Hello - Anyone else find it near enough impossible to pray when they are feeling low?
Hi ladies
I was looking for some Christian based understanding/advice/outlook regarding my condition and was so pleased to stumble across this thread so I signed up straight away!
I was only diagnosed in June this year but have certainly been struggling with this thing for some time, but just wondered what was wrong with me. It is a relief to find out I am not a freak and there is a reason for the way I feel and the symptoms I suffer with, but it does not make it any easier to deal with.
I was also told I had a fibroid (after a scan) which they wanted to remove by hysteroscopy, so I went for the op last Friday and it turns out they could not find anything to remove when they looked! Perhaps God had stepped in and removed it first, He is the ultimate surgeon after all
I have been married for 1 year 7 months and this condition has wreaked havoc on my moods in particular...poor hubby is at a loss what to do when its really bad.
I know God is real and I guess this is the cross I must bear but that does not mean I am willing to spend the rest of my life with dramatic mood swings and phyisical exhaustion. I know some of you ladies will understand how difficult it is especially since a great deal of Christians have no understanding of depression and merely see it as a sign that you lack faith. Sometimes people just want you to cheer up and put a brave face on as you suffer in silence and its not fair.
So I am making a stand- it is about time Christianity became a little bit more sympathetic to the complexities of mood disorders and depressions, I have had to learn that you can not just simply snap out of it, I wish I had the answers to this problem but I do not.
Anyone else find it near enough impossible to pray when they are feeling low?
I hope you don't mind my presence on your thread, since I am not Christian.
I can relate to you, however. I agree that people of faith can often look down on mental illness. My advice to you is since you realize that depression/mood disorders are real medical problems that you can't simply 'snap out of', you shouldn't care about what other people think. Afterall, doesn't God know what they don't know?
Also, I think you should talk to your doctor. I'm not sure where you are at in your marriage (ttc?). But sometimes being on the wrong medication can cause/worsen moodiness, depression, etc. And if you are ttc and not on any medication per se, pcos unchecked can really lead to increased depression, too (testosterone factor).
I hope you can find comfort in prayer again, and your situation improves.
Best wishes!
__________________
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
-Albert Einstein
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I certainly can relate to feeling so poorly that I didn't know what to pray. So I said just that! And continued to "talk" with God until I had expressed everything I was feeling. Other times, I've sung/hummed a song of praise, read scriptures and just worshipped in spite of how I was feeling.
For you, I'd suggest communicating with your husband about how your medical issues are effecting your faith journey. He may wish to pray with you, which may help as you're going through this valley. Remember that trouble doesn't come to stay--it will pass!
*hugs* to you. I can say that 2009 in general has been a really rough year for me, and there have been times when I have been grasping at straws trying to find something to be thankful for. Sometimes I find that all I can do it's pray, because it's all that I have the strength left for. There are times when God has to bring us to our knee's before He takes our hand and helps us stand. I'm still waiting for this year to let up, and I'm still asking "why" to so many things that I simply don't understand.
There were times for me I actually wished that I could doubt that God was there, it would be easier. It would be easier if I could just pretend that this was just a random act of nature versus knowing that this was something God has allowed. It would just be so much simpler.
Be sure to let your hubby know that you are no more in charge of things than a fall leaf being tossed around in a hurricane. Thank him for being there for you, and let him know that you realize how hard it is. I seriously injured my back less than a week after my husband and I married, that was back in 2000. I haven't been able to work for almost three years now, I've been through surgery and everything. There are days I know I must look like a cornered wild animal striking out at anyone near it, except my husband has learned to see the invisible corner is the pain I deal with. I don't strike out because I want to, I strike out because it's the only thing I know how to do, or can do at the time. Does that make sense?
