Help/advice: not sure what to say

babybokal · 10-04-2002, 09:37 PM

OK, I need your guys's advice/help: Last year in choir class at school there were these four developmentally disabled girls from the special-ed class who would join our class a couple times a week for "socialization" purposes. One of the girls kind of attached herself to me. She's really a sweetie, and I figured what the heck, it'll be good for both of us to be friends. But lately she's gotten kind of clingy, calling me at least once a day, sometimes more, and following me around at school. She's been kind of sensitive lately, and whenever anyone says something even a little bit critical she cries. How do I let her know, gently, that she doesn't need to be so clingy? I don't want to totally reject her, but she's starting to drive me nuts. I'd be fine with talking to her maybe once a week, but other than that I really want to live my life without worrying about her. What would you guys say? (I often need to tell her stuff several times before she gets it.)

babybokal · 10-06-2002, 01:08 AM

That was really sweet of you. I think this situation is a little different; this girl can't understand that friendship means letting go a little. It's not her lifestyle that's a problem, it's her capacity to understand, if you know what I mean. She really thinks that being a friend means calling twice a day and doing everything together. I don't want her to think I'm not her friend anymore, I just want to be able to do my homework in peace or go someplace without explaining to her why I'm going. Thanx for the advice!

babybokal · 10-06-2002, 05:09 PM

Yup, that's it basically. I'm just wondering how long I have to explain it to her before she finally gets it. She'll call me and I'll say, "Look, I'm really busy and I don't have time to talk to you on the phone, but if you email me I'll get back to you. It's really hard on me when you keep calling." I kind of explain it to her gently and she doesn't call for the rest of the day, but then the next day I have to go through the same thing. Thanx for the advice, I guess I just need to be a little more aggressive. I'll let you know if any advances are made...