How am I going to handle this?

Turtlegirl68 · 10-07-2008, 02:24 PM

I don't know how I am going to be able to get through this. I found out I was pg in early March, the 3rd to be exact . My due date was Nov. 2. But it ended in a m/c later that month, and of course we were heartbroken. My problem now is my best friend found out she was pg a few days after I m/c'd. I am really excited for her but her baby shower is this saturday and I just can't help but be sad. I should have already had mine and be completing the nursery by now. How am I going ot be able to fake being happy and excited all day? Not to mention, sat is my bday and now I have to spend pretty much all day with her. I love her to death but this sucks. I don't know if I can do it....please help!

Miracle07 · 10-07-2008, 02:29 PM

Renee- (((HUGS))) I have been there. It is extremely hard. I would just have a plan so that you can leave early if it is getting to you really bad. Tell her now that someone in your family wants to take you out for your Bday or something and that you may have to leave early and that way you have an out if you need it.

justagirlgirlgirl · 10-07-2008, 02:34 PM

(((Hugs))) I know a lot of us here have felt the same way. And honestly, if you don't feel that you can go, then don't go. Explain your reasons to your friend, make up an excuse, or whatever you need to do, but there is no reason to force yourself to go given the pain it might cause you. Or, plan to go for a short time and then make your excuses if you feel the need to escape.

I had a similar situation (one of my BF and I found out we were pg at the same time - due dates within a week of each other - and I had a m/c while she had a healthy baby). However, I personally felt like it was important to attend my friend's shower and although it was difficult, for me it was also bittersweet to share that moment in her life and I wouldn't want to have missed it. It helped, though, that my friend and I talked a lot about both her pregnancy and my loss, so I had her support at the same time that she had mine.

Whatever you decide, it won't be easy. But you have to make the right decision for yourself and your situation. Either way, try to schedule something fun/romantic/special for your birthday that evening so that you can focus on yourself and having people around who will support and love you as you need it.

phantine · 10-12-2008, 01:19 AM

By now the shower has probably already happened. I hope you were able to handle it OK.

Dee67 · 10-12-2008, 12:20 PM

I just read this today...and am hoping you were able to cope yesterday at the shower and have a little bit of smiley times....sometimes it's so difficult to be happy for others, when they are getting what you so desperately want.....happy belated bday, too.

Turtlegirl68 · 10-13-2008, 11:34 AM

Thank you ladies so much. I didn't want to post again until this weekend was over so here I am . I went to the shower and I actually felt pretty good. The only time I got emotional was when after they opened our gift and her husband (my husbands best friend) got all teary eyed (in front of everyone) and said it was our turn. That got to me a little but other than that I was ok. She ran the other guests off about 7:30 so we could go to dinner for my bday. I guess I saw even more this weekend how good of friends they really are. I am glad I went. Thank you all for your advice!

Dee~Thank you for the bday wishes!

Dee67 · 10-13-2008, 01:12 PM

Welcome

and I'm glad it went pretty well and NICE to go out to dinner for your bday! Good friends are great to have...sounds like you have some special ones!!!

Turtlegirl68 · 10-13-2008, 04:41 PM

For my Christian cysters I need you to please pray for my friend...she is undergoing an emergency c-section as we speak. She is just 32 weeks and had a torn placenta. Please just pray for her!

10-13-2008, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Turtlegirl68

For my Christian cysters I need you to please pray for my friend...she is undergoing an emergency c-section as we speak. She is just 32 weeks and had a torn placenta. Please just pray for her!

Prayers said. Please let us know how it went for her.

Turtlegirl68 · 10-13-2008, 06:32 PM

I just heard...he was born at 2:15pm, 3lbs 2oz, 15in long. He will be in NICU for at least a month but the outlook is good and his mom seems to be doing very well also. She will be in the hospital for a while but is ok. Thank you so much for your prayers!

10-13-2008, 11:12 PM

I'm glad that they are both ok.

Dee67 · 10-13-2008, 11:16 PM

OMGoodness! Wow.........saying prayers now...even though he's here

I pray that Mommy and sweet lil baby get stronger and he gets to come home in the nearer future! How scary!

Bless their hearts!