For me the thing is I've spent as long as I can remember offering Him praise and worship, offering Him my life. I've tried to live in the best way I know how, not always the perfect road, but the best way I can which I've always believed is enough. After all that I have given God, sometimes it seems like He's taken too much from me, or put me through too much to make it fair. There are days I feel like I've given so much of me to God and I look around and He's know where to be found. Then there are days when I see a sunflower that has grown and bloomed seemingly from no where here in the Arizona desert. Or I see a hummingbird sitting on a branch. There are times when my husband gives me a hug for no reason at all, when I need it most, and those are the times when I know God is there.
I don't know who wrote this, but it used to be my signature for a long time... "When you are standing in the darkness and are about to step off into the unknown of one thing you can be sure. Either God will give you something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly."
As to the moods and depressions you mention, there isn't a lot of sympathy and understanding because for so many it's easier to just pretend they don't exist. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that's how it is a lot of the time. Good for you for pointing it out, and calling the world on it. I think sometimes it's easier for everyone to put their mask on and pretend everything is perfect that to allow the world to see that we are flawed.
It took me a long time to find a church that I didn't feel was like really good astro-turf. You know what I'm talking about, it looks the same, it might feel the same, it even looks brighter and healthier sometimes, but it's completely lacking life, and it's also completely fake.
I don't know that any of this responds to what you wrote, it's just sort of what came out when I replied. I hope some of it makes sense to you.
*hugs*
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~Christopher Allen Doern~ Born July 4, 2009 @22 weeks to incompetent cervix.
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"The true measure of a life and love is not how long the flame burns here on Earth, it's how strong it burns in the heart. - Tammy Doern
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I hope you don't mind my presence on your thread, since I am not Christian.
I can relate to you, however. I agree that people of faith can often look down on mental illness. My advice to you is since you realize that depression/mood disorders are real medical problems that you can't simply 'snap out of', you shouldn't care about what other people think. Afterall, doesn't God know what they don't know?
Also, I think you should talk to your doctor. I'm not sure where you are at in your marriage (ttc?). But sometimes being on the wrong medication can cause/worsen moodiness, depression, etc. And if you are ttc and not on any medication per se, pcos unchecked can really lead to increased depression, too (testosterone factor).
I hope you can find comfort in prayer again, and your situation improves.
Best wishes!
Thanks so much for your response Diamond in the Rough!
You are right I will be discussing this issue with my doctor as I have not spoken to anyone medical about the moods and depression but I have started some homeopathic remedies...we are ttc and I have never been on any medication for my PCOS.
I have been finding it easier to pray recently and have been seeking solace in my bible and you are correct God knows the real deal and reading His word is only confirming that. People are going to think and say what ever they want, everyone has an opinion on everything you know how it is...I guess I need to let them have their opinions and just get on with it really.
I certainly can relate to feeling so poorly that I didn't know what to pray. So I said just that! And continued to "talk" with God until I had expressed everything I was feeling. Other times, I've sung/hummed a song of praise, read scriptures and just worshipped in spite of how I was feeling.
For you, I'd suggest communicating with your husband about how your medical issues are effecting your faith journey. He may wish to pray with you, which may help as you're going through this valley. Remember that trouble doesn't come to stay--it will pass!
Thanks Mat301998 good to know someone can relate,
I have been looking to my word for comfort and guidance a lot more recently and it has helped so much (I have a women's study bible so can always find something relevant to me) God is good He really does have all the answers. I need to worship Him more in my life and acknowledge that although things can get difficult it could always be a lot worse.
*hugs* to you. I can say that 2009 in general has been a really rough year for me, and there have been times when I have been grasping at straws trying to find something to be thankful for. Sometimes I find that all I can do it's pray, because it's all that I have the strength left for. There are times when God has to bring us to our knee's before He takes our hand and helps us stand. I'm still waiting for this year to let up, and I'm still asking "why" to so many things that I simply don't understand.
There were times for me I actually wished that I could doubt that God was there, it would be easier. It would be easier if I could just pretend that this was just a random act of nature versus knowing that this was something God has allowed. It would just be so much simpler.
