I haven't been here in a while but yet always find myself back here with the same sad thoughts.... I know everyone says it will get better hang in there but what happens when it doesn't get better.... just worse...
I have been on this site on and off for over 7 years and still have the same issues. I have been to therapists that do nothing for me, I am now unemployed have no health insurance and have stopped taking prozac and my birth control pill. My mom tells me how I keep her up at night with aggrivation ( I am 30) due to the fact that I have no job... there are so many other problesm on top of that,. I have my masters and no job, no bf which is always how it is for me, minimal friends, unsupportive unemotional, unempathetic mother and brother and my father who was great is no longer alive.
My mom puts these terrible thoughts in my head about how I am never happy and never will be and how nobody wants to hear my problems or cares about me how can I NOT believe this to be true. She is cold and doesn't get me at all. She is great in other areas but completely unsupportive emotionally which is what I NEED!! I have tried to talk to her but to no avail. I don't want to be on Prozac or BCP right now but more importantly I can't bec of no health insurance. I know a lot of people on here have the same issues of depression but HOW THE HELL am I supposed to keep going on when nothing gets better but all around me people have what I want???? I should have never been born all I do is aggrivate, bother and burden those around me
I don't live with her and we do speak often which I am going to try to cut down on. Like I said she has a lot of redeeming qualities but doesn't seem to get me. I can't call her I guess unless I am happy what kind of bull is that and if I am upset shes like you are always upset. I just feel hopeless and helpless and burdensome and since my life has been nothing but crap for so long I don't see it getting better I wish wish wish I could find the strength to end it bec I know this is what it will always be like for me.
Wow, I can certainly relate to all that. As far as what to do next, apply for social security disability. This will give you a financial net while you cope with your current situations. As for no health insurance, there are plenty of places online where you can get drug help. A god place to start is through whatever drug you need's manufacturer. Most have patient assistance programs. In the meantime, if you have no job and obviously need help before returning to work, go to your local county assistance office. They can help you fill out disability paper and get you medical insurance right away ans direct to programs for immediate help. You may also be eligible for cash and food stamp assistance.
If your mother is not emotionally supportive then try to find a support group for families living with a mentally ill loved one. Attend one with her and perhaps it will open her eyes to what you are going through and what needs you have and ways she can be supportive.
I wish you the best.
You may not want to hear this. I know it was a VERY hard decision for me, but maybe you should take an inventory of toxic relationships. You can not be happy or productive with toxic people in your life. I am not saying your mom isn't or is toxic to you because I don't really know either one of you but if you find your mom is consistently overstepping her bounds and seems to have no respect for your bounderies then you should look into it. Also a change in doctor, therapist and what not may be in order. I used to see "therapists" then I woke up one day and said you know what I am going to find top notch for myself and find someone who has the most schooling, a looong resume, and maybe even the same religious beliefs I do. I found a WONDERFUL psychologist. He has been practicing for 30yrs and really knows his stuff. Now I feel like I am FINALLY getting somewhere in therapy. I had therapy for years. I am 32 and was in therapy off and on since I was 18! I never felt like I was getting anywhere. It was so frustrating. Also, I recommend you try self help workbooks. The one my psychologist has me doing right now is 10 Days to Self Esteem. It helps with anxiety, depression you name it! It's hard work though but really rewarding and giving me great insight into myself and my thoughts. I highly recommend it. Get proactive girl. This is your life and you have to live it. Not your mom. Tell her to stop guilting you. If she doesn't have something nice to say then maybe she needs to re evaluate herself a little.
My mom is very unsupportive, unattentive, unloving, good at guilt trips, mind games, mixed signals, manipulation, and the list goes on. Even if your life was great and you had your stuff together your mom would still act the same way. Trust me. I am married to a wonderful man who works hard, I have two wonderful children, I am a great mom to my kiddos and I try to help others and have a huge heart. In all respects my mom should be proud of me but she isn't lol.
It's more about how your mom views herself than how you are as a person. So you just focus on you and not your mom. Take a break from her. You can lovingly tell her that you are taking control over your life and you love her but right now you need some you time without her in it. You can do it lovingly with respect. Hope I have helped some.
Also, lol I know this is long so sorry for that. Try applying for some help with medical bills and stuff. I would call around and ask Social security office and other local agencies.
I am lucky because my husband is military and so I have full medical coverage but you can find great doctors at free clinics suprisingly. Even doctors that will work out a payment plan for you or maybe could find a way to see you cheaper. There are all kinds of options. I know some will make you only pay a certain amount based on your income. Psychologists included.
If you need to talk I am here. No judgements. You'll do great. Do your best and forget the rest.
Hope someone responds... 
