...Last night my DH surprised me to take me out to dinner. he works two full time jobs and I get to see him an hour a day - literally.
It's been especially hard because it's been like that since the m/c. I think at first it was on outlet for him. Next week his schedule will finally lighten up.
Anyways, so he took me to my fav chinese restaurant. I know the owner, and she knew about the m/c and my PCOS. She gave me her friends business card - she is a chinese herbalist and specializes in fertility, weight gain, etc. So she was telling me about her and some stories of women who successfully conceived. I was soooo happy and when she left I told DH that I was calling first thing tomorrow.
He kind of just smiled and laughed - so I asked him what he found funny. He said when he was growing up he used to laugh at people who were waiting for fertile days and seeking out remedies to get pregnant, etc. He said he never thought he'd be one of them - that he'd just have children and couldn't control how many children because he'd just keep having them.
He looked so disappointed, and I didn't know what to say. I was fighting off tears in the middle of the restaurant! I just said I am sorry and just kept fighting the tears.
I know he didnt mean it like that, but when you already feel like a failure, something like that just kills. He tried saying 'Oh, you never know, it could be me! I'll do anything it takes to have a baby, etc..." but I just feltt horrible, useless and like he had a defective, disappointing wife.
Just had to get that out. I am fighting the tears again...
I am so, so very sad....
__________________ Me 22 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. , DH 25 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. , Preggo with #1 (Make du'aa baby sticks inshaAllah!) M/C - 5/18/07 @ 14 wks
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Please say mashaAllah!
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My DH does the same thing no meaning to, but when your already emotional as it is from all the PCOS stuff & infertility & your doing everything right & everything ya can & wanting a baby with all your heart.
I know all to well the feeling of of failing. when it comes to trying to get pregnant. The 1 super special thing that women are blessed to do & yet we cant.
(((HUGS))) If ya ever wanna chat Im here for ya.
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Amy: (24) Josh (21)
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DS: Jakob 10/13/02
Sometimes it's hard to remember that he's sad too -- not remotely angry, but sad. I know it never feels this way, but in some ways it's a good thing he can open up to you about it. Many men just keep it bottled up inside and it still eats at them.
I know there's really nothing anyone can say to make you feel better -- we've all been there. Please just try to remember that you didn't do this, you're not a "defective wife", and it's not just happening to you -- it's happening to both of you.
I hope you are feeling somewhat better now. It's good to find comfort in eachother if you can (hopefully when you are able to see eachother more often).
I really learned to lean on my husband during my harder days, but there were still some days that he said things (or didn't say things) that really hurt, even though he had no idea it would, nor did he intend it to.
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"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
-Albert Einstein
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I'm sorry about that lousy feeling, I've totally been there!! They don't mean to make us feel bad at all, they just hate that feeling of powerlessness that comes with all of this trouble! So do I, for that matter. I hope you feel some healing from the herbalist, and a lot of them work on nutrition, which is really powerful healing for pcos. (((hugs)))
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
He didn't mean it but... 