Be sure to let your hubby know that you are no more in charge of things than a fall leaf being tossed around in a hurricane. Thank him for being there for you, and let him know that you realize how hard it is. I seriously injured my back less than a week after my husband and I married, that was back in 2000. I haven't been able to work for almost three years now, I've been through surgery and everything. There are days I know I must look like a cornered wild animal striking out at anyone near it, except my husband has learned to see the invisible corner is the pain I deal with. I don't strike out because I want to, I strike out because it's the only thing I know how to do, or can do at the time. Does that make sense?
For me the thing is I've spent as long as I can remember offering Him praise and worship, offering Him my life. I've tried to live in the best way I know how, not always the perfect road, but the best way I can which I've always believed is enough. After all that I have given God, sometimes it seems like He's taken too much from me, or put me through too much to make it fair. There are days I feel like I've given so much of me to God and I look around and He's know where to be found. Then there are days when I see a sunflower that has grown and bloomed seemingly from no where here in the Arizona desert. Or I see a hummingbird sitting on a branch. There are times when my husband gives me a hug for no reason at all, when I need it most, and those are the times when I know God is there.
I don't know who wrote this, but it used to be my signature for a long time... "When you are standing in the darkness and are about to step off into the unknown of one thing you can be sure. Either God will give you something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly."
As to the moods and depressions you mention, there isn't a lot of sympathy and understanding because for so many it's easier to just pretend they don't exist. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that's how it is a lot of the time. Good for you for pointing it out, and calling the world on it. I think sometimes it's easier for everyone to put their mask on and pretend everything is perfect that to allow the world to see that we are flawed.
It took me a long time to find a church that I didn't feel was like really good astro-turf. You know what I'm talking about, it looks the same, it might feel the same, it even looks brighter and healthier sometimes, but it's completely lacking life, and it's also completely fake.
I don't know that any of this responds to what you wrote, it's just sort of what came out when I replied. I hope some of it makes sense to you.
*hugs*
Thanks for your reply TDoern and the hugs
I am really praying for healing in regards to your back as I know that situation must be so frustrating for you. I suffered from a neck/back problem for only a few days a while back (nothing near what you are dealing with) but it made me appreciate the things we usually take for granted, so I really pray God will ease the physical pain and soothe your body all over with his love miraculously as only He can.
I can completely identify with the whole striking out thing you mentioned...makes me feel guilty afterward.
I want to encourage you to continue putting God first as you have been as surely your breakthrough is just around the corner, just like the sunflower in the middle of the desert I hope that your breakthrough will spring up when and where you least expect it!
I am so glad that God does not require us to wear masks when we come to Him, in fact quite the opposite thank you for that revelation I received it whilst reading your reply! No brave face is required when we come to God in pray we just have to keep it real.
Thank God for your hubby he sounds sweet and I know we need them to be patient with us and its incredible God found us men like that
I know that the lower I felt with my depression that the less sense church or praying made to me. Now that I've begun receiving medical treatment for my depression the idea of prayer makes more sense to me. I think a lot of people have the mistaken believe that you can snap out of it by thinking positive and you really can't.
__________________ Katy 28
DF 28
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Suspected pcos since 2003, Official diagnosis 8/6/2009
Symptoms: Obesity, Insulin Resistance, Major Depressive Disorder, hirsutism, amenorrhea
Meds: Metformin 1000 mg daily, Prozac 20 mg daily
praying in general is hard for me. I am new to it and sometimes not only find it hard when i am upset but sometimes feel selfish when i want to pray for myself. Don't know why i just do lol. But i ocmpletely understand where you are coming from. There are days when i don't want to because i don't believe it will do any good and other days when its all i want to do!
Hello - Anyone else find it near enough impossible to pray when they are feeling low? 
for 1 year 7 months and this condition has wreaked havoc on my moods in particular...poor hubby is at a loss what to do when its really bad. 
People will always have an opinion... 
