How come process is so short?

brener · 09-01-2007, 09:40 AM

Hi all
Just looking through this thread as myself and DH are thinking of starting the adoption process next year... Where I live it takes up to 4 yrs to finally adopt your child.. I notice in a lot of threads in America is can only take a few mths in some cases?
Just wondering why the time difference is so different... It really sucks that we will have to wait soooooo long.

xxxxx

brener · 09-01-2007, 09:41 AM

live in "Ireland"

tariana · 09-01-2007, 10:45 AM

I don't know, but I wanted to say good luck! We live in America and our process was very short. We waited 2 months from agency approval to our daughter being born, and we actually had one of the longer waits I've heard of in our program. That mostly was because we wanted an African-American baby and there is less demand for those babies here. If we had wanted a white baby, it very well could have taken more than 2 years. I don't know how things work there, but here it largely depends on what you are open to. The more races you are open to, if you are open to both genders, if you are open to drug or alcohol use by the birthmom, if you are open to medical needs in the baby -- all those things will shorten your wait. Race is probably the thing that makes the most difference. We were open to both genders, but no drugs or alcohol and only healthy babies.

Have you looked into international adoption? While most international programs can take longer than US domestic programs, I don't know of any that are even close to 4 years in length, with the possible exception of China.

What we did when we were considering adoption -- was just to contact EVERY agency we could find to see their policies, timeframes, costs, and what kind of programs they offered. I contacted literally over 500 agencies, and was able to narrow things down to only a few. That's what I'd recommend... you'll quickly get a feel for how things work.

brener · 09-02-2007, 10:50 AM

Your DD is beautiful.. we will be going for international adoption. there is no babies available in ireland at all....... so thats prob why its sooooo long. I would love to adopt from Vietnam or Mexico. we must go through government agenices here.. its very strict process and I suppose that is a good thing to make sure the right people adopt but heartbreaking for us all wanting a family so bad.
thanks for replying xxxxx

PAWCO · 09-03-2007, 11:00 AM

To adopt a newborn baby in New Brunswick, Canada. It couldn be any newborn too....no matter what race or sex....it takes 10 or more years....very long waiting list. My aunt and uncle have just finally been placed near the top of the list after 11 years of TTC and waiting. They are excellent canidates too! No medical problems, lots of money, very stable jobs.
I think it's just that not alot of people put their babies up for adoption here. I son't know it's been a very lond road for them though!

tariana · 09-03-2007, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PAWCO

They are excellent canidates too! No medical problems, lots of money, very stable jobs.

None of these things automatically mean people will be good parents, or that birthparents will want to choose them based on those things. I didn't want anyone reading this thread to be scared away from adopting, thinking they had to have all those things in order to be chosen... my DH and I certainly didn't have all of them and we were able to adopt.

PAWCO · 09-03-2007, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tariana

None of these things automatically mean people will be good parents, or that birthparents will want to choose them based on those things. I didn't want anyone reading this thread to be scared away from adopting, thinking they had to have all those things in order to be chosen... my DH and I certainly didn't have all of them and we were able to adopt.

Sorry I didn't mean to imply that. I just know them, she is my aunt but she is more like a sister to me. No those things don't matter. They are amazing, wonderful, kind, genourous people. They will be able to provide a stable home with luxeries that I would not be able to provide for a child right now. By having money I just meant that it helps....by things for a baby not helps you get selected by birth parents.

Personally if I were giving a child up for adoption I would want to be assured that the adopting family could provide a life for my child. They don't need to be rich. Just stable.

Sorry for any miscommunitation!

not-waving-but-drowning · 09-11-2007, 02:18 PM

Hi Ladies
Seems to me any wait for a child when you are ready is 'too' long! Especially when you consider how easy it is for some women without PCOS who suddenly decide one month they want a baby and the next they are pregnant, nine months later they have their precious bundle and it's as easy as that! Life can be so unfair!

I've been ttc 10+ years and we are now going over to the fostering/adoption route. I know that as soon as that child is with us the wait will be forgotten and this empty void in my life will be filled with happiness.

(((HUGS))) to all the women out there wanting to give a home to a child.
xXxXx