Help with Depression

x0shelia0x · 01-12-2009, 09:50 PM

OK, so I'm admitting it...to myself, and apparently you ladies as well. I have been depressed for so long...I've never admitted it to anyone. I seek stuff that I "think" will make me feel better. I'm thinking that my depression started when I hit puberty..not sure though. I'll be 25 on Thursday...happy Bday to me! LOL So thats a long time. It didnt help that at 18 I was in a bad car accident in which my HS sweetheart was killed, which I am pretty sure I have PTSD from that as well. Never talked to anyone...I should have. Now here I am 7 years later, a mother and I have to force myself to get out of bed every morning. I dont have any suicidal thoughts, or thoughts to hurt my children, I just simply have no desire to do anything. I do what I HAVE To and I feel that it drains me. Just to take care of my children...I'm drained. I dont want to be like this. I want to be the best I can be, and i know I'm not. My life is a mess right now in every aspect of the word. I cant admitt to my husband that I'm depressed because he will hear "I'm not happy with you" he cant help it. He has been dissappointed by women forever, I just cant do anything to risk hurting him. Its not him...its me. I've always been like this. I need to do something...so I'm asking for help, advice, anything. Should I talk to my doctor about this? I have an appointment on wednesday. She is just a family practitioner. Can she even help with anything like this? I dont have time to go to a psychiatrist, I cant even find time to go to my usual doctor without dragging my babies with me. they are 3 and 1 by the way..
Thanks for reading..
Sheila

froubaby · 01-12-2009, 11:01 PM

Hi Sheila... First of all, you're not alone. A number of people here have depression/anxiety/bi-polar/etc conditions. I've read that this is a symptom of PCOS as well. In the past few months I found a depression site to help me through these new medical issues I've found out about and have had to deal with. I recommend this site to you as well in addition to speaking with a counselor. www.depression-tribe.com

As for your husband, I would try writing down what you feel inside. Write, leave it for a few days, come back and read it, edit, leave it, edit, and so on. Then in about a week or two you have a good letter written out for him that you can either give to him or read to him so that he can see what you are feeling inside and so that he can see it isn't him and that it is you, but that you are working through it. Be sure to list out things you would like him to help you with to get you back on track with happiness. Don't expect to go through this alone.

I'm on that other site I mentioned with the same screen name so feel free to contact me in either place if you would like.

Good luck!

MoonStarFalling · 01-25-2009, 07:28 PM

I know it's hard to make time for you when you have young children. I'll still say though that counseling turned my life around. I went from being a depressed anxiety ridden shut in to an energetic happy outgoing person. It is worth it. 10 years prior I went to my family dr and all she did was hand me zoloft. It didn't help the root of the problem though.