Mazarin

I have been off work for almost 4 weeks with my depression, this is the 3rd lot of sickness in 12 months because of my depression… last year 6 weeks, went back felt okay…. Then I was off 10 weeks, went back for 6 weeks and went sick again.

My depression is not PCOS related, but related to the issues I have at home involving anti-social behaviour etc… something that has been ongoing for some time.

I know I am not ready for work yet, I am waiting a referral to see the Mental Health Team at the hospital, been waiting 3 weeks and hoping I will have an appointment very soon as I feel it will be the only way forward for me.

Now work have just called and they are coming to see me next week, I knew this was expected that I would need to be seen to discuss my sickness, but I feel really uncomfortable with it taking place at my house, almost like an invasion of my privacy or something.

The past week has been okay, some up and downs and I am still so tired all the time, but I know I am not ready to return to work.

I don’t feel I will be forced to, or given the we’ll sack you if you don’t. If anything I expect a lot of support from this job, but I don’t yet feel able to talk to people…

I think what annoys me the most about this impending visit is that it will be my team leader who will be attending…. And that is the part I don’t like… I feel really unable to talk to him about all of this as I simply don’t like him.

I'd feel better if it was just the woman from HR, rather than my team leader...

musicsaves9

God not to make you feel worse but the "impending doom" of that visit would be enough to throw me over the edge! why do they have to come to your house???? listen you need to worry about nothing but you right now- even if you quit/lose your job. you should focus on your therapy and THEN worry about going back to work or finding a job. therapy isn't a quick fix- you need to be stress free and focus on yourself. thats the most important thing so you can eventually move on with your life as a mentally healthy person. then you will have your emotions under control and you won't have to keep taking off from work. i've been there! i put everything on hold, dealt with my problems and now i've held a job for a year and a half. i've had "mini" episodes but nothing like before. good luck and i'm here if u need to talk!

Mazarin

[quote=musicsaves9]i've been there! i put everything on hold, dealt with my problems [quote]

This is why I decided to go sick again as I was just not coping with the whole work and homelife thing.... I decided if I was ever going to gain some control over my illness and get back to how I once was I would have to open up and seek proper help.

I've now emailed my team leader and told him that I cannot make next week on the Monday (the friend I was taking for support has another appointment) and I've also stated I am not comfortable with it being at my house and that I would prefer to come to them....

There is no way I am having my boss sat in my house, I am just to freaked by that!

oohmercyme

Hi Alison,

Sorry you are doing poorly again. I am on the verge of a downward slide and am trying like mad to stay above water.

I don't know if I am remembering this correctly, but don't you work for the Local Authority? If so, the should certainly have an occupational health unit and you should see the medical staff there NOT your managers and certainly not in your home.

Are you a union member? Could they support you? Is there at least one person at work you feel you could go to for support?

It is certainly your right not to have work come into your home.

This whole process appalls me! I am from Canada and when I came here and had to tell my whole sordid medical history I was horrified. Certainly you should not have to talk to your direct coworkers about this issue (I doubt they'd want the low-down if you a yeast infection of chronic explosive diaherra or something!)

All the best!

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Lori (36)
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"My grace is sufficient for you." 2 Corinthians 12:9a

Mazarin

Hey Lori!

I just answered your other post over at the UK board about your referral!

Yeah I am still working for the Local Authority. I am not in the union, I never got information on it to join but from past experiences with a union in an old job some years ago I found them useless!

When I submitted my first sick note 3 weeks ago I was told I was being referred to OHU and I was more than happy to go back there sooner with this being the 3rd time I was off with the same thing. I was also promised when I went back on 3rd May after 10 weeks off I would get seen by them but I have not been…. My team leader is useless; he makes promises but never actually follows them through!

I am really reluctant to discuss issues with him, I don’t feel comfortable talking to him, I don’t think it’s because he a man (he’s 31 I think) but he reminds me of Peter Pan, always got a vacant expression on his face…. The week before I went sick, he finally got around to chasing me up and in a 121 I had with him (the first since February) it was held in a public area, and I was not going to discuss how I was feeling with other people walking past like I was sat in a goldfish bowl! My 121 lasted about 10 minutes and it should be at least an hour! I always get the impression with him he has little time for his team, he’s great at fun and games and bringing in nice sweet things from M&S but when it comes down to team leader skills, he sucks!

I’ve never mentioned the PCOS to him, because I feel it’s something he does not have a right to know about but I would be happy to talk to someone in OHU about it….

I am not worried about the meeting, my friend is coming along for support…. But I am just reluctant to talk to them about what is going on because even I don’t fully know what is wrong with me right now….

oohmercyme

Oh Alison- yer boss sounds like a right git (did I use *git* appropriately? )

Before you met with him, talk to HR or Occupational Health, you do not have to talk to you boss about your personal issues. Might be different if he was supportive and you felt that it would have a positive outcome, but the man is an idiot. (AND he should know better!)

Good luck!

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Lori (36)
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* * * * * * * * * *
Meds: Metformin 1000mg and Celexa 20mg
* * * * * * * * * *
"My grace is sufficient for you." 2 Corinthians 12:9a

Mazarin

I know.... makes it worse...

I finally got hold of him today... I feel so wrapped up in work issues right now I may as well be there... it's really not helping all this!

He told me that if it is at work then I can't have a friend present and that I need to have someone from work or the union...

I am reluctant to have anyone from work as I don't wish to discuss my personal issues infront of working people!

Grrrrrrrrrrr it's hacking me off right now!