 help me with my inside demons!!!!!!!!
Last night I had a dream about suicide. In my dream i remember not feeling good enough, i failed in life. i felt really bad about myself. in my dream my boyfriend told me he hated me, and really meant it. i remember looking in the mirror thinking about doing it. actually doing and i was going to but i woke up. You know the funny thing all of this is true feeling bad everything except i never was in a bathroom and i was never going to do it, thought about it but never was going to actually do it. Sometimes i feel really bad for myself. like im nothing and i have no future, no one loves me. well maybe my family but thats because im their family but not becasue they truly know me and love me. not even my boyfriend.we always argue because i have an " attitude" or im moody. but what he doesnt understand is that i dont control it. i cant even if i tried. when we argue things get bad too names are thrown around hatefull things are said and i feel even worse. i want him to understand that pcos is bigger and worse then just my out side appereances. its inside as well. us ladies are not only fighting outside demons (our looks). but also our inside demons that we cant control. we can do hair removal we can TRY to lose weight and we can try to take care of any other side effects that we have but, we can never ever totally get rid of our inside demons. and if we do its only with meds that somtimes dont work for everyone. and by the time our pco starts to diminish its to late, no babies and grandbabies, no future.so much damage is done that it might be to hard to turn things around. ok enough with me blubbering like a baby.. talk to you ladies later.
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Im sorry you are feeling so bad and down. It sounds to me you need a huge positive thing to keep ypu going when you feel like this. It sound like you and your boyfriend have issues that you need to address especially with the name calling which probably isnt helping your mood. I know that things seem hard and difficult but there is always a brighter side despite what you may think .. i know i hav'nt helped much but you can pm if you want
