He just doesn't GET IT...I'm frustrated!

up&down · 04-05-2007, 11:06 AM

Hey ya'll.

I've been doing really well on Metformin. I've lost about 10 lbs in the past few weeks! I told my bf, and he blew it off.

He thinks PCOS is all in my head. He said if I want to lose weight, I need to eat salads and jog. That I can't depend on a pill to make me lose weight.

So, I showed him my blood work, and he still doesn't believe that I have anything wrong with me, on top of it all, when I was showing him...I was like, "Do you see these numbers? They are high, and these numbers they are high..." And he said..."What, are you pregnant?"

I felt like I was banging my head against the wall. I tried to explain IR, and he said "Do you have diabetes, then why are you taking diabetic pills?"

I am just frustrated, any of you have similar problems with men understanding?

Navi · 04-05-2007, 02:30 PM

Fortunately, I've never had a problem on that scale...Usually I get one of two reactions from guys I'm interested in: Either they get overly protective and supportive, or they don't know what it is so they trust me when I say not to worry about it, and they don't really care.

I don't know what the situation is with your bf (like how serious the relationship is...), but honestly, I wouldn't tolerate that if I were in that situation. If I have a legitimate medical problem, I would at least expect a bf to care enough to understand that something is wrong with me!

Sounds like your bf is just being a typical jerk. Sorry.

up&down · 04-05-2007, 06:11 PM

Well, we've lived together for about a year, and it'll be 3 yrs in June since we started dating. I've told him about it before, and he never said much about it, but I've put on a lot of weight recently, and am now trying to take it off.

And I agree, he's a jerk...but I love em.

mlinn · 04-06-2007, 03:01 PM

I guess I could say I know how you feel. My dbf decided he would gripe at me the first time about my weight the other night - in the middle of another fight which was even better,right? He says why can't you just lose weight like such and such or so and so? I wanted to smack him upside his head. I was like don't you understand if it were that friggin easy - I would already have lost the weight..seeing as how I have been on a diet for the majority of my life,following it to the letter and look where I am. I even said to him you stayed with me for two weeks - did I seem to be eating that much to you? To which he replied - I don't know, I wasn't there with you every minute of the day. whiskey tango foxtrot? I have lost twenty pounds recently and him saying that hurt really badly. I mean I can't take it all off in one night. If I could,I would. Trust me.

I am also insulin resistant but couldn't do the met...it was to much for me to handle. I have my blood sugar in much more control now that I am lc'ing it and my dr took me off the met...thank you JESUS!

My dbf has a needing to borrow money all the time issue that gets on my nerves more than the PCOS crap...but I still love him even though sometimes I question why.

Wendy M. · 04-06-2007, 03:21 PM

up&down- First off I want to say congrats on the weight loss!! Because it is very hard to lose weight. As, far as your boyfriend, I would get some books on PCOS or if you have a printer at home, print out some information on PCOS. Let him read it. Maybe, if he took the time out to read a little about it, then he might just start to understand a little better about PCOS and what the symptoms are. Since, he doesn't sound very supportive right now about you having PCOS, then I am glad you have Soulcysters were you can come talk about things and get the support you need. I hope things get better for you and I would really print some information out or get some books on PCOS and let him read it, or you read it to him. Sounds like your doing great and losing 10lbs is really great!!

nkpcos · 04-07-2007, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by up&down

Well, we've lived together for about a year, and it'll be 3 yrs in June since we started dating. I've told him about it before, and he never said much about it, but I've put on a lot of weight recently, and am now trying to take it off.

And I agree, he's a jerk...but I love em.

My husband and family were the same way as your boyfriend. They thought PCOS was in my head and I had trouble losing weight because I did not watch what I eat or exercise enough. Well, things changed when the Today show had an episode on PCOS. They had to hear it from someone else to believe it. My husband is very supportive but family is still so-so.

lvtgirl · 04-09-2007, 01:26 AM

It sounds like they just don't understand. Men want to fix things. They want to make things better. Especially for the woman they love. PCOS is a condition that very few people know about. If these guys are anything like my husband they probably don't want to deal with it since they can't do anything about it.

up&down · 04-10-2007, 01:02 PM

Thanks for all of the responses! I feel like I'm becoming addicted to this website! I love it!

As for the BF, I went to a forum on here and printed out two articles, one about IR and the other about how IR and diabetes are related. When I got home, I told him that he hurt my feelings by dismissing my accomplishment of losing the weight, and that if he had time, I'd like for him to read the articles so he'd see that it's not all in my head...he said he was sorry, and that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings.

Then, Saturday, I had on a pair of jeans that were REALLY tight a few weeks ago, and he said "Damn, baby, you really are losing the weight!"

He also used to question me about what I would eat when he wasn't around...but, honestly, when I was binging, that's when I would binge, when he wasn't around...so I think he's kind of trying...

lvtgirl · 04-10-2007, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leosbabygurl

My DH completely forgets that I have PCOS. So when I have a mood crash, he wonders why. He acts like I'm acting like it's all his fault. He just doesn't get it, and I don't think he ever will. He isn't exactly supportive of me in that he doesn't try to learn anything about it. So I'm alone, basically.

Girl, you're not alone. We're all in this together. It's made such a big difference to me to find this message board.

daleym · 04-30-2007, 03:19 PM

My DH loves me with his whole heart and he can not wait to be a daddy...we are in our 3rd cycle and no O yet, even with 1000 Met and 100 Clomid....anyhow, I know how much he cares for me, but when I try and talk to him about my feelings (physical and emotional) he tends to block me out or change the subject. Ivtgirl was on the right path...Men always want to fix things and when they come across something like PCOS (with the woman they love), they are at a complete loss. That is why I turned to these forums...I can talk to others and help myself that way, plus my family is supportive as well.
It may help if you mention to him that you are not looking for a fix, just a hug of understanding and a shoulder for comfort.