Hi everyone,
I've been lurking here for a while now. But its come to a point where I need friends who understand....I need help.
About me:
I recently turned 20.
I've always known something was wrong with me. I was born with acanthosis nigricans on my neck. Otherwise an healthy kid, my parents never bothered too much about it and figured the darkness would disappear as I got older.
The darkness did NOT disappear. It got worse.
Anyway, I was a chubby child. But not overweight. There were a couple of years where I was overweight but that seemed to fluctuate.
Around 13, I went on a major diet (not eating much)/exercise phase where I lost about 15 pounds in two months. I was 5'3 and 130 pounds (compared to the 145 I was before).
Around this time, I started noticing the dark patches appearing on places such as my thighs, underarms and knees.
My hair started falling insanely. It used to literally make me cry every time I brushed my hair. My hair got from being thick and healthy to drab and almost non-existent.
I blamed it on my diet...which was mostly not eating anything. I thought I wasn't getting enough vitamins etc...
Around age 16, I got to a point where I would eat nothing but junk food. I would have 2-3 ice creams everyday...croissants, chocolate....etc etc
Obviously gained a lot of weight.
Started to get hair on my chin. Imagine my HORROR. I was terrified. Still am. Why? How?
Now I am 20, I am 5'3 and I weight 165 pounds. That means I am almost obese. None of my clothes fit. The acanthosis nigricans appears worse...I might even end up with diabetes.
*bangs head against the wall in frustration*
I went to my doctor about 6 months ago and she said I had a thyroid problem. That somehow got fixed on its own when I had a re-checkup. She got me to take an X-ray of my ovaries...said there were no cysts...that everything appeared normal. ONLY
nothing was normal. Not the hair loss, not the hair growth (HOW is it possible that the one place you want hair on i.e. your head - it starts falling AND the places where you didn't even think hair growth was possible it starts appearing?! DANGG)
I am severely anaemic also. My iron levels are around 11 (when they should apparently be 70-ish).
Anyway, a few months ago, I went to an endocrinologist. She said to get my blood tests done again to check for androgen levels etc. And she said she was 90% sure I had PCOS.
Its been almost 3 months and I still have not done the tests.
Why?
BecauseI am freaking terrified of what it would mean..
I keep telling myself if I lose weight maybe the symptoms would go away.
I joined a gym etc but still have NOT lost any weight...despite exercising 2-3 times a week. Only problem my diet still sucks. I've tried eating healthy but can never stick to it. At the same time, I dont eat everything in sight. I eat normally and exercise, but dunno...
Another thing, my periods are usually regular every month...last year I missed almost three months without having one but they got regular again once I started to exercise.
I know I should get the blood tests done. My doc said she'd prescribe me birth pills...that it'll help with the weight, hair and periods. My periods are healthy/regular, so I dont want to take the pills and become accustomed to them and end up having to depend on them.
Can I manage the weight + other symptoms without the pills? With exercise and eating healthy? Is it possible?
What do you guys reckon?
What am I doing wrong? (everything i know...but I dunno)*head in hands trying not to cry*
Please help.
SORRY for the LONG post .
Needed to get all that off me chest.
You ladies seem wonderfully supportive and the best thing is that you understand.
I've never told anyone (not even family or friends) about the details of what I go through.
I've hidden it all these years and I cannot take it anymore.
*tear*
Hello. I am scared, confused and annoyed 
