Him, me, she, and baby makes 4

jenakarose · 04-11-2008, 11:05 AM

It is so hard to find a place to post that something I say about my situation will not offend others. I thought I would start this blog and link it so that I would not offend anyone. Thanks for reading, I know this is mostly for me and I will ramble.... It is a brave soul that reads all my frustrations, joys, trials, etc.

floridacracker · 04-11-2008, 12:38 PM

Where is the link to your blog?

jenakarose · 04-11-2008, 01:51 PM

I am going to use this thread as my blog... sorry for not clarifying, and my sig is frozen so couldn't add it yet

jenakarose · 04-13-2008, 09:20 PM

I don't know if it is hormones or what, but while I was cleaning the kitchen, I started to feel very upset about my relationship with my bio mother. She lives less than 10 miles away, and NEVER calls me unless she needs something from me (which isn't often) or if I called her and she wasn't home. My sister lives less than a mile away and sees her alot more often, and by extension her kids get more time with mom than KT or this child does or will.
I think what really set me off is 1) I invited mom to go to the ultrasound with me last week, but never heard from her so went with KT alone. When I called her later, she said she forgot. WTH.
2) Mom is having surgery on Tuesday. She is having her second hip replaced. I have no idea what hospital she will be in or how long she will be there.
3) My grandfather died in August last year. When they were out cleaning out the house for the sale, most of the other family got something. I talked to my mom afterwards, and she said, well, I thought about asking you if you needed a washing machine. She never called and actually asked. I have nothing from grandfather's house.

So I called my sister, and ended up bursting into tears and railing at her about how I am feeling. She tried to reassure me that it isn't as bad as I feel like it is, but in all reality, she can't see things from this side because she isn't here. She says she has to call mom to find out things, that mom never calls and invites them over to spend time or anything. She says she doesn't think mom is intentionally shutting me out, that she acts this was because of how she was raised. That doesn't make me feel better.

jenakarose · 04-14-2008, 01:10 PM

I am feeling a bit better today. Not quite so emotional about the whole thing, but I do have to say that the selfish part of me wants to call my mom and have it out with her. Considering it is the day before her surgery, I think that is pretty bad, and definately out of the question. I guess if she doesn't tell me anything, she has no right to complain that I don't come to see her. It must mean she doesn't want me there. Ok, that is her choice to make.

I have been having migraine headaches almost every day. I am getting really tired of not being able to get rid of them. I made an appt with a chiropractor for Wed. Maybe part of the problem is my neck being out of place. We will see if that helps.

Shane is feeling the strain of being gone for the last 4 weeks or so. He is starting to worry that the baby will not bond with him because he is gone so often. When he lets things pile up on him, then he starts to be in a constant bad mood, and everything I say gets twisted in his mind. It is hard to be away from your spouse during a pregnancy. I don't think he realized how much he would miss or how hard it would be.

jenakarose · 04-14-2008, 06:02 PM

We have the annual review for KT tomorrow. Compared to where we were a year ago, she has made so many gains in behavior. There are still issues, and she will continue to have the 504, because state testing starts in 3rd grade here, which is next year. We modified her meds last week, and as far as being able to manage her emotions when she is angry, she is doing better. Just today, another boy pushed her down in the bark outside. Before the med change, she would have gone after him with a vengance. Instead, she tried to get help, and when she felt they weren't listening to her, she came to me (I am working in the same school right now,) and I sent her to the ISS room for a cool off session so that when she went back into class after lunch, she was back in control. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. I am so proud of this kind of improvement.

jenakarose · 04-21-2008, 12:41 PM

So here's the scoop. My mom lives in Hawaii. She has been talking for about a month about coming over when the baby gets here. Thats great. Shane wants to pay for her hotel while she is here. Then the next thing she says is how it would be more helpful if she were to come when Shane goes back to work (he works for a union, out of town most of the time.) This didn't sit well with him, but he eventually let it go. Then, Sat night she suggested that the baby, KT and I come after he goes back to work over there for a month. She is trying to find a way to make everyone happy and still be as helpful with the new baby and KT as she can possibily be. She also has considered having my daughter come over for the summer to stay. Well let me tell you, even though I never really considered it, I am now in the wrong and taking her side. He is furious because he is feeling rejected by her. She didn't invite him and such crap... After several hours of angry texts from him, I decided I needed to call and talk to him rather than text... HE REFUSED TO PICK UP THE PHONE!!! He said he was too pissed... Ok fine. I decided that I didn't need anymore stress of him texting me angry the rest of the night, so I turned my phone off when I went to bed. I woke up this morning to 2 voicemails and about 16 texts from him, most angry and railing because of her offer. So now I am at work, he is sleeping (works nights) and I am still not in the mood to discuss this. He keeps throwing it in my face that his job is dangerous and could get him killed and he doesn't need to be dealing with this... I'm here growing a life and dealing with a special needs daughter and working.... I don't need to be dealing with the crap either!!!

szavala · 06-03-2008, 09:11 PM

Wow, Jen, it sounds like your family is alot like mine! My maternal grandmother does the same kind of stuff as your biological mom, most of it concerning other family also, but I would probably need to start my own blog to explain everything here! I also have a son with special needs, he is 6 now and was diagnosed with developmental delay when he was 4, but we haven't had a whole lot of behavioral problems with him yet, at school or at home. I'll be praying for your situation, and for you to find peace throughout it so you can have a H&H 9 months and beyond!

Melvin'sWifey · 06-03-2008, 10:28 PM

Did you know SC has a blog feature now?! I'm so excited about that, so I wanted to share with you in case you hadn't seen it yet... just go up top where the quick links and search tool bar is and near the left is a link that says blog. People can leave comments too, like myspace kinda... anyways, thanks for sharing!