Hospital memorial tomorrow

kwannabee · 05-28-2004, 06:08 PM

Hi everybody...

i havent been posting much on here lately but i check up everyday almost. I am almost 2 weeks away from my due date...and my brain is in deny deny deny mode...i know it will hit me soon.

I got an invitation from the hospital a few weeks ago and tomorrow they are having a memorial service for families who've lost their baby/ies within the past 2 years...
...has anyone been to one of these before? I've been a little 'emotional' lately due to my meds or as i read in 'taking charge of your fertility'...'HORMOTIONAL'

and the little pink dress i bought for it i probably cant wear cuz i'm too flippin bloated...

I cant believe my due date is here...i probably would have given birth already...maybe just coming home from the hospital...
...sighhhhhh...i'm just feeling a little sad right now...thanks for 'listening'...

TACM · 05-28-2004, 06:41 PM

Kim, I am so sorry for your loss. I think the memorial service will be good for you, even though you feel emotional. You will be with people who can relate to how you are feeling.

As for the due date, the anticipation of the date was worse than the actual date for me. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my girls and how old they would be, and imagine what they would look like.

I can promise you it will get a little easier. You will never forget your daughters, it just gets easier to deal with their loss.

Traci

Molli · 05-28-2004, 06:45 PM

I work in a Catholic hospital and we have a Chapel and a Priest in the hospital. Occasionally we have memorial services for patients who may have been in long term care or for patients who were employees. I have never been to a memorial service, but have attended the holiday services which have been very nice.

I know that there is much I can really say, but I am sorry that this is such a difficult time for you, and I hope the future is much brighter.

Iluvstjohn · 05-28-2004, 10:54 PM

kwannabee......what a wonderful day to celebrate your girls! It might be sad at first, but be sure to reminisce about the times you did have....from conception on. Tell them the stories of how they came to be...tell them all the happenings....and tell them how much they are missed. Maybe do something special that day....maybe release pink balloons into the bright blue sky....the girls would love to see that, don't you think? Then...do something for you....maybe a spa day? Maybe a facial, new hair do, or a massage....a glass of wine or two wouldn't hurt! Maybe you can think of a way to make this upcoming day a sort of tradtion between you and them....a ritual of sorts....something you will do each year, just for them....
Between the mom and the girls...

As always...I hold you in the highest regard for the immense strength and courage you have. You are stronger than you think and you have so many gifts to offer the people around you.

I will think of you....and smile proudly of how far you've come!

kwannabee · 05-29-2004, 12:04 AM

Holly...

you always make me want to cry...STOP that!!

Actually...my little tradition will be on their due date, June 15, when i light two little candles at the church my godmother always 'dragged' me to when i was a little girl. One of my babies was named for her, and when i went just a few days after i got home from the hospital i sat there and lit my candles and cried and talked to them in my head...and in the background there was a little girl with her mom saying over and over again in her cute little voice...
"mommie mommie mommie...."

I remember thinking my babies were talking to me from Heaven...:o
okay now i'm making myself cry...

i'll let you know how it went...you take care of yourself mommie!!

kwannabee · 05-31-2004, 09:55 PM

Well i just wanted to say i went to the memorial and it was really really very nice. I cried alot and thought about my babies alot but at the same time had to deal with real life...my son sitting beside me complaining that he had to pee and could we eat yet...my dh fidgeting in his seat cuz i made him wear a good shirt...

...but they had a really nice little service and a candle lighting ceremony...lots of little readings including my own story...and i guess the hardest part was listening to Eric Claptons' "tears in heaven'...i couldnt stop crying with that song...the words are so sad. My dh said he wrote that song when his little boy drowned in their swimming pool...

i met a mom afterwards who lost her twin girls and we just hugged and hugged and cried...we never met before in our life...it was weird that we just felt 'connected'...she has another baby now and she was very encouraging...it was very emotional and we got to know eachother very well over the chocolate cake table...emotional eating is what i do best!

...i thought of you all and your babies....and i prayed for all of us. There was lots of tears and nose blowing...but i'm glad i went.

Devi · 05-31-2004, 11:51 PM

Kim, I am so happy to hear that you had a pleasant experience at the memorial.

You and your little ones are in my thoughts...

Devi

loriette · 06-19-2004, 08:56 PM

Kim~

I am so glad you went and had such a good experience. It warms my heart to know that you met another mom and just felt "connected".

You and your babies are in my thoughts and prayers.

Lori