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Old 07-22-2005, 01:52 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Helping with a Baby Shower

A little background: I had a missed m/c at the end of March at 10 weeks, and a D&C in early April. I've been dealing pretty well with my emotions related to the m/c (thanks in a large part to acupuncture, I believe), but still have my sad moments, of course.

So, a co-worker's wife is pg with twins, due in the next few weeks. Our office manager asked me if I would help throw the shower. Although many of my co-workers knew about the m/c, I think they assume I'm now over it. Nobody talks about it, or how I may feel about all the baby talk. And that's ok, I know it's different for someone who has been through it. Truthfully, I am ok helping with the baby shower, because I like my co-worker and his wife, but how do I do this, emotionally?

Any advice?

Thanks.
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Old 07-22-2005, 09:01 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 07-22-2005, 09:14 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I never m/c, but month after month of BFN , then my sister whos only 21 announced shes pregnant, it took me a while to embrace her pregnancy.. But i realized that babies are a gift to the world, and we should celebrate them all..
So i pitched in and i just love that little guy, i still get my days, i look at the pictures and say.. why not me?? but i deal with it..
Good luck. .
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Old 07-22-2005, 12:02 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I've been thinking about this.... and I don't really have any solid advice. I just wanted to say that I think you're doing a nice thing and I hope you have all the strength you need that day.

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Old 07-22-2005, 12:29 PM   #5 (permalink)
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You could say you'll plan some non-babyish stuff like the food or the invites/announcements, whatever sounds easy for you emotionally, then on the day of the event, someone else should do the silly games if there are any and do the fawning over the new mom. It's not fair to make yourself do the things that might be the hardest. Let yourself run to the bathroom and cry if needed. I know I would! I guess my point is that if you WANT to help, try to do the things that are before the party rather than during the actual event. Allow yourself to keep some distance after setup.
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Old 07-24-2005, 11:42 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Thanks for the responses. I'll try to take some of the non-baby tasks, and we'll see how it goes. I really appreciate your advice.

Good luck!
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