focusing on anything other than Gods will for me.......I was focusing too much on trying to get love from my parents that I was forgetting what was really important.

Needless to say, through many tears and forming a newness with my relationship with Christ, I received an email today from my father. It said to Becky ( a cyber dozen roses) Love dad.

He attatched a song on and I listened as tears welt down my face. The song said it was ok to open up and talk, it was ok to feel that way. He'd begun to understand what really mattered and it was a relationship with me.....he loved me and that time was too precious to let me go. Ladies, I'm in tears even thinking about this because its the FIRST time, my dad ever said he loved me and meant it....even though he used email instead of a phone. He was never one for communicating himself very well and we had alot of emotions and unsolved issues that were recently communicated in December. It's bitter sweet for me because I'm thankful that God has answered me by allowing me to love my daddy and my daddy to finally love me back, but I'm sad because it took 28 years to do. I love my father, and I'm praying that like many other issues, this isn't just a final gesture and everything go back the way it used to be. I just want my father! Will you please pray for Him? Will you pray for His salvation and pain?? He's addicted to the computer and hides his emotions and feelings in a world thats not real. I don't want my father to Give up on God. I want him to know and have a relationship with Him.

I've been so blessed with the grace of God. I was ready to quit because I felt like there was no purpose for my life. My husband was going back to school, I felt like a childless (because we haven't conceieved yet) Orphan (because I haven't felt their love). What did God put me here, where was is he at a time when EVERYTHING seems to be just so hard these past 2 years? I looked out my window when I was telling my husband this, and I saw the most beautiful sunset I'd ever seen. I went to church today and felt peace and love and joy.......I felt the touch of Jesus' hand and knew I was alright and my purpose would come in time. Tonight, I received that email......and thus sayeth the Lord, Have Faith for I am with Thee!

I wanted you all to know that I'm here and I'm thinking of you and praying for all of you!! Please know that I am greatful for each and every one of your prayers! May God Bless You All!

loriwells · 04-14-2003, 04:41 AM

Reading your post broke my heart, you and I are so similar in so many ways I hadn't realized it before in all the emails me and you have exchanged till just now, I was so wrapped up in what was going on with my life and my troubles. I wanted to let you know I think of you often and seeing your emails and your praise of god always makes my day, a soul like yours is rare these days. I thank god for a friend like you. God bless, Lori

Email me if you need to talk!!!!

HISIRISHGEM · 04-15-2003, 01:12 AM

Thank you Lori!! Thats so sweet!! I will have to mail you. I have an update about a few things......You'll laugh when you find out how weird these past few months have been.lol

Juana Baby · 04-17-2003, 02:19 AM

Becky,
I will definitely pray for you and your Father. It has always broke my heart to hear of children who have painful relationships with their parents. My Dad always told me that your parents will always be your best friends and the ones you can count on. My Dad passed away on my 26th birthday. My Mother is still my best friend.

No matter what though, you have a Heavenly Father that will never leave you nor forsake you. He will always be there for you.
laural

HISIRISHGEM · 04-18-2003, 01:56 AM

Thanks Laurel!

I wrote my dad an email a couple of days ago in response to his. I told him that I wasn't mad at him, but I missed his love and want a relationship with him. I told him that I love him so much. He and my mom kid around and say "yeah right" or "I won't ever want you to take care of me when I'm old, I'd rather go to an old folks home"...but I told him that I'm not sure if he really knows how deep my love for them is.

I sent he and my mom a card in the mail and pretty much told them both how much I loved them...and wanted to see them in heaven some day. I gave them the gospel and have let them decide.......I have never really gone into faith with them before....because I was always afraid they'd role their eyes and call me a freak like they do my uncle and cousin. But I tried to do it without preaching and more with Love. I really believe it was God working through me, because I hadn't ever had the gutts to write that. I believe that God has the power, and though I'm scared about it, I know that He will come through in His own time. I just pray that they both have open hearts.

Thank you both for your openess and prayers. You two are very special people to me!! Thanks for your Godly wisdom when I've needed it most